A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now and we've had some great times but i've started to feel as if i'm not ready for a serious relationship and my feeling towards her have changed.Everything feels the same now and nothing changes. She's completely in love with me and i don't know what to do.Maybe my thoughts deceive me and it's just a stage i'm going through but i don't know.I get along with her family really well but i'm not sure if my feelings are the same for her now.She relies on me a lot emotionally as she doesn't really have anyone else to go to and at the moment she's upset with her mum's boyfriend and it's christmas soon. Her birthdays in january 15th and i don't want to upset her by telling her i'm not ready for a serious relationship and my feelings have changed towards her.What am i supposed to do. I said only 2 months ago that i wanted to marry her and be with her forever but now all this is happening.I find other girls attractive and would definitely flirt if i wasn't with her because i used to do it a lot before i went out with her and this is my first proper relationship.She was the first one i've ever made out with and had sex with. I'm only 17 but i don't know what to do.Any advice? I'm unsure about my feelings. one second i'll really love her but when we're apart i keep getting these feelings
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (2 December 2008):
you are perfectly normal for your age
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (1 December 2008):
 I think that you are very wise and mature for your young age. As difficult as this is going to be, I think that you need to come clean with your girlfriend. So right now, you need to decide what to do and how to tell her that your feelings have changed. If you do want to date other girls, I would break it off completely with her. That is the only fair thing for her in order for her to get over you and heal. She won't understand going from talking about marriage to "I'd like to date other girls" so it would be unfair to ask her to "slow things down" and see others. You are both so young, now is the time to try on different relationships and see how they fit. She will get over this, and you shouldn't worry too much about breaking off a commitment if your heart isn't in it. I think that you should do this right away as it's December 1st and the whole holiday thing is coming, as well as her birthday. It's isn't easy to be the person breaking up with another, but if your heart isn't in it, it's the right thing to do. There are lot's of sites that can help you find the right words, but it's not going to be easy. Here's one:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Ending-a-Relationship-Gracefully&id=6672
Best of Luck, Dear.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20  +, writes (1 December 2008):
 These are called fickle feelings.
Weigh out the pros and cons of staying with her.
She shouldn't be relying on you too heavily emotionally as this could lead to codependency. Look up codependency online and learn to set boundaries with her. Maybe she is being clingy with you, and this turns you off or scares you.
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