A
female
age
22-25,
*nc18
writes:Let's call him Mr. Jones. Well, Jones started teaching at my school when I was a freshman. (I'm 16, he is 23) I am now a junior and this is my first year taking his class. Every girl thinks he is gorgeous, which he is, and I would notice him always looking at me as a freshman and sophomore. We'd lock eyes often in the halls. And he is a very friendly, talkative guy. He talks to everyone he looks at in the halls, except me. Now that I'm in his class I notice it more often. He takes quick glances at me and always walk by my desk, sometimes we'll even make deep eye contact until I look away (maybe 10 seconds?) He's accidentally touched my butt a few times too because my locker is behind his door, where he'd stand and I'm not so sure it was accidents because it was more than 3 times. He even has a nickname for me, Cindy from Yogi Bear. And I know as a fact he looks at students butts because I've heard him and another teacher talking about it before and my friend says she's caught him staring at mine. And when he does talk to me, he gets flustered and he stutters often, but it's only with me. Another thing is I walked past him to go back to my seat and he was standing in the front of the class with his hand on his hips and it looked like he had an erection, then he quickly took a paper into his hand and held his hands back on his hips (but the paper covered his really noticeable bulge)I've found his twitter, and he is a party guy and I wouldn't doubt it that he is the type of guy to like a student (but like, not in the bad way) He's told us his "perfect type" of girls, which I also share similar traits with. I actually do kind of like him, but I just want to understand if he likes me too or what. Please let me know what you think! Thanks
View related questions:
erection, my teacher Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2016): The reason why people are being harsh with you is that if you are correct about your teacher's behaviour then this is a potentially serious matterYou say you are mature then as Andie's Thought's has said you should be concerned about all this, not titillated by it and wanting to know whether we think he has the hots for youI teach 16-18 year olds in a college in the UK and here this man's behaviour, if it is exactly as you describe, could potentially ruin his career. I imagine you have similar laws in the US. Talking about a student's physical appearance and touching them is a disciplinary matter. If a teacher in your school overheard you discussing any of this they would almost certainly call you in and ask you to explain everything you've been saying. It would then be taken out of your handsIf I were you I'd ask for my locker to be moved, stop looking him up on twitter, stop looking at his crotch and stop thinking about him. If he says/does anything inappropriate (I don't mean staring as we all do that) then report him.
A
female
reader, enc18 +, writes (6 September 2016):
enc18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually, I am very mature for my age. I have experienced more in my life than any teenager should. I experienced motherhood at 14, I've worked at many many more places than anyone I know, I take college classes and have been for awhile. Unlike most girls my age, I know what I'm doing. I'm not going to mess up my life by fooling around with my teacher. So do not tell me I am not more mature than I should be because you know nothing about me. The only thing I have not experienced is taxes and paying bills. I shouldn't have to do the things I do everyday, but I do because it is my responsibility. And I understand you're trying to help me, but I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING TO GO ON BETWEEN ME AND MY TEACHER. Yes, I think he is aesthetically pleasing and I do like his personality and him, but I do not want to have sex with him or even a relationship. I am not trying to get his attention, I am not seducing him!! All I wanted to know was what you all think he is thinking, for example is he being a pervert? Or is he just trying to be friendly? And about his erection: I was not at all gawking at it or even talking about it to anyone! I was listening to the lesson and it stood out very much after I came back from his desk to get the stapler. I'm sure EVERYONE noticed it. Now, please stop assuming I have an obsession with this man!! I do not, as I've said for the like 5th time, I only want to know what he may be thinking!!!
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (6 September 2016):
 OP, you're not extremely mature for your age. There's a limit to how much you've experienced and experience brings maturity. I know that sounds dismissive, but looking at/talking about a teacher's erection isn't mature. Wondering if he's touching your rear deliberately isn't, unless you're going to report it or ask him to be more careful to not do it. Your post was written like someone who has a crush and wants to know if their teacher feels the same. We can't tell you, but we can tell you that him touching your rear and you thinking about his erections are inappropriate. Next time he touches your rear, make him aware of it by just saying "excuse me". If it keeps happening, go to a female teacher and ask to have your locker moved because Mr Jones' hand keeps touching you when he opens the door by your locker.Then don't search him online, don't think about him, let it go.
