A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:Hi, im 20 years old and have never had a boyfriend nor been kissed...I keep telling myself its God's will or that the time will come. Yet I really dont understand. I dont think its my looks since people keep telling me im good looking (and i mean random people that i dont even know will actually come up to me and tell me this)...And i have a lot of friends who always say im funny or what not. Yet weirdly enough they're all female friends! go figure hehe. Anyhow, i was wondering if anyone else had experienced this...or i guess i just wanted to tell some1 i dont really know how much this truly does bother me..
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): im 19 very responsible, live on my own, work full time, school full time, and like everyone else I am in the same boat. I try not to worry too much about it but sometimes the mind can be a powerful thing. I am not ashamed by it but wonder why this feeling scares me so much. There is a time and a place for everyone so I just keep on rollin' with it. I have had opportunities but declined them and I do not know why. Life works in mysterious ways so I just keep going with the notion that everything happens for a reason and I try to flow with that.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): Great thread :) Like you, I am 20 and never been kissed. And like everyone else, I not unattractive/bitchy/weird, I have lots of friends (even guy friends), people think I'm funny etc
In early high school I went to a small country high school and I didn't like any of the boys there...really rough types. I always thought it would happen in later high school. The closest it got was I was mad about one guy but, when I found out he liked me, I got turned off...what is with that? Why do we do that? I think it comes down to having high standards, and also maybe being a bit wary about relationships. Let's face it, if we really wanted to be kissed it would have happened by now, because there are plenty of guys who would kiss anyone (that's why those unattractive/bitchy/weird girls always seem to have boyfriends). Now that I'm at uni I have plenty of male friends. I have even been asked out on dates, but I would like to get to know someone before I go out with them.
Good to know none of us are alone! It can be a bit embarrassing, it would probably be a bit humiliating if anyone else knew. One of my friends was 18 and never been kissed but then first night of college she drunkenly kissed a guy at a dance...she can't even remember his name. I certainly don't want that, so I don't mind being alone in my inexperience! So, there is nothing wrong with us, not our looks or our personalities. When the time is right, the right guy will be lucky enough to share that first kiss. Until then I'm just loving life! :D
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): I'm 20 and have never been kissed. So now that I know that I'm not the only one, I don't feel so bad. I know that there is someone out there going through that same thing.
I just went on my first date with one of my good friends last Saturday. He is sweet and funny. He likes to talk about himself alot, but maybe thats what he does when he gets nervous. I want something more but I don't know if he wants something more. I called his cousin after the date and he also called his cousin as well, and she told me that she asked him if he kissed me good night, and he said no, but I thought about it.
So that makes me think that there just might be a first kiss in my future. I'm wishing and hopeing that there will be. And if there isn't then I will keep waiting knowing that I beautiful no matter what! :D
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): I'm in the same boat! Eighteen, pretty, smart, funny, nice (like all of you, there's nothing that should stop me from being with a guy!) I don't understand, because girls who are mean and nasty get any relationship they want. You know, they always say that nice guys finish last, well what about girls?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): well, its practically a year and abit later-finally had that kiss???Well, I'm a 20 year and my situation is the same!!!Approached for modelling, complimented on my looks, etc. I feel like I'm waiting for something...someone better. But I feel abnormal! An alien! Am I fooling myself???Too many romantic notions in my crazy head? The funny thing is, people have no idea that i have never been kissed, nor has a boyfriend! I feel like my expiry date has passed! I actually wonder, if put in the situation-would I even know what to do...