A
female
age
41-50,
*ostSoul36
writes:I am in the process of leaving my son's father. We're not married. Things haven't been good between us in over a year. I am basically living here until I have a place for my son and me to go. I recently got on one of the online chat apps just to find someone to talk to. I started talking to this guy who is local to me. We have only been texting we haven't met yet. When we talk we really enjoy talking to each other. He is in a so called relationship and it's not a good one. Recently he has backed off from talking to me but yet he has told me that he enjoys talking to me. I'm confused. I have really gotten to like this guy and I would like to keep a friendship and see if maybe more develops later. I have never been in this situation before not sure what to do or how to know if he's really into me or not. We have stayed up until morning talking. He has talked to me while his gf is around. I'm just stumped and not sure which way to go or what to do.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 September 2016):
 It sounds like you are in the middle of a messy breakup, really you do not want to introduce another man in to your life at the moment, especially not one who is in a relationship, that will cause you an even bigger mess.
I do get it, you have been living with your partner but not felt like it has been working for a long time, this guy comes along shows you attention it makes you feel good again. But at this moment you need to concentrate on finding a place for you and your son to live, you need to work out custody of your son and sort out who is going to pay for what. That is your number one priority at the moment. It is quite a big thing for your son his parents splitting up you all need to get used to it before introducing new people in to your lives. Also it sounds like this man is bored in his relationship and is looking for maybe perhaps someone to talk to or a bit of fun. But you should sort yourself out first. Get your son used to the idea of his parents not living together.
A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (3 September 2016):
 You should not seek to tangle up with more men romantically until you clean out the tangle you are in already. I understand your hopes, which is to be with someone you can talk to after you are done with your sons father, but your situation does not permit that, nor do I think that guy whom you have hopes about is up to any good.
What you describe about that chat app guy is a cliche cheater who is abusing the "privacy" of his phone to chat up women to see if he can score on the side. Any man who is unhappy with his woman, he leaves her. Your son's husband is case in point. So why is this chat guy with his woman yet fishing around on his phone while his woman is next to him? Because there is nothing wrong with his relationship and he is abusing the trust his woman has given him with his phone to cheat on her. Why hasn't he been talking to you lately? Perhaps there is another woman he has to devote his time to, out of excitement or he deems her a better chance at bedding than you. Or perhaps he thinks he invested too much time into talking you up without any concrete results to get laid.
So I would drop that guy for 2 reasons: you don't need him and can't afford him. Second, if he is cheating on his woman he will cheat on you in the extremely remote chance that he actually leaves his current girl.
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A
female
reader, NORA B +, writes (3 September 2016):
As you are in the process of leaving your sons dad,this is not a good time to try and start a relationship with someone.Right now you need to think in a logical fashion for your son and yourself, for example where are you both going to live? Will it be safe and priced right for your pocket.It will take time to get used to living with just your son and no adult.Try and sort your own life out first and the best for your son.When all that is sorted and you have found your feet again,so to speak,and healed from your former relationship,it will be time enough then to consider another relationship.Your from the chat apps,is coming from an unhappy situation and is not sure what he wants for the future,as you stated he has backed away....maybe he feels that you have become to serious and he is not in any position to offer you anything more than friendship....so it would wise to treat this as just friendship and give yourself space and time to sort your own life out first.Kind regards NORA B.
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