...............................
A
female
reader, enc18 +, writes (6 September 2016):
enc18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, look. I know I'm only 16 and a junior in high school, and that this seems like a teacher crush and that I need to worry more about my grades and focusing on school, not him. And maybe find a boyfriend. But this is what's up: I am a straight A student, I do college classes after school, I have a boyfriend of 4 years, and I do not dress provocatively. I am in no way trying to get his attention. I am not trying to seduce him or anything, yes I think he is cute but I would never do anything more than think he is cute. Also, I am not spreading rumors about any of this. I've kept it between myself and this website. All of my teachers say I am a good student, because I am. In his class, I get all my work done and take notes. Not once have I tried to seduce him in any way, shape or form. I do what I need to do and that's all. I only brought all of this on here because I found it awkward how he would stare at me. I'm not 100% if when he touched my butt, it was an accident or not. I just assumed it wasn't, but I deeply know it seriously could of just been an accident that happened maybe a couple times. And as far as you all telling me to ignore him out of class, I do!In reply to this statement, "And focus on becoming social and joining groups and clubs and getting out there and socializing. You need to get your mind off this teacher!" I am in social groups and I do have quite a few friends. It's not like I'm dreaming about this teacher every night. My only purpose to post this situation was to get an opinion on why he is staring at me all the time. In regards to me finding his twitter account, I'm not stalking him. I do it to all of my teachers, even the parents of my friends. I get bored and I find people's account and I look at them. And the very last thing someone mentioned was this statement "Obviously he may have raised a concern that you are oversexualised due to possible sexual abuse within the family,but he would hope that is not so as he would not be the best person to approach about this!" How am I oversexualized and why just looking at me would he assume I've been sexually abused within my family? The only way I'd be able to understand him assuming that was if he's over heard me mentioning it to someone, but no. I sit in my seat and I listen to the lesson. I have not been sexually abused and I am not oversexualized. I am extremely mature for my age, which none of you would know because you do not know me. All I said was I may like him and I asked why he was behaving in such a way. Not once did I say I wished to have a relationship with him or even hook up with him. Now, hopefully this clears this all up because you're all assuming things that are completely wrong and I do say it is partially my fault for not explaining the situation better than I should have.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2016): ok i ve had a bit of a think about you and the problem is that at first reading you seem to be a bit brash or a bit too worldly for your age but then in one of your updates i sensed a certain lack of confidence in yourself and then i thought id better tell you some more stuff you couldnt possibly know at your age!Its just that you are thinking about this teacher inthe wrong way!I guess that as your in senior now youre wanting to know if you are ok?Of course you are ok!Your whole life is ahead of you!Take your mind of sex and dont be provocative!Ask for a different locker please!Also try to do your work!You may be a straight A student and if so theni can guarantee that every one including the education authorities just loves those grades!If you are intellectually more challenged ,well so are many of us but still try to catch on anyway!Grades are good in school but sex is not.Sex as a career is for strippers and prostitutes and we want more for your future!Who is the true you?Now about the crush.If you get over it fast you are ahead of many!I suspect that the teenagers are all forming little groups and appearing to all feel good about themselves and sometimes it seems like everyone else goes ahead but in reality they dont!So they are probably all making friendly banter and seeming to get on well with sir in a new mysterious way and they may seem like they all are in a different place emotionally but theyre not.Sir just wants you to be happy and friendly like everyone else!Thats all.Just be polite!Stop looking at his pants!Be respectful.If he oversteps the line of familiarity then speak to someone about it!He is out of bounds!Crush on justin timberlake or that other young singer!Thats what those boy bands are for!Snap out of it!Stop thinking of his genitals because its none of your business!Dont let this crush be anything more serious!Maybe its crossed wires so far so dont loose your confidence over this!Stop wanting to be sirs special somebody and if you want to leap ahead be friendly and kind to the nerdy boys in class because one day they will be like mr jones Find intersting things to do in your spare time because that keeps you grounded in reality!Stop researching Mr Jones and think sensibly.?Dont fall down at the first hurdle because you feel its all going too fast!Slow down and take your time in the things you are learning.Its your life too!