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2008): Hello! I am 18 and I have never had a Boyfriend or been kissed!My Story'Can't say I haven't had a lot of luck. I have gotten of offerings of guys in my teens. But I could never just start dating a guy I just met. I have to be with him for at least a few months or even a year to know if he is worth it. I have had two close guy friends. Cody and Lyle. Cody and I had been friends with since I was nine. I had a huge crush on him when I was 12. I always thought he looked like Leonardo DiCaprio. (a celeb crush of mine) but over time I realized that cody didn't like me at the time and as I grew older I started to notice his personal flaws such as a slight arrogance. He began wanting me really badly and would ask me to be with him but I wasn't feeling him anymore. We havn't spoken in two years. Then Lyle came in to my life a year ago. He had a wonderful personality and was quite intelligent. I didn't like him at first even though he was filipino Asian and interesting to look at. We talked everyday in french class and stayed aquaintances but for 7 months of not talking to me he would tell a friend of mine he liked me and he missed me and at the start of my senior year we became close friends for 3 weeks. During this 3 week time he opened up about his feelings for me but his comments were a bit too sexual. And everytime i would complain about my body he would tell me it was perfect. He told me that he was not only into me physically but also into my mind and personality. It was almost to much for me and I wasn't that into him. But now he has moved on to another girl and now I finally decided I like him too. (alot and not out of jealously or because I know I can't have him) But now its too late. I still talk to him but it became so arkward was he found that other girl. I blew my chance. And still remain unkissed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): I'm 18 and never even been asked out, this forum made me feel a lot better :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): I'm so glad that I found this! I just recently turned 20 and I'm in the same boat as most here. I've never been kissed and I've never been in a real relationship. I've had a few first dates but nothing worth pursuing and I've had lots of crushes but never tell anyone about them because they don't tend to last long. I don't think I've ever liked a guy for more than a month and I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up alone. I also have a tendency to stop liking a guy once I find out that he likes me (what can I say- I like the chase better than the catch? Maybe?). I have a healthy self-esteem, don't get me wrong, it's just that I look around and all of my friends have had a lot of experience.
My best friend tells me that I'm way to picky about the guys I decide to let close, and I agree. I do think I have high standards but you shouldn't just have to settle, you know? I don't want to settle. I've always been really focused on school and work so I make the excuse that I don't have time for a guy in my life. But I know that if there was one, I would make time.
Anyway, don't give up. The right guy is around here. somewhere.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2008): Here we go...
I'm nineteen. I'll be twenty in four months. I have never even had the indication that any guy (ever) has been interested in me - it's always been unrequited crushes from far away. I'm not going to put myself down a lot because I know I'm not disgusting or fat. I am of normal weight, I have neither stunning nor repulsive features, and I have male friends. What on earth is wrong with me? I used to think that it was because I'm asian, but now I know that's just wishful thinking. If only it were that easy. There must be something seriously wrong with me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): I'm almost 20......and apparently not so very different from many other people out there- never had a relationship or a first kiss...
For me it's a question of always being extremely cautious and thinking things through, all while feeling like a freak for being so unusual- I'm embarrassed to admit that I am so inexperienced.
I've been asked to dances, and been asked for my phone number. People always compliment me, and I don't usually have trouble finding guys to dance with. But I'm scared of anything beyond that. I feel like I'm ugly and fat, but I want someone who is perfect. But how do I expect perfection, when it doesn't exist and I'm not perfect? I think that i'm just waaaaaaay too picky and that I'm scared. I am way too critical, but i hope that no one would think those things of me.
i hope its because we're all too smart to just jump for the opportunity no matter what- that we wait and are cautious. but, someday we'll all have to let our guard down a little bit and stop being so scared.......
I just hope that one day I will know that I'm not ugly and that someone really could love me and want to be with me ~ I just wish I wasn't so scared to try to even talk to guys :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): I'm almost 20......and apparently not so very different from many other people out there- never had a relationship or a first kiss...
For me it's a question of always being extremely cautious and thinking things through, all while feeling like a freak for being so unusual- I'm embarrassed to admit that I am so inexperienced.
I've been asked to dances, and been asked for my phone number. People always compliment me, and I don't usually have trouble finding guys to dance with. But I'm scared of anything beyond that. I feel like I'm ugly and fat, but I want someone who is perfect. But how do I expect perfection, when it doesn't exist and I'm not perfect? I think that i'm just waaaaaaay too picky and that I'm scared. I am way too critical, but i hope that no one would think those things of me.
i hope its because we're all too smart to just jump for the opportunity no matter what- that we wait and are cautious. but, someday we'll all have to let our guard down a little bit and stop being so scared.......
