A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:higot a real dilemma! me and my best friends girlfriend have completely fallen for eachother.theyv been going out for 6 years. they started going out the same time as me and my ex. i didnt know her that well when i was with my ex because they really didnt like eachother, they hated eachother well before me and my friend met them both. this meant i didnt get to know her and if i did it would have created rows between me and my ex.anyway when me and my ex broke up it didnt matter so i could talk to her freely and i found that she was nothing as my ex portrayed her. i think my ex was just jealous of her because she is really pretty. my ex was stunning but was insecure and hated the thought of me finding anyone else attractive. back then and even after me and my ex split ive never thought of my friends gf in that way anyway.however, over the last two years me and my friends gf have become really good friends and get along really well. wev become really close, but only as friends, untill recently.everyone has been telling me its ridiculously obvious how much she likes me, but ive thought nothing of it and told people they are ridiculous. however on new years eve we were talking on our own for ages and getting drunk. we started flirting jokingly, but then we started talking about my ex(she was really nasty) and we were saying how me and her are more suited and that my ex and her bf are more suited. we started saying how we should have met eachother instead etc....later that night a girl who knows us both said to me its obvious u love eachother, which shocked me.its obvious we are falling for eachother and i dont know what to do. i dont want to hurt my friend so i dont think its possible for us to actually get together, but its gonna be weird going through all our lives maybe thinking we should be together.any advice?
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best friend, broke up, drunk, flirt, insecure, jealous, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): It's happened to me too recently. To make things worse is that they even have kids. I got to know my friends girlfriend lately and found out we have a lot in common.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Hi. I'm kind of in a similar situation. I met one of my best friends and her boyfriend at the same time so they've always been a couple to me (think they've been together about 3 years) Me and him have always got on really well. We always chat about anything and are really good friends. Last night while we were still up and everyone else was asleep i had what can only be described as a thunderbolt moment. As we were sitting talking he took my hand and all of a sudden i couldnt think of anyone i wanted to be with more than him. We stayed up the whole night talking and i kissed him. I feel so bad about myself its the worst thing iv ever done. I cant believe i betrayed my friend like that. I havent been able to stop thinking about him since but i cant do anything about it. I just cant hurt my friend. So i guess thats my punishment- i have these deep feelings for him and cant get him out of my head, but il never be able to kiss or hug him again. I hope that will get better in time. But to answer ur question it all comes down to what ur willing to give up. If u decide to get together with her, ur in for a long hard fight with yourself and ur best friend. Some things just arent worth pursuing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): this is a no go area unless you want to lose your friend and a strong possibility the girl involved
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