Keep trying to work on my marriage or just end it and move on once and for all?

A female age 51-59, *achel4646 writes:

My husband and I have been together for 12 years, we have a 9 year old daughter. I am 46 and he is 34. In April 2012, out of the blue my husband asked for a divorce. I knew our relationship had gone bad. I gave up and settled, he started hanging with his friends, fishing alot. He told me he had been facebooking with the one that got away and thought he was in love with her and was no longer in love with me. I asked if he wanted to try to make our marriage work, he said no. The next week together was great, we made love, talked intimately for the first time in years. I thought we were trying. Then he said he was supposed to meet with her and didn't know if he wanted to. I told him to meet with her, knowing that if I said no he would blame me and always wonder what if. We decided to live together but separate, laid down the house rules and went about our business. A week after that, he went out drinking, never came home. In the morning a girl dropped him off, kissed him goodbye and left. I flipped out, he broke the first and most important rule. Never bring a date to the house! I kicked him out that moment! This was not the facebook girl it was someone else. So we were done. Of course there was a few e-mails about his confusion and missing me, and blah, blah, blah. I was moving on, finding myself, reading self help books, crying, feeling lonely, praying alot! You know the broken heart, trying to heal thyself, doing everything right. He on the other hand is dating, going to bars, gets a promotion at work, having the time of his life. Then in August 2012 he e-mails me that he wants me back, he is sorry he didn't work on the marriage and that I seem happy and can tell him to screw off if I want. For some God only knows why reason I didn't tell him to screw off I told him to come over. He said he got rid of the girls in his life and does not want to date anyone but me. Well this put me in crazy mode, I started drinking at the bars and kissing random guys and he said if you want us to work then stop flirting at the bar. So I said okay. Now he wants to see this girl again and he is enjoying his freedom and he is confused again. What the???? So we agreed to date each other and see other people too. We haven't really worked on our communication, nor have we had any counseling, (really need counseling but we cant afford it) I don't know what I want now. Of course I do not trust him and I assume he only wants his cake and to eat it too. He was dating girls his age, (30's) and I feel like an old fool! I have already been married and divorced, usually get into relationships that don't work out and always keep trying and trying to make it work, but it never does. What should I do? Keep trying to work on my marriage or just end it and move on once and for all?

View related questions: at work, divorce, facebook, flirt, kissing, move on

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2012):

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 October 2012):

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