I just hope that one day I will know that I'm not ugly and that someone really could love me and want to be with me ~ I just wish I wasn't so scared to try to even talk to guys :(
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reader, whatever123  +, writes (30 October 2008):
hello,I'm a 20 yr old guy, I'm Australian. I've never had a gf, I've never been kissed. I don't believe it's because of my looks, I actually put my pic on hotornot.com once because I was paranoid that I was ugly... I think I got 8 /10 or so.By nature, I'm extremely shy but I do go out a fair bit. I can get very depressed thinking about this, I feel like I've wasted so much time, that I'm the loneliest person in the world.My greatest fear, and I sometimes have a sinking/suffocating feeling late at night when I consider this; is to die alone, never having experienced love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2008): I am so glad i found this tonight !
I have just turned 20 and started university. I have never had a boyfriend i have never kissed anyone etc. I got pretty close to a guy in yr11, but i just couldnt make up my mind and mucked him around, so yes that went well.
I have no problems dancing with guys, but i just cant let myself go enough to kiss them, like tonight for instance i pushed someone away when they tried to kiss me and now i feel really bad. I just felt like everyone else has had a boyfriend, their first kiss snd all the rest, im fed up of being alone and i dont want to let anyone down or disappoint them!What makes it worse is my brothers,one who is two years younger and the other is 3 have both had girlfriends etc !
never mind i feel a lot better now i know im not the only one, they say patience is a virtue!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2008): Well,
Funny thing this site- kinda just what i was looking to read. A bunch of people just like me! So from that you may deduce the truth I'm almost 19, never had a boyfriend of any sort, never been kissed, never had someone ask for my #, never went even to a dance with anyone...
The funny thing is that I know I am a smart, kind, interesting person. I guess you could say I am pretty- but not in the conventional barbie way. My interests are diverse: reading, writing, fishing, hunting
I never really feel that "spark" with any particular boy. I guess once I did, when I was a freshman in high school. It was at a dinner my school and another puts on. His hair was red, and I think his eyes were brown. Anyway, it was odd- like seeing a ghost only worse and better all at once. I never knew his name, his grade, or anything and I am sure I never will being miles and years away.
Anyway, I guess to an extent every boy I have seen since then I get to comparing with him. I have never felt that again and it hurts to think that I might not.
So, here I am almost 19 and never been kissed...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2008): i am 19. i am alone. i hate it more than anything.
I hate feeling like the loneliest person in the world, even if i am standing in a crowded room.
I have friends who are with some really caring guys, and are having an absolutely awesome time. I wish and hope everyday that i will be as happy as them soon. i have been wishing that everyday for the past year and 6months.
all my friends have ditched me for their guys. the only friends i have now are as lonely as me.
I kissed a guy once - a year ago now, but i was drunk at a club and cant remember much of it. I dont even know where he is now.
thats all i have in the way of expereince.
I used to be shy around guys, then i grew to be able to talk to them properly. And now i realise that no matter how much i talk to them or be friends with them, they dont seem to like me in that way.
I dont know of anyone that has ever had a crush on me.
I want someone to notice me and think that i am worth the bother.
