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I've developed feelings for this guy who is 2 years older!

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2017) 4 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2017)
A female Singapore age 16-17, anonymous writes:

i met this guy 2 years ago and i developed feelings for him since we met to do projects quite often. he is 2 years older than me so he was always mentoring me. like i said, i developed feelings for him but recently i don't feel anything for him. he tries to spend more time with me by asking me out to discuss projects (which eventually turns into casual talks). he also trusts me with his phone and i have seen his scheldues and texts(including those with girls), i don't know if he meant for me to see it or not. i don't know if this means if he likes me or not considering that he has many other female friends. what should i do?

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (13 November 2017):

femmenoir agony auntYou don't feel anything for this guy anymore, plus you are still underage and too young to be dating, getting emotionally involved with a guy.

This guy is 2 years older and at your current age, this is quite an age gap and he'd be more into the dating game and even kissing, plus other things.

He'll be looking for a more solid relationship and something that may include intimacy and at your age, this should not happen.

You are underage and i would not recommend that you pursue any young man at all, at this stage of your life.

Just enjoy being a young teen and stay clear of relationships, UNTIL you're old/mature enough to handle it and UNTIL it's actually legal for you to do so.

You have plenty of time ahead for a relationship, so try not to worry.

Make your education and your friendships the number one priority, not some guy that is older than you and one that you're not even sincerely interested in.

By the way, you wrote in a few days ago regarding this guy, as i remember responding to your question.

Try not to worry ongoingly and focus on more important matters.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (13 November 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntHi OP,

Look you mention that your feelings have changed therefore I would suggest listening to yourself and going with how you feel. It does sound like he is friendly but there is nothing in your post that suggests he likes you any more as a friend. Looking at your age bracket two years off a gap is a lot when you are so young, and in fact you are still underage so he could get in trouble even if something did happen between you both.

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (11 November 2017):

Dionee' agony auntBecause of your age, I wouldn´t suggest getting involved with this guy. Also, since you´re no longer interested in him in that way anymore, I wouldn´t suggest going ahead with anything that you don´t want anyway. I think that you´re young and have a whole lot of living to do before even thinking about dating. Trust me, one day, you will appreciate having been given this advice.

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (10 November 2017):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntAs you have admitted your feelings have changed and you no longer have feelings for him, I wouldn't worry too much about what anything means. Be friends with him if you want but leave it at that.

At your age it is normal for your feelings to change rapidly and frequently. Don't feel you owe him anything just because he might like YOU. MANY boys will like you as you mature. It does not mean you have to do anything about it, except enjoy it.

Also you are 13-15, which means a lad 2 years older is probably looking for a very different relationship to what you would be ready for. Enjoy your young teen years and don't worry too much about relationships. You have the rest of your life to explore them. (How I wish someone had given ME that advice at your age!)

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