A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone this question is mainly for the ladies but anyone can answer realy. i just wondered what you people thought about male virginity, and girls would it put you off a guy if you found out he was a virgin?im not realy to bothered about being a virgin myself as how can you miss what you never had, and ive been busy with other things in my life such as sport, work friends etc. but just woke up one morning and thought, oh im 24 and im still a virgin am i letting my life just go past me and am i missing out?im not a virgin for relgious reasons, just been unlucky with the opposite sex and not had that many oportunities.i know i could have sex with like random people but i dont realy want to do that, id rather do it with someone i know/like, idealy someone i was dating but i havent been very lucky in that department.just wondered what people thought about this subject as you hear a lot about girls virginitys and what guys think of it but you never realy hear anything about guys virginitys.thanks for your time
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (30 June 2009):
As you probably know, in most cultures there is a double-standard about male vs. female virginity. It ranges from "strongly expressed" to "merely implied, but definite". My unsubstantiated impression is that at the beginning of the 21st century, in the U.S. (I suspect the U.K. is similar) the cultural expectations for guys and girls are closer together than they were in past generations.
The fact is that a 24-yr-old virgin, of either sex, is in the minority. A sizable minority, to be sure - if I correctly recall the most credible statistics about the U.S. population, around 5% - 10% of folks your age have NOT had sex. That's hundreds of thousands of people, so you are NOT alone!
The most general answer is that when you meet the right girl, she will accept it as part of what makes you, YOU. (And being the "right guy", rather than "being lucky", is probably the biggest part of finding the "right girl"!) She might even think it's cute that you're a virgin. I hope she has some special respect and consideration for it - you obviously value your own sexuality and don't treat it lightly.
A few women will actually be attracted by your virginity, for the ego boost they get from seducing you and being your first sex partner. I can guess they would even give you a very enjoyable first-time, and a few times after that, but I can't imagine them staying with you for very long.
Some women may be put off by your sheer lack of experience. The underlying cause may be their own unwillingness to work together, communicate and compromise with their partner.
A few women will hesitate to have sex with a virgin guy they care about because they have heard (and statistics support) that people seldom remain very long with their first sex partners. I personally think this effect is more due to young people trying to use sex to create love or commitment, rather than letting the sex express the love and commitment that's already there.
Your question has been asked several times before in this Forum. Some of the previous responses, from both men and women, are worth looking at. Heck, some of the thread titles ALONE say a LOT! I've done some of the legwork for you:
"Waiting for the Right One" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/waiting-for-the-right-one.html ]
"I'm a 20 year old male virgin and NEED help!" at [http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-a-20-year-old-male-virgin-and.html]
"25 year old virgin who's never been in a relationship" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/25-year-old-virgin-whos-never-been-in.html ] (especially comments from "Precious 0306"!)
"What do women think about a guy thats 23 and still a virgin?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-do-women-think-about-a-guy-thats.html ]
"24 year old virgin. What will guys think? I need advice." at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/24-year-old-virgin-what-will-guys-think.html ]
"Is it normal to be virgin at 18?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-it-normal-to-be-virgin-at-18.html ]
"Anybody have any advice on what I should do?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/anybody-have-any-advice-on-what-i-should.html ]
"What's wrong with my way of thinking?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/whats-wrong-with-my-way-of-thinking.html ]
"How would you react if you found out you were dating a virgin?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-would-you-react-if-you-found-out.html ]
"I can't have sex with her without security - how do I tell her?" [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-cant-have-sex-with-her-without-security.html ]
"Suffering because of my virginity - but it is my choice to be a virgin, until I meet my ideal girl." at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/suffering-because-of-my-virginity---but.html ]
"22 year old virgin. What can I do?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/22-year-old-virgin-what-can-i-do.html ]
"He's a virgin, I'm not. How can I make it meaningful for him?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-a-virgin-im-not--how-can.html ]
"Questions for women about virginity and sex..." at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/questions-for-women-about-virginity-and-sex.html ]
"He's a vrigin I'm not!" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-a-vrigin-im-not.html ]
"30 year old guy has never dated.. how do I get started?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/30-year-old-guy-has-never-dated-how.html ]
"How does a "late bloomer" become emotionally and intimately close with a man? Any tips?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-does-a-late-bloomer-become-emotionally-and.html ]
"I'm nearly 30 and still I don't feel ready for sex. What's going on?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-nearly-30-and-still-i-dont-feel.html ]
"I'm 20 and never been kissed or had a bf! Any advice?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-20-and-never-been-kissed-or-had.html ]
"How can I meet men outside of college?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-meet-men-outside-of-college.html . (The suggestions apply equally well to guys and girls.)
"Me and my bf are both shy thus we haven't approached the sexual side of our relation. Will he think I am weird for being a virgin at 36?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/me-and-my-bf-are-both-shy-thus.html ]
"Can a shy man be attractive?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/can-a-shy-man-be-attractive.html ]
"He's shy -- So how can I let him know that I want him to ask me out?" at [http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-shy--so-how-can-i-let.html ]
A
female
reader, betty_black +, writes (29 June 2009):
 No i couldnt care less! It might make them unexperienced in that department but i prefer to know my man hasnt been near that many women before me, i dont know why, just preference i guess. I wouldnt worry about being a virgin, waiting for the right person is always best. Dont rush it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009): I happen to think most women don't rly care about it unless they themselves had a very active sex life with frequent partners. And there are some women who prey on virgin boyz :( I'm sure with the type of woman you are looking for, she would find it cute or nice...well generally it shouldn't put her off.
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