i want to feel alive.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): even though im da youngest replyer im freakin 17 never had a real relationship or been touch/kissed by a guy.............i had two boyfriends my entire life one i only talked on the phone/comp with and another who i actually chilled with but was too nervous when he was round he had a bangin body..any way thats the story of my sad love life
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): girl, you're not alone at all. i'm twenty, never had a bf, been kissed, i'm a virgin, and i've had one guy in my entire life actually like me (that i know of anyway) and that wasn't until my senior year of high school and he was on drugs. seriously. like cocaine and weed. sad, but true. he was nice tho when he was sober... at any rate, it's embarrassing. i want to remain a virgin until i'm married, but it would be nice to have a man, ya know? i'm a kick ass person. i'm all about laughter and life and feeling good and have a fun time playing pool and watching movies. i have a shitload of friends that i adore and i have no problem talking to people, guys in particular, even if i'm freakin out inside, i play it cool the whole time. i don't get it. i used to think it was my weight, but i really don't any more. i see so many girls who are bigger than me get guys all the time, so i'm more confused than ever. i've got a crush on this guy now, but i don't think he likes me. he's so friggin' cute and he talks really easily to me...idk. the point is, you're not alone. believe me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): You're not the only one. I'm 21 and have never been kissed, or had a boyfriend. Sometimes I do feel bad, but I heard somewhere that the longer someone waits for a relationship the more likely they are to have a successful marriage. I've always been pretty, funny, witty, and smart! I'm told by alot of people as well. So it always boggled my mind why a guy wouldn't want me. My mother says it's because guys are intimidated too...especially the nice ones. And your probably not a girl to go with just anyone--like a lot of other girls. Stay strong because your not alone, and our time will come, and be mor precious than ever. Just keep being you. My doctor asked me if I were a virgin because he had to ask about a medical problem of mine. He couldn't believe I was never kissed. He replied, "Guys are stupid, and one day they'll grow up and realize how much they missed." I wanted to cry when he said that, but I stayed strong because I realized some guys do grow up, and they'll want someone like you, and I.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2008): 19, female and never been kissed, or had a bf. I was asked out about a month ago but I got nervous and told him no, but that we should just hang out as friends.
I had a chance to kiss a guy I liked alot, but he was drunk so I decided it wouldn't be a good idea.
I got asked to a formal homecoming dance at my college, and I said yes, I'm not sure if it's a date or not though and I'm really nervous and I want to have my first kiss but I'm scared.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who's this age and without anyone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): Hi, i'm 20 and have also never been kissed.
Most of the time it doesn't bother me until i'm around other couples or when im with friends who are always talking about the people that they've hooked up with its then that i start to feel lonely and embrassed.I would'nt say that i'm beautiful or anything like that,but im not that bad to look at.People do compliment me and say im really pretty,etc, but its kinda of hard to believe them. I have been asked out before but it just never seems right or maybe i was too picky.I found that once a guy starts to take notice of me i feel really weird and don't know how to act and tend to shy away.
It nice to know that im not the only one even though sometimes i feel like i am.
So i wish you all luck in finding that first kiss.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): When I read this, it felt like you were talking about me. I also am 20 and have never been kissed. People also say I'm pretty and funny. I have some confidence, although I know I don't have as much as some. That being said, I'm not too shy. I do put up a wall to protect myself though. It takes a long time for me to trust people. I've only had three crushes my whole life and I never told anyone about them. Four guys have tried to kiss me, but I always pull away and I convince myself that they're not for me. I've been on three group/double dates that were set up by friends and they were all let downs. None of the guys were special and only one seemed to want to pursue me, but I did not feel anything for any of them. I hate admitting it, but I avoid guys because I'm AFRAID of being hurt. I see other people unhappy in relationships and I think well I'm happy without one. And I was until resently. Now I feel like I want someone to be emotionally, not sexually, intimate with, but I don't know how to tear down people's perceptions of me. I wish I could skip the dating and go straight to the long-term relationship feeling. I jokingly said my parents should just arrange a marriage (almost seems like the perfect solution).
I don't know how to react to guys. When they approach me or call out things in passing (how gentlemenly). I've always had problems with this. I don't go to clubs because I had a bad experience. Guys just won't leave you alone. You're nice and say no thank you, but they continue to mess with you. A guy friend of mine had to yank a guy off of me. That scared me.
