A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex ex boyfriend for 6 years. I was 15 and he was 18 when we started dating. He was a jealous guy. I broke up with him because i wanted to explore. I hurt him so bad. His brother is married to my cousin and our families our very close. I met a guy and moved to another state. I was never in love with him. I was being rebellious because my family was mad that i wouldnt give him another chance. During a 4 yr relationship with my ex, towards the end i started talking to.my ex ex. We spoke about me moving back and us getting back together. I know that he loved me sooo much. No one could even mention my name without him crying afterwards. Well, he started dating a girl he never liked. He said she was annoying. They worked together and she stalked him. After a while he asked me not to call him anymore out of respect for her. I broke with my ex and met my husband. We got married quick and had a son. We have been together for 3 yrs now. I found out that he was exchanging sexual pics and emails with an ex and a coworker at the same time. We spoke to our pastor and my husband confessed to sleeping with a woman after. Few months of being married and kissing three other woman throughout the course of our relationship. Two were his ex's. I was hurt. I have always thought about my ex even after 7 yrs. I still have feelings for him. I see the pictures of him n his now fiance and she is always all over him. He looks like whatever. He goes to many family events without her. Their relationship.is strange. My family tells me she is a very nice girl. But some say that they wonder if he profoundly loves her. She wants kids and he says he's not ready. He always told.me he didnt want to wait too long for kids because he wanted to enjoy them. I dont want to disrepect their relationship. But what if he ia just with cuz he loves her a little.and knows she will not break his heart. What if he still loves.me? I want to move back. Me and my husband is not working out. I cant ever trust him and get over all he has done to me. But im curious.to know how my ex ex feels. And my son is only 1 1/2. What do i do??
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broke up, co-worker, cousin, fiance, his ex, jealous, kissing, my ex, stalking Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): guys,
she was young and he was excessively jealous. So as these things go, things got said and people split. I can see that.
If the OP still has feelings for her ex-BF, talk it out. The worst that would happen is he would say "I'm over it. I've moved on."
On the other hand, if both of you yearn for one another, may be it's fate.
Be upfront. What do you have to lose.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): We were going to get back together about three years ago but he started going out with his fiance and asked me not to call him out of respect for her so i backed off. Come to find out he still wanted to be with me in the beginning of their relationship. He wanted me to go after him but i didnt know that till now. I backed off because i wanted him to be happy. I thought he was over me. He proposed to her a month after i got married. I mean, everyone knows that through the years we both still felt something. But im not psychic, i didnt know he still wanted me. I did not even think about having a chance with him again until a few family members told me they felt he was not happy. I didnt breakup with my husband and started looking for my ex ex. I just dont want that if he still has feelings for me to get this girl prego. especially if he doesnt want it. But if she is what he wants than thats the end of that. And when i said i wanted to explore, i didnt mean men. I meant going out and having fun. I was in college and 21 years old and he was extremely jealous. He didnt even go to my prom to not see me with guy friends. He didnt want me taking dance classes because he didnt want the men to try to get with me and didnt want me to fall for them. He didnt want to go out with me but didnt want me to go either. He broke up with me because i wanted to spend time with friends that came from out.of state for a funeral of a classmate. There were like 25 people that flew in. He didnt want to go with me and didnt want me to go either. Then i didnt take him back. Thats when my family started to get on me about taking him back because other than that he was a great man. But i felt we needed time apart so that he can work on his jealousy even though we both were madly in love. And he did change but after several years and several relationships he had. As years.passed, we kept and lost touch a lot. But we always spoke about getting together again, but like i said, he met this girl. I respected his wishes and went on with my life even though we still loved each other. I only needed to complete a few months in my job so they wouldnt bill me thousands for the training they paid me to go thru but he mustve thought i was pulling his leg. So the bottom line is that i dont wanna break his relationship but i dont want him to make the mistake of staying with her if he had hopes of being with me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2010): Leave other people's property alone... Focus on your own life.
No one is perfect but you were immature, rebellious and disrespected your parents.
You made your ex boyfriend look like a fool. Now you want him back. Poor you.
You reaped what you sowed. Now leave him alone.
Grow up. Forgive your husband and stay with him. Get him tested for Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Your baby needs it's FATHER. Not someone else.
