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LDR wont introduce me to his teenager son which means we cant spend some weekends together

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Long distance, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 April 2019) 4 Answers - (Newest, 14 April 2019)
A female CanadaCanada age , *O AHEAD ASK SUE writes:

I have been in a long distance relationship for 4 months He is 68yrs old has 15 yr old alternate wknds I am 62 one son 28 lives away he wont introduce me to his son so we can spend wknds together Am I being unreasonable? I work f/t m-f

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (14 April 2019):

Honeypie agony auntIt's too soon for you to be introduced.

4 months is NOT long enough to know that this will lead to something more serious.

On the weekends HE has his son, YOU go socialize with friend and family. And down the road (If you are still together) you will be introduced to HIS family.

WHAT is the hurry?

The teenager DOESN'T NEED to spend time with you, he NEEDS to spend time with his Dad. If you are added to the equation, NEITHER of them really get to spend time TOGETHER which a SON and his DAD need to do.

However, IF he after a year will not introduce you, I'd have a discussion with him.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2019):

In my opinion a four month relationship is still too new to start introducing girlfriends/boyfriends to the children. Think of it from the child's point of view. They get introduced to people before the relationship is established enough to know if it's going to last a significant while.

I would say that your boyfriend's behaviour shows that he is responsible and caring towards his children.

I met a man with children who had 50/50 access, so every other WEEK he had the children full time. For a long time I just hatched out every other week in my diary and did my own thing, knowing that I wouldn't be seeing my boyfriend. I NEVER pressured anyone to meet me or introduce me until they were ALL ready to do so. It was greatly appreciated by my boyfriend because I didn't put any pressure on him and in the end the children couldn't wait to meet me.

Don't pressure people do to things just because YOU want to. Life is a two way street and things go MUCH better, when the timing is right for ALL concerned.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2019):

It is good that you have not met his son yet.You should not expect to meet him for at least a year or maybe even longer into the relationship. That is just what a good parent does.As it is you can see him every other weekend.The other weekend is to spend time with his kids as he should.Do not try to take that time away you will lose him.Find a hobby when he is busy with his son.He is a good dad doing it this way trust me.You will only get every other weekend so make your choice.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia + , writes (14 April 2019):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI think you might just have to accept it, 4 months into a relationship is not long enough for most parent to introduce their kids to a new partner or to advertise the fact they are having sex with that new partner.

His weekends may be busy with parenting duties, sports and other out of school activities come to mind. Have you considered he might enjoy spending his weekends doing the blokey stuff with his son?

Another possibility is that he doesn't see your relationship as anything more than casual sex and not one that is likely to grow into something more. Personally, as an older woman, I cant think of anything worse than trying to juggle the demands of a new relationship with the demands of parenting a 15 year old. Your 28 year old son is an adult and should not even be brought into the equation.

I think if you are looking for a relationship that will offer a little more than you are currently getting that you need to look elsewhere.

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