Plus, where I live the guys have egos and don't take kindly to sarcasm, but that's my humor. It's funny and I don't want to completely change for someone to like me. I wish I could find a guy who's humor matched mine. Until then I can't decide whether to settle or wait it out for another 20 years.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2008): Let me trump you all--I'm twenty-four, have yet to be kissed, haven't been on a single date, and you know I'm a virgin. I can't remember once being asked out on a proper date. I once conversed with a guy online, and he suggested meeting because we went to the same school, but the thought freaked me out, and he didn't make it any better--I grew to strongly dislike him, and quickly blocked him from my email and aim. At nineteen on a winter's day, I was asked out twice in one trip to CVS while I was nursing a bad cold. Both were strangers, older, and had the heir of brokeness. A friend tried to set me up with another socially-challenged person who never bothered to ask me out, and assumed I was going to prom with him, despite not having spoken to him after our original meeting (we did know each other in middle school, but neither of us brought that up). These add up to my greatest loves! I spent most of my youth being teased and ostrasized by boys because I was fat and I never talked. I remain brutally shy, overweight, and I wear clothes that will either make me blend in or hide my fat. I have no reason to believe I'm attractive, and not since that day at CVS have I come upon a man that found me so. I feel like I lost hope a long time ago of being a normal adult. I have the experience level of a child, and so I retreat into books in writing rather than deal. It's a woman's role to be an object of desire, and though I consider myself a feminist, it's disquieting to have the evidence that proves I'm the wrong kind of woman. If I'm not desireable, then what is my use when men have the power in every other respect?
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reader, lildrummergurl  +, writes (24 August 2008):
This is a nice forum compared to some others :)I'm also 20, never been kissed, never had a boyfriend and a virgin. I'm not at all concerned about the virgin bit, but I do feel like I'm missing out on the rest of it. I want love, and the real deal like almost every other person in this discussion! I have had guys tell me or my friends that they think I'm hot, and I think I'm pretty too so I don't have any self esteem issues. I've had quite a guys that liked/still like me but I just never feel the same way which is unfortunate :(I can be fairly shy around strangers sometimes, but in most situations these days after a little while I can relax enough to talk properly to guys. I went to an all girl high school which has made guys seem a little foreign in a way, but I have two or three good guy friends, it just takes a bit longer for me to relax around them. At school I was very involved in the music side of things so didn't have time to worry too much about boys anyway, and my friends weren't too interested either, so that got me a bit behind the times.I'm at university now and lived in the uni halls last year so met guys that way, but still not the right one. I have fairly high standards, and now that I've waited so long for my first kiss and relationship, I feel like the first guy will have to be extra special! I'm just getting so sick of waiting though...On the positive side, my life is so much less complicated than my friends who have there on again off again relationships and frequent guy troubles. At least at the moment I can focus on my studies and just enjoy life (even though the romantic in me knows something's missing!). It's nice to know there are so many of us in the same boat, and I wish you all luck in your hunt for love! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008): I am 22 and I got muy first kiss last weekend. Never had a boyfriend or sex, but after seeing all the heartache my friends go through about men and all that, I'm quite happy enjoying being free and my own person at the moment!
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Im in the same boat, 19 yr old girl never had a boyfriend. Probably the fact that 1. I hardly get close to boys and boys think im scared of them 2. Probably because i seem to intimating, stuck up and too attractive or because which sounds more realistic because im shy insecue, immature skinny and ugly. i think the same, think god has plans for me but reading the first reply i realised maybe i have to force myself to be around boys etc. But then again if i dont feel like im ready for that then i should just go with the flow. Everyone is different and there is no age set on when your first kiss should be, and first time blah blah blah. Some have that wen they are 13 or even 24!!! Im still discovering myself and to feel secure and confident before i get involved with someone else. if boys pick up on that they can take advantage! Proven by what all of us are saying "Tired of being the ONLY one not having a boyfriend/ girlfriend while everyone else has one!" You need to feel confident with yourself being single firstly, secondly its about what YOU want! Do you really want a boyfriend, or is it because others have one? Are you really ready for one? I know its hard because of age, but REMEMBER everyone is different!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2008): I completely understand your situation. I would say because you have mostly girlfriends, it is likely that you aren't as comfortable with guys as you are with girls. I think your best chance is to put yourself out there and focus on feeling more comfortable around guys (as friends not potential boyfriends). You seem to be a lot like me only I'm almost 21 and in the same boat. Also, there is a chance guys are intimidated by you and if you get to know guys they won't be as intimidated. Either way, I agree with you that it is up to God's will but you can't expect God to drop some great guy on your doorstep...you can't be passive bystander in your life so if you want to change your situation put yourself out there and I'm sure it will happen for you! God bless!
