A
female
age
41-50,
*azzy16
writes:i've been wi my partner for 9 yrs and we have a 5 yr old daughter, i am really insecure even though i am attractive and can attract many men. i jus don't have the confidence to be sexy around him. we have got into a rut an rarely have sex or a laugh together. tried toys, weekends away but it still gets into a rut. tried talking to him bout this but nothing much changes. i have a sister who is gorgeous slim an had a boob job. she is comin to visit soon an am dreading it because his eyes pop out every time he sees her which makes me worse an i worry he will think about her when we have sex
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female
reader, mazzy16 +, writes (30 March 2007):
mazzy16 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthankyou thor i will try that its something we haven't tried and to all the others thankyou also its given me thought and to the lesbian you must be bored to go after men when u don't fancy them i don't honestly think your doing it jus for other women. But i get your point if i don't pull my finger out then some other women will grab him so thanx.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007): wow THOR that sounds cool, I'm going to try that. Thanks friend
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007): Hello girlfriend! You better get your butt out of the sofa and on to the treadmill! Newsflash, if it's not your sister - it could be me! ha ha ha. Just so you know, there are women like me that pray on men with wives that have given up. I'm hot and i'm not afraid to get between you and your man. So again if it's not your sister it could be one of me. So fix yourself & your life. What makes you think you can pick up "many guys" if you can't keep your man satisfied, then what's the point?
HEY NO JUDGING i'm just being honest & hope i can help you! & for the record to those that want to whine, im a lesbian & im just evil like that. But there's always rotten potatoes in a bag. I don't do it to be w/your guy. I'm helping women keep their man. I've never slept w/any of them but you never know there might be some else worst than I.
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A
male
reader, thor +, writes (28 March 2007):
 try not to worry about your sister. sometimes lack of sex can come down to preasure. to mend the loss of sex you should kneel in front of each other, maybe wear something sexy. dont touch each other, observe eachothers body with your eyes. do this for two to three nights. then touch each others face and hair, no sexual parts, out of bounds. after a week start to touch arms and legs and places around sexual parts still not touching them. do this for a week. then you touch his parts dont let him touch down bellow, but dont let him come, stop if you feel he will do this. after a few hours a night turn and go to sleep. he will have all these thoughts in his head, getting aroused and wanting more he will want to explode. final chapter let him touch you all over then go for it. it will be best sex you ever had.
hope this was helpfull to you
thor
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (28 March 2007):
 You have three different issues as I can see.
#1: "i am attractive and can attract many men."
#2: "don't have the confidence to be sexy around him".
#3: "i worry he will think about her when we have sex."
Although I could give separate answers to each of them, I will not do that, and here is why:
Because your partner doesn't understand you as you are, he doesn't treat you the way you like.
There's no need to dig deeper here, as the above issues may be handled just by changing his attitude.
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A
male
reader, home_land  +, writes (28 March 2007):
 hello
there is no need to worry talk to him about that and the sister of my wife she is my sister this what men do and you have to make that clear to him and her .
good luck
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A
female
reader, creamepie  +, writes (28 March 2007):
I've been there done that and back again it's all in what you make it .1. Your mind site has to be right meanining you have to want to do it or it will show and he will react. Make it exciting think about when you first met how it was and tell him that to things change what turned him on then just might not doit know that your older he might want to try new things look at movies and try new positions talk sexy to him (it takes two) rub him role play girl it's so much to do you should never get bored I dont anymore do it in odd places that makes it exciting. I wish you luck on your adventure .
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A
female
reader, Melanne +, writes (28 March 2007):
 Hi it does sound like you have tried a lot of ways to get the sex life going again, but this isn't working. I am wondering if there is an underlying problem that you both need to talk about. If the communication is not there in the marriage then everything else gets out of balance. It sounds as though you need some quality time together. If toys and weekends away don't work then have you thought about marriage counselling? Relate have some counsellors that you could book and go to see. The website is, www.relate.org.uk Relate deal with a whole range of marriage problems including sexual problems.It also sounds as though the trust has gone in your marriage when you talked about your sister you sounded very nervous that your husband would turn to her and find her more attractive. There is an insecurity there that you feel unattractive and I am wondering if your husband is picking up on this.If you do decide to go for marriage counselling then they will look at the roots of the problem rather than just the sexual aspect. I am inclined to think that there is more to your marriage problems than the sex problems.
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