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I've got it all and done it all, so what next!

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Question - (9 December 2013) 16 Answers - (Newest, 10 December 2013)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am faced with a strange dilemma. I am 31 years old, I made all my childhood dreams come true already, I am recently divorced, have no kids because I never wanted them, men fall all over me, I have a healthy lifestyle, steady job, car, a cat, I am lacking nothing in my life... and.... I need new challenges. I have literally achieved things people would not even believe if I listed them here. Well anyway, my dilemma is real, and my question is this: How does a person in my situation go about finding something new to challenge myself with??? I feel that everything in life has become too easy, what else is there?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2013):

If Bill and Melinda Gates can still have purposes in life and things to look forward to despite having it all, then so can you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2013):

Google 'bucket list' and you will find tons of suggestions of things to do :-)

I find it hard to believe that nothing at all interests you.

There's no such thing as having done it all.

Great so you've achieved your childhood dreams, now set some new ones. They don't come to you in your sleep but you take an interest in what's going on around you and pursue whatever speaks to you.

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A female reader, april.garcia41 United States +, writes (10 December 2013):

I think you're lacking something spiritual. it's time to really get in touch with yourself perhaps.

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A male reader, Hnk  United Kingdom +, writes (9 December 2013):

Hnk  agony auntHow about just looking into religions and finding one out for yourself in case you haven't ?

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 December 2013):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthow about training service dogs..... pick a breed that's hard to train... it's quite a challenge to mold a strong willed dog for someone else to use in service.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (9 December 2013):

If you want a challenge, then perhaps some sort of charity work? My girlfriend is in a situation like you, and she has decided to take on some charity work that involves helping young offenders to learn to read. That's a pretty big challenge, I think. Perhaps something like that?

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A female reader, yanna58 United Kingdom +, writes (9 December 2013):

Maybe you should just sit back and relax a little, eventually you'll come up with a new goal/dream. You could just be too overwhelmed at the moment to know what to do.

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (9 December 2013):

CindyCares agony aunt There's a book titled " I could do anything if I only knew what it is " by Barbara Sher. Subtitle : " How to discover what you really want and how to get it ".

Who knows, you may find, if not inspiarion, some suggestions in it...

There's anothet cool book called " The passion test " by Janet Bray Attwood. That too is about discovering your true passion and living a passionate life- of course passion is not just meant in a romantic sense- one can be passionate about art or politics or science or making money... or finding her true self and understanding what she is meant to do and be :)

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 December 2013):

Honeypie agony auntLike others mentioned, volunteering. Do something that isn't about YOU.

Travel is not always recreational. I'm not talking going to a resort and sipping margaritas. I'm talking seeing places you have maybe heard of but have no idea. And then combine that with volunteering perhaps.

I can't imagine being 31 and think I have "done it all". There is ALWAYS more to do, to see, to learn, to be.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2013):

Surely there must still be something you haven't done. Often times I find many a childhood quest that has yet to be fulfilled. Perhaps try looking into your past and see what needs to be refined or accomplished. You may want to meditate on the subject. I suspect your being may be bombarded by what ifs and could haves. Good luck.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2013):

I'm not a stuck up bitch. I'm not even rich, I just was able to achieve everything I ever wanted, through a lot of hardships I might add. I don't ever dream of being rich either. I did say I was divorced, I have not had an easy life. My question is real, and I would appreciate constructive answers not name calling. The best answer I've received so far is about giving back.

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A male reader, justaguy71 Australia +, writes (9 December 2013):

don't take this the wrong way but you sound like a stuck up b***&, go see how the other half live and do something to improve the lives of others. Change career paths and become a doctor and save lives, go to some foreign country and do aid work. Volumteer at pet shelters. Go travel, stay at hostels and meet interesting people. Good luck, I love how you say you have a cat, I think everyone aims for having a cat, lol sorry I just thought it humorous.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (9 December 2013):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntHow about "giving back?".....

Volunteer at a homeless shelter, or a soup kitchen. Mentor a girl whose Mother is a drug addict. Feed the animals and clean cages at a dog/cat shelter....

"Life" consists of more than accumulating "things" and achieving "status".... the size of "who you are" and "who you became" will not show up in your bank statement... and cannot be parked in your garage.... when they plant you six feet down....

Good luck... I think you're asking a great question....

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2013):

Travelling is always great, and try and push your limits (as long as you're keeping safety in mind).

Another thing i would strongly suggest is charity work, take time to find a charity that you'll really be doing something for, and might take something out of you. I don't mean to sound rude but perhaps you're bored because you're a little too comfortable (genuinely not knocking your success-good for you!). Charity work can genuinely be challenging and can sort of be a splash of cold water to the overly comfortable person.

Good luck!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2013):

Travel is recreational, and I've already traveled a bit, not a lot but a bit. I'm talking about transformational challenges, and my dilemma is existential. Challenges to help make me grow maybe? And I don't know what that would be!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 December 2013):

Honeypie agony auntMust be nice :)

Maybe travel? There has to be places in the world you haven't seen?

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