A
female
age
26-29,
*tarrgrl103
writes:so my bf and i have been together for over a month and he is a little less than 3 years older than me. he is a juinor in highschool and i am a freshman. he has never said i love you, and we talk on the phone alot, and i get to see him about once every other week (he and i live about 1.5 hours away.) he hasnt told me i love you yet, and rarely ever gives me a compliment or says you're pretty or anything. some of my friends say that he is using me but i dont believe them. do you think he is using me? and how long does it usually take a guy to say i love you?
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female
reader, iSmil3y +, writes (7 January 2009):
Well, it all depends. He might not exactly love you yet. There's a BIG Difference between like and love, and "In Love". He might be using you but just because he doesn't tell you he loves you or tells you that you're pretty, doesn't really mean he's using you. Or if you really love him, you could tell him first and see what he says back. That's what I did, after 2 weeks, I told my boyfriend that I loved him and he said it right back and I told him that I was serious too, just to make sure he knew I meant it. But, anyway, just relax and give it time. He might be shy? And he could also still just really like you. It sometimes takes a guy, a long time to love someone. Give it time, you guys haven't been dating very long.
A
male
reader, ggunit  +, writes (7 January 2009):
well, for me it was love at first site. i met her when i was on holiday. when i got back to my country, i packed up and went to hers.
we have been together for 2 years now. i said i love you within a week.
i don't think he will end up saying it anytime soon. if he doesn't seem crazy for you. like sms'ing you all night long, even though you are in bed and the lights are off. or sending you nice things when you wake up. then i think he might just be with you for dodgy reasons.
if he doesn't make an effort to be with you, then ditch him!!! a girl will fall out of love with a guy if he doesn't make her feel special, and it will hapen to you if he isn't bothered.
hope this helps
GGunit
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Firstly, Not very long, you guys are still pretty young maybe he's inexperienced and never felt true love yet either. Anyway... let it develop.
I find it strange that a bf can't say nice complimentary things to his gf and as 'TasteofIndia' said, heaps of guys would be out there willing to do that to his girl. dont give him all your heart just yeat its only been a month be a little cautiuos id hate to see you get hurt.
The important factor to consider is time. If you've only been dating for two weeks or a month, chances are it's still lust. There is no set time period to graduate from lust to love, but it's only natural to be crazy about someone when you first start dating.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): took my boyfriend 9 months to admit he was in love with me but has yet to actually say "i love you" to my face and its been 13 months now - and yes i am getting annoyed lol
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Me and my fella said "I love you's" after about 3 months. Every couple is different and goes at their own pace. Whether or not he's using you, well... for what, exactly? I think he's not the best boyfriend in the universe if he's so cold with compliments... there are plenty of guys who will be willing to vocalize their appreciation for a foxy lady like you
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A
female
reader, anna*belle  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 I can't tell you if he's using you or not, but my latest boyfriend didn't say I love you until we had been together for about 4 months. Don't worry too much about if he says it yet or not, he will say it when the time is right :)
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