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2016): You are living in la la land little girl. It's all a pretty little school girl fantasy. One which is better left to your imagination - and his. Because if you ever allow it to see the light of day, I can assure you that you are going to regret it. And so will he.You do not have the wisdom, maturity or experience to understand what reality is all about. And that lives could be changed and destroyed due to silliness and stupidity. This stuff is soap opera material, not real life. Don't get them mixed up.You are in school to learn. Your teacher is employed to teach. Nothing else. When I was your age, I had a crush on a couple of teachers too. A few rock stars. Movie stars. The list goes on. And it changed by the week. And even sometimes by the day.But not once did I ever cross the line nor did I allow any man to use me and throw me away. Who knows? Maybe we were more innocent in those days?I had more self respect than that. I was smarter than that. And I also had a good sense of what was right or wrong. Perhaps I was more mature than my years. Perhaps you need to learn something from me.Here's a story. My good friend had a crush on the science teacher. We were in an all girls school. He was a geeky nerd. Not sure what the heck she saw in him but she liked him. Wrote him a note and placed it in his mailbox in the office. The next class, he called her into the back room for a chat. She was in there quite a few minutes and we were all wondering what was going on back there. Well, she finally emerged. Fifty shades of red. I will never forget her sheepish grin. She was totally embarrassed. She actually told him she liked him. He promptly informed her he was her teacher and she was his student and nothing more. He called her parents. Showed them the note. She felt like a fool. And to this day, we still laugh about it. How do you know he would NOT do the same thing to you? Sell you out? This is highly possible if his career was at stake. So, be careful. It is probably you who is going to come out of it looking silly. Not him necessarily.You are so convinced he worships at your feet that this same scenario could not happen to you?Listen, he's a male. Men notice women. But that does not mean that he is willing to jeopardize his career and reputation and freedom to pursue a kid. It is a big age difference right now. He knows that. Let us say he should be smart enough to realize that he cannot cross that line.So what if he thinks you're cute? You are not the only cute girl in the school that he might look twice at. Nor are you the first or the last. I think you are dreaming this all up. It's your own personal fairy tale which will never come true.Spare yourself from this obsession and turn around and focus on your studies instead. Imagine how much you could accomplish with this energy reinvested where it should be. Do not waste your studies and this precious time on a stupid crush when you still have your whole future ahead of you and should work towards establishing goals, a career path and working your way towards making your future life fulfilling and rewarding. If he is brushing your butt as you claim, then he is a creep. Why would any self respecting woman be interested in a creep? He actually needs to be reported. Not encouraged. By you. Or anyone else.Keep your fantasies to yourself. You will likely move on soon anyway. There is no real substance to these fleeting crushes. He will probably do something that turns you right off in the near future. At the end of the day, it is up to the woman to keep the gate closed. And closed it should be. School is not a dating service. Especially with someone in authority.Listen, we've all had crushes. But trying to move them into real life is going to mess up your life. Your parents are going to be livid. You will earn a bad reputation. You will probably even be taken out of that school. He would lose his job. Get arrested. On and on.Not worth the drama.Take it from a woman who is older and has lived life and gone through so much. I can tell you from experience that things are better left in your dreams. Once they cross the line, no good comes of it. And reality sucks compared to fantasies anyway. That I can assure you of.Focus on finding a boyfriend your own age who is not your teacher. And focus on becoming social and joining groups and clubs and getting out there and socializing. You need to get your mind off this teacher!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2016): Well you think he intentionally touched your butt because he placed himself near your locker in the first place in butt-touching-distance and then he let his hand slip off your butt in a quick way so only he and you would know about it!This alone is quite enough to destroy his career without the giant erection as you walked by which he then concealed inadequately with a piece of paper!You wouldnt contact us unless there were trouble brewing and i think you are still waiting to hear a salacious reply!As you are aware it is not a proper learning enviroment and it is not a proper teaching enviroment!It makes no difference that you dont intend to ruin his career!You have said and implied enough to ruin it already!It is nothing like the way you should refer to him at all!As I said before it is all totally wrong!You may want to be a femme fatale but this is not the way to go about it!I expect if he knew you were spreading these rumours he would whole heartedly hate your guts!Without all the other innuendos and just judging you by your classroom behaviour he may say you are a very nice girl but perhaps a little dreamy and less attentive to your studies than you should be.He may think you dress inappropriately for the learning