Focus on the important things in your life, your husband and your (His and Your) baby
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): Caring Guy,You are so right! She will only end up looking like a fool if she tried to interfere with this relationship. People think they can leave someone over something that wasn't worth leaving for to begin with, break they're heart and then come running back when things don't go the way they thought they should have while they were "playing" the field. Granted, some people make mistakes, but this wasn't a mistake...she was with the good guy for six years and left him because, basically she wanted to be with other men. Even if the good guy wasn't engaged, I would never take her back at this point..not only did she leave, she left him to date other men, she married some other guy and had a kid with him as well, she is emotionally damaged by the hurt her husband caused her due to his cheating...so I wouldn't take her back...I wouldn't even be friends with her b/c I wouldnt' want to give her the impression that there could be something right now or in the future. This woman really needs to move on with her life and stop obessessing over her ex with his new bride to be. This guy does not love her anymore.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): You want the relationship to be "strange" between your ex and his fiance because you are JEALOUS. You messed up a perfectly good relationship over some guy that you are not even with at the moment. This fiance must not be that annoying..he marrying her and he stopped talking to you out of respect for her. I think he was just telling you that as to not "hurt you" or to get you out of his life in an easy manner. Your ex does not love you anymore, so get over it. He has moved on, he is about to get married and even if he did "do something with you" it will probably be out of revenge for the emotional pain you caused him BUT that is highly unlikely because, he stopped all contact with you once he got with this new woman whom he is about to make his wife. And what do you mean "she is all over him?" that is what people do when they love each other. You are just jealous and upset that you passed up a good man in an attempt to "play the field" now after getting PLAYED by the field, you want your ex back. You are a emotional disturbed person and I think you need therapy, not another boyfriend at this moment. Seek help, get your life in order and then date.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2010): This is typical behavior of a person who leaves a perfectly good man or woman because, they think the grass is greener on the side. Now after 7 years, you have discovered this thinking was a complete falsehood, you now want to run back to him. I think you need to leave this poor guy alone. He is about to marry and has obviously moved on with his life...you should have thought about the high price you would have to pay for up and leaving a perfectly good man who treated you well. Now you have a kid by another guy, you are emotionally scared due to all the drama you have been through with your husband...do you think this guy will want you with all that? At least when you dated years ago, you didn't have a kid and you weren't emotionally wounded, if he goes back to you now, he will only be taking on a "project." I say cut your loses and move on. Besides he is about to get married so why would you want to try and ruin that for him? If you are even thinking about doing that to the other woman, you are truly a disturbed woman and would be no better than the husband who cheated on you. MOVE ON AND LEAVE THIS GUY ALONE.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 July 2010):
You're looking for an escape from your marriage, aren't you? I can see it. You've been hurt, and you want to go back to a time when you weren't so hurt.
The answer is, he doesn't love you. He's engaged, he loves this other woman and they will be married and that is it.
You can't go back to him now. It's too late. Because, after all, if you go and try to break them up, what are you? You become what your husband is. Someone who is untrustworthy, who is willing to lead someone into cheating.
He is engaged to someone else. That's it. Go back to him while he's with her, and you're no better than he is. And also, maybe he won't be up for taking on another man's child.
Sorry, but I'm sure he doesn't love you, and I think if you try something, you'll end up either looking like a fool, or looking like a hypocrite who is no better than your own husband.
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A
female
reader, johannabanana +, writes (23 July 2010):
 Get rid of your husband.... He is a cheater, always has been, and always will be... You don't love him and he doesn't give two cents about you. Move back with your son, and just leave him. You two have no future together and even if your ex won't take you back, you will still not want that crappy marriage. When you get back with your son ask to speak with your ex alone. Tell how painful it was to know you hurt him so much. Tell him for 7 years you never stopped thinking about how bad you screw up knowing he would never want to take you back. Tell him you still love him even if he will never know how much, and tell him your happy he found a nice woman, even if your jealous she isn't you. If he loves you it will show in his face... If he doesn't take you back at least you tried. Hurry though... you better get to him before he is standing at the alter and you regret the rest of your life that should have been spent with him. Don't make another mistake.
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