A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I would truly appreciate a reply to my question. I am 28 years old and my fiancé is 26 years old. I even spoke with my mother this morning regarding this issue.Last Sunday I went to my fiancé's house as we normally spend our weekends today. We are talking about building a house and getting married in the near future. This Sunday his family was talking about a trip to the beach next weekend. So I asked him to check out the different prices on the net because he was already online, playing some online games. When he moved away from the laptop to make a phone call, I went on and instinctively clicked on ''history'' to my horror I discovered at least 7 online dating websites that had been visited (fling.com, lamour.com, bookofsex and many other porn websites like extremetube.com). I was infuriated. We got into a huge fight, I even told him not to touch me as I was disgusted. He denied everything of course saying that his brother also uses his laptop.One thing led to another, the next we had a conversation on the phone and I said I am leaving and yesterday I sent him a message saying I do not want to continue or go any further with him. What I would like to know is - did I make the right decision? My head told me to do so and I did. It is hard but I would really appreciate an answer to my questions. Thank you.
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female
reader, sbuxton3  +, writes (20 October 2011):
get out quick, he can't even be honest with you about it... this would only make you dis-trust him even more and your mind would start to wonder what has has he lied about! Put it this way, how would he react if the shoe was on the other foot and he discovered that vile stuff on your personal computer? Would he be happy? NO! He lied because he knows it's a wrong thing to do while in a relationship - their the ones you got to watch!
Don't stay with someone who doesn't share the same morales and values as you. If he does something you wouldn't do yourself, get out quickly, be glad you weren't living together with a mortage, children, shared finances etc.
Stay strong and be healthy - body, mind and soul!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ Bruce Lee
Thank you for your honest reply. It seems like a good advice.
Cheers!
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A
female
reader, 1sunshine  +, writes (20 October 2011):
 Go with your gut instinct... he is guilty. Better you find out now rather then in the future when you are already married... ;)
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A
male
reader, bruce lee  +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Yeah, you did the right thing. If he wants you back, you must force him to admit that he did it. And second, you must explain to him why it's important not to look up these websites.He is guilty until proven innocent.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@ person12345- Thank you for your response. I did check the dates and they were very recent -- the week before latest. As I mentioned, he goes on the PC I believe everyday because his mum said ''he plays games a lot'' and he has subscribed to a few online games websites. I just wanted to know if other people would have done the same thing if they had caught their fiancé/ fiancée doing the same thing...@Honeypie -- I checked the web-history because I know he visits porn websites. I am ok with this as long as it does not turn into an obsession. However, end of last year I saw him on a couple of websites which were about keeping in touch with different women (one of which he subscribed to before we met). So I guess you are right when you said ''my guts told me to''.@ So_Very_Confused -- this is a bit blurry I must admit. But it is his computer. There are two laptops in that house. His brother has one too this is why I am reluctant to believe him ...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 October 2011):
 Since it's a shared computer you should check the time/dates and confirm it's really him. Normally I'd say the "it was my brother/sister/cat" story is just bs, but this time there's actually a chance it's true.
If it really is him though, you did the right thing.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (19 October 2011):
 Honestly, it wouldn't be the first time I heard the "oh my brother/my friend looked at those sites, not me -excuse". But personally I would check the times/dates and see if there was a possiblity that he is telling the truth, IF and only if he's never done anything like this to betray your trust.
You snooped because your head/gut told you too, so has he done other things like that before or was it totally out of the blue?
I wouldn't want to marry a guy who is busy looking for sex-partners/ greener grass while being in a relationship with me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): I would have made sure it was really him who was on them first. If it was him then you would be better leaving him.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 October 2011):
 so you don't believe his brother went to those sites?
what makes you so sure your fiance is the one surfing the dating sites on a communal laptop?
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