enviroment with a pushup bra and a button undone at the top of the shirt.Possibly you apply lip gloss in class and frequently snatch a peak at your mobile phone when you should be working!He may also think you are oversexualised too early and he may say that many other of the others are also inappropriately dressed!He may wish you could see a bright future for you career-wise but as he knows little of your early life he probably would beunable to say if you are on the correct path.Obviously he may have raised a concern that you are oversexualised due to possible sexual abuse within the family,but he would hope that is not so as he would not be the best person to approach about this!You need to speak to a female member of staff really to get the proper help and understanding.Most adults think there is too much pressure on youngsters to be overtly sexual at all times, many blame the media and the popularity of the thong for that!As you admit you have a crush there is nothing particularly abnormal about that at your age and it is not uncommon to have a crush on a teacher but the problem starts when there is touching, either accidental or deliberate and when sixteen year olds are commenting on sirs erection or not erection.Then it has already gone too far!If he is deliberately titillating you and butt touching then that is a crime and the police need to be involved and the school head or nurse needs to be told because the classroom should not be a sexualised environment!This whole thing that you have told us is already far more serious than you can imagine especially if these incidents have occurred in reality!If he is butt touching you it would not mean he liked you, it would mean he is a pervert or inappropriate adult who is prepared to take advantage of you and quite possibly others as well!As a consequence he woukd be totally unsuitable to work in the teaching profession.
...............................
A
female
reader, enc18 +, writes (4 September 2016):
enc18 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate: When I said he touched my butt, I didn't mean grab or grope. What I meant was his hand would bump onto my butt just as quickly as if you'd poke someone, but I figured it wasn't an accident because he still stood there knowing my locker was behind him. And yes, I do admit I may have a crush on him, but I do not intend to ruin his career. I am just simply curious of his behavior.
...............................
A
female
reader, Flower89  +, writes (3 September 2016):
 He is 23 and a qualified Teacher? Must have graduated very young or be in his probation year.
Anyway you do know that if anything happened he would be sacked, be disqualified from teaching and sent to prison! You may be 16 but you are his student and he has a position of trust that he is already breaching if any of what you said is true.
If he did get an errection around school kids, in the eyes of the law you are. Then touched your bum and spoke about it. He shouldn't be anywhere near a school.
This is something you should discuss with your parents, it's not a some romantic story he is abusing his position if this is true.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2016): Its all gone wrong when the teacher is standing in front of the class and you are sitting there eyeing his erection!It is a total waste of time if thats a true representation of his classroom management and i expect your letter to be further evidence of how much you intend to ruin his career!That means all his hard work is totally ruined!All his preparations and exams and university expenses totally ruined!Perhaps he will be glad to leave teaching after all your scandalous allegations including the butt touching and comments overheard by you!I suggest you hurry up and tell the head 'Mr Jones had an erection in class because we are all so sexy!'Mr Jones will be instantly taken out of the teaching job but at least will have time to come to terms with his sudden downfall!You can pat yourself on the head and gloat:'We did it ..we ruined his career and now he's cleared off!'You may end up feeling guilty but go to the head anyway and clear this up because you are trashing his reputation anywayand you are most probably the ring leader!Mr Jones will survive but as it stands so far he should get out of teaching immediately!Not onlyfor his own protection but also so that you stand a chance of passing your exams by studying as much as possible!You must explain it to the head, the police and your folks because this is an unhealthy teaching enviroment for you all.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (3 September 2016):
 You both need your heads examining. Teacher/student relations are strictly off limits. It's a no brainer. No good ever comes from it.
Keep your relationship professional - and don't encourage him. Don't be a tease. Men's blood rushes from our brains and into our pants. If you think he is on the hook then let him go for both your sakes. There will be better options for you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 September 2016):
He's an immature teacher. You're off-limits and so is he. Talking about students' rear ends *is* bad for him to do. It's unprofessional and he's probably be fired if the employer found out.
This is a crush for you and a creepy playground of teenage girls for him. Don't say anything to him, don't make a move or flirt. He's being incredibly inappropriate.
You're not doing anything wrong; he is, but you need to ignore him outside of class and let this crush fade.
...............................
|