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reader, Phoenix-Rose  +, writes (15 June 2008):
Ok so i know i'm younger well 17 and i'm 18 in november and like all of you i've never been kissed, not even close. I get attention from random strangers but no one in particular. I feel quite depressed about as i know i'm happy the way i am but i'd love to have a guy around me. I think i feel more pressure because my mum had me at 16 and then got married at 17, my aunt got pregnant at 16 had him at 17 then got married straight away. My mum and dad are still together and happily married. I also have 3 amazing friends and we are all closer than sisters but they are in the same situation. Worst of it is though i even get jealous of pregnant women because i think i'd like to have a baby not right now but maybe middle 20's but i feel like i'm going to die an untouched old lady. oh wait yep i'm depressed again. I just wish i could find someone who likes me for me as i say i'm not bad looking slightly better than average i'm told but i just feel like an outsider:( so, sorry cant help as i'm in that situation
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2008): I won't tell you to not worry because that never helped me. I too was in your shoes. I was seventeen before I had my first real kiss. I kept thinking I'de die an old maid before I'de get one! heh It wasn't that I didn't want to kiss or the oppurtunity hadn't appeared but you can't create chemistry. It just is or isn't there. The more guys you talk to and focus on becoming friends with, the more you will begin to realise they are just as worried as you. Many of them are freaking out just the same, about all SORTS of things they think they are doing wrong/have wrong with them. I speak personally, when I say I am a virgin at almost nineteen. It's such a hard stand to take in a world that be-littles saving your body for your future husband but it's just something I believe in. It's SO hard, but I just know it's right. I've seen first-hand the emotional brokeness of women who gave their heart and soul, to men who used their beauty to empower their own masculinity. All I know is that each woman brings a special beauty to the world and has a special purpouse only they alone can fill, just as every man brings a strength and a adventure. Never forget you are exactly what you are meant to be. I've also spoken to many friends who have been very sexually active and almost all of them , I'de say 99% {all but the few in denial} tell me they wish they has never began to have sex, as it is so hard to let go of once you have awakened that desire. The ones who give themselves away to many guys often suffer from depression, low self-esteem, and tend to keep winding up with the wrong guys, due to their self-destructive decisions. All I want you to remember is, you are NOT alone. DO put yourself out there, go tons of places, as much as possible. Give guys a chance that seem average because, they ones who don't stand out tend to wind up being the sweetest ones!! I still feel the same way your feeling sometimes, but if you help yourself, God will meet you there 110% always and FOREVER. Never doubt it sista!! haha We're here for you!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2008): im so glad i found this im 20 and have never had a bf or been kissed or anything...i recently met a guy and i have that gut feeling hes going to make a move real soon and im afraid i wont know what to do! lol ive never kissed any1 before ahhh and its a bit more nerverwracking bc he is older(28) n has experience and here i am with none
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): hey all, i'm 20 (21 in dec.), and like many of you i, too have never been on a real date/had a real kiss/bf. i'm 4'1-and-1/2 ", but other than that i'd say i'm pretty average looking at least. i have had a few opportunities as well, but for the most part i just wasn't feeling them. i know i'm kinda picky and i do have some trust issues that i have been trying to over come, but it still didn't stop me from feeling like such an oddity around my friends. which is why i'm really glad i found this site, because now i know i'm not the only one out there going through this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): I'm 19 never been kissed or had a real boyfriend. Ive had a few opportunity's to date some guys, but they just didn't feel right to me, so I passed. Now I'm wondering if that was the right decision. Right now, my friend is trying to get me to date a friend of hers, hes really nice, but seems to be a bit obsessive and clingy and I don't like that, so it looks like my journey will continue for a while!! ANY NORMAL GUYS OUT THERE???
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2008): i'm 24 And I've never even been on a date.. Just a Skinny Shy Virgin=)
Sure I've Made out with a few Girls all drunk as shit at the bar, but that don't count.
