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What does his taste in porn say about what he's actually fantasizing about?

Tagged as: Pornography<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2017) 9 Answers - (Newest, 13 November 2017)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Would love some male opinions on a porn question....

My husband watches "cheating wife" porn. The "subject" confuses me. Is it a fantasy about cheating with another married woman, or a fantasy about his wife (me) cheating with someone, ie: cuckolding??

View related questions: married woman, porn

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada + , writes (13 November 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt"It's NOT power at all wheh women are viewed as purely physical and strippers and porn stars are seen as something desirable ."

Mr dear...I am sorry that some guy has hurt you so bad.

Really...and Honestly...men are not what you think they are.

There many men who thing of women a certain way...after being hurt by them.

Here is my personal email... [email address blocked]'s talk. I have ear like and elephant.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2017):

It's NOT power at all wheh women are viewed as purely physical and strippers and porn stars are seen as something desirable . When men start valuing women as PEOPLe and as the unique individuals we are instead of just our bodies ? That is when we will truly have power !!!

That's what men fail to understand

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada + , writes (11 November 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt"Brown wolf, then why should women bother with men if all they are going to do is fantasies about being with someone else anyway ? Sounds like a total lose lose for women."

Response...

How is it a lose lose for women?? He is not fantasizing about men. What most women FAIL to realize ( and I say this all the time) is how much power women have over men. If you truly understood how that power works, porn, strip clubs, hookers, and all other male entertainment would not exist. men would be running home to their lovers...Hint...I said lovers...not wife.

Secret...The only time the word wife should be used, is when your husband is telling someone else about you. As in..."That's wife over there."

At home...you should be his lover, and he will be exactly where you want him.

Most men do not realize that women need to be loved in order to have sex. Most women do not realize that sex is what keeps a man interested in give the love continuously. Somewhere along the way, we believe a ring on the hand was it. Once married all will be okay. No more need to flirt, to act like two young animals in heat...just go about your day, and all will be okay...NOPE! LOVERS you should always be...Husband and wife to the outside world.

A stripper can make a man give her his whole pay cheque...why? Because she understands how to use the power she has over her male droolers.

Both men and women forget their role after a few years of marriage. Add kids, and those roles grow even further apart.

WOMEN fantasize about a husband who comes into her crazy world and sweep her off her feet. Make her feel sexy, loved, like she is most important thing is his world. If her husband does not provide what she needs, distance is created in their relationship...This distance is where BOTH man and woman may start looking for someone or something else to give them what they need.

The op's husband is clearly missing something in the relationship. So is the OP. She is missing her husband's love and affection, and he is missing from her whatever it is or was that made him give her that love and affection.

NO ONE fantasizes about what the already have. If you were a millionaire, you would not fantasize about what it would be like to be a millionaire.

The op's husband mind has gone wondering...I could ask...What has she done to bring his mind back to fantasizing about her??

Sure...The easiest thing is to be mad, feel unwanted, and depressed. But let me ask this...Is she not a woman? Does she not have the same sex appeal as any woman in porn? If yes...Is she using it?

This is not a wife blame game. But men chase women. She is said woman...what is she giving him to chase?

Men have gone to war over women. Even ISIS promise their men 72 virgins in their heaven for fighting. NOT Money...Not a big house...Not gold...Not ever lasting life...No...women. That is how much power you have over us...but fail to see it.

Porn is for those would rather find the easy way out, instead of fixing their issues, and getting what they need from their partner.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2017):

Brown wolf, then why should women bother with men if all they are going to do is fantasies about being with someone else anyway ? Sounds like a total lose lose for women.

LDoez I think we are clearly best off using and leaving them. Listen to what men say , it's from the horse on mouth . No man will ever be satisfied with any one woman or feel the same way women do about men so don't bother trying to have a relationship

To men we are just interchangeable objects to be used it seems

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada + , writes (10 November 2017):

BrownWolf agony aunt

This is mostly due to the excitement or adrenaline rush that comes with cheating. He may not want to cheat, but he may be feeding the rush of getting caught.

All men...Yes...ALL MEN... love and live for the thrill of the chase. To somehow finally talking a woman into a quickie. Then the rush and excitement of getting it done and not getting caught.

Question would be...How exciting is your own sex life?

Most people do not cheat if they have what the need. Most cheat because their relationship is missing something, so they go find it somewhere else. Some use porn, others actually go find it.

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A male reader, Garbo United States + , writes (10 November 2017):

Garbo agony aunt"Cheating wife" is the second most popular porn category according to some major studies. It is wide ranging category that includes wife cheating with a woman or another man. Since there is more than 2 people, there is a wide range of characters that a viewer can identify with or get aroused by. Cuckholding is a specific subset of this category where a wife is offered by a husband to another man so the husband can view the sex.

There are wide reasons for the appeal and your husband can be all sorts of characters in these unreal scenarios. He could be the guy offering you for sex to