I Think I'm a somewhat decent looking guy.. Kind of skinny im 6'0 and 168 and my teeth are messed up a lil bit .. I Wish I could get them fixed! Its my biggest Flaw i Think.
I Have good morals..I Have a good Job, I Own my house. I love Snowboarding, Rock Climbing, Hiking, Skateboarding, Football. I never ask for other people's help or complain too much
I Think its just because I'm Shy.. Basically. Its not that I have no sense of humor.. Im just afraid to use it. I can't even talk in my normal voice when I tense up. Sounds dumb.. I Know. I don't think I'll ever get over it..
However.. I just don't get a f*ck anymore. I've started going to the Clubs alot now. I just Say whatever I want Whenever I want. I've finally somewhat realized to not care about what other people think of you.
I'd Rather Talk the confesser and be proud of myself thean Lie to a friend and wish it was true
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Hey! I'm 19 (I'll be 20 in September), and I've never been kissed either... In fact, I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never been on a real date :(. Sometimes it really depresses me, especially when all my friends tell me all about their boy escapades and all I can do is listen like I know what they're talking about. Like other people who've responded, it makes me nervous that the older I get, the more awkward it is that I'm so unexperienced... Also, I'm scared that I'm going to keep feeling more and more out of touch with my own friends, because I can't relate to their situations :(.
Like you, I don't think I'm too awful to look at (I get a lot of compliments too, which is nice :P), I'm smart, funny, and I think I have a lot to offer, but for some reason, nothing has ever happened for me :(. I thought things would be different once I started college, but really, not much has changed at all. Yes, I'm sort of shy, but I know plenty of other shy girls who still manage to get boyfriends. It seems like everyone else in the world is capable of finding someone except me! It's nice to know that I'm not completely alone :).
I guess all that we can do is stop obsessing -- it will only depress us -- and focus on all the other positives in our lives :). And, of course, hope that things will fall into place and one day, we'll have our own boyfriends to gush about :D. We can't lose hope -- we're only 19-20, we're not dead yet! :)
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2008): Wow, I am so glad that I found this forum! I too am 20 and have never been kissed or had a boyfriend. Sometimes I feel so down and spend ages obssessing about what's wrong with me and why for everyone else it seems so effortless, but at other times I feel glad that I've still got the experience to come and haven't got anything to regret.I think that like a lot of people who have answered here, my problem is high expectations and low self esteem. No one I like seems to like me and I just don't have a clue how to read guys. I have been asked out etc. in the past, but it was always by people who I felt nothing for.I have sort of resolved myself now to waiting until the right guy comes along and not beating myself up too much about it. I know that at times it can get really lonely and frustrating and you get sick of seeing your friends with their partners and being the odd one out, but you are not alone. It's hard to talk to family or friends about this because it's embarassing which is why it's so great that we can help each other x
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): i'm 23 now, but when i was 22 i got my first kiss. just days before that, i was feeling really depressed about never being kissed, not having a boyfriend...nothing. then all of a sudden it happened! i got my kiss...i was pretty into him at the time. then EVERYTHING sort of just happened...i ended up kissing 4 guys and having sex with 3! no boyfriend still though. (not a slut i swear!). they're not random guys either. i'm really into one of them. so don't worry...it's going to happen! everything happened really fast for me, it was incredible.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): I'm two months away from turning 31 and I have never had a boyfriend...or had sex...or been kissed...or even been on a date. Sometimes I wonder what's wrong with me. Other times I'm glad that I don't have to worry about becoming pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Every cloud has a silver lining.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2008): I'm 24 years old, and I just got my first kiss last year when I was 23. Trust me, it will happen when you least expect it! Don't worry! Since then, I've kissed 6 other guys! It's totally normal for you not have your first kiss yet! :) Just don't fret about it, and it will definately happen!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008): I am 21 and also have never been kissed or had a boyfriend before. I really worry about myself. But I feel little bit better after knowing that there are people like me. I hope you'll all find your dream partner.:)
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reader, daletom  +, writes (24 December 2007):
The feeling of "being the only single in a sea of couples" can be devastating. I was there!
In fact, the "onliness" of your situation is probably not true - there are probably more unattached (and never attached) people around you than you realize. But you won't discover this for several years, so my telling you isn't much comfort right now.
Whether romance, physical intimacy, or sex is involved in the relationship you'd still like to experience the companionship and emotional intimacy. I think that's normal and healthy. The sacred writings of the Hebrews and Christians even state, very early, that people were made to have fulfilling interpersonal relationships. I'll make several suggestions. Evaluate them and decide if they're useful to you. I'll warn you now - it will take a little courage and you may experience some discomfort.
- Proximity. You aren't going to meet many guys in a convent, but you don't have to be a National Hockey League player to be around guys. Get involved in activities that are comfortably co-ed. This might be an interest group like a Kennel Club or the local Historical Society. Or a church. Or take a few college classes. Or even a mixed athletic team, like bowling, tennis, or volleyball. The key is GET INVOLVED: serve on a committee, organize a study group, plan a party, volunteer to make the reminder calls. The whole process will be easier, and quicker, if one of your girlfriends goes with you. Ask her to critique your behavior: Are you too talkative? Too quiet? Too withdrawn? Too bossy?
- Don't think of guy acquaintances as potential dates or relationships. (I KNOW this is hard!) Instead, just become comfortable being around guys, talking with them, working with them. And don't concentrate on guys alone - even women you know have sons, cousins, coworkers for you to meet.
- Don't get obsessive about looks. Look at the couples around you. (I know - you already have! And that's why you're asking this question here.) Not necessarily the couples you went to school with, but rather the couples your parents' age, who have stable, long-term relationships. If you are honest you will see that tall people, short people, fat people, skinny people, curley-haired people, bald people - even smart people and dumb people - are all capable of having fulfilling relationships. Ask yourself, "What did he/she ever see in her/him?" And then - if you're brave enough - pose the same question to the couples themselves. Well, not EXACTLY the same question. A better way to put it is "How did you meet your wife/husband?". Believe it or not, old married people LOVE to answer this question but that's something you're still too young to appreciate.
- Don't try to be what you're not. One of the old philosophers said, "Know thyself.". Don't try to be the life of the party if you're quiet and shy. Don't dress like a super-model if you're short and chubby, or don't like being gawked at. Most folks can spot a phony - and either avoid avoid that person, or try to take advantage of his/her insecurity.
- Let older adults know about your situation. Think of the adults you've had good personal relationships with. These might be aunts or uncles; athletic coaches; special teachers; Scout or Church youth workers; perhaps a neighbor or family friend. Somebody who KNOWS you and you can speak with in confidence. Let this person(s) know how you feel deep inside. Ask for two kinds of suggestions: things you can do to improve the situation, and people you can meet. Folks your age are generally very poor matchmakers: they'll simply try to hook you up with the first unattached person who comes to mind. Older adults, who know your personality and temperament, are much better at it. They recognize qualities and traits that improve compatibility. (Very few young people consider this idea, but it has been rather effective in other cultures down through history.)
My true story: Although I dated (and loved) a girl during the summer after I finished High School she broke up when we were separated at different universities. I went through 4 years of college without a real date, much less a girlfriend. At spring break of my senior year, in the course of conversation with an adult acquaintance, I mentioned that "Girls just avoid me like the plague." and we discussed the situation briefly. Now this "adult acquaintance" was my parents' age. Her daughter was in my High School class; I had been in Scouts and church activities with one of her sons.
But she had a niece . . . Two months later, after college graduation, I had the niece's mail address, and the suggestion "You'd probably enjoy comparing your college experiences.". There was a distance problem, so we wrote to each other - real letters on real paper, sometimes a friendship card or a trinket gift - for three months. It turned out to be a wonderful way for two quiet and shy people to get acquainted. In August I finally met her in person. One year and two weeks later we were married and still are. (I won't say how long that is, but our youngest kid is your age.) Every few years we send flowers to my wife's Aunt Laura on our anniversary, and thank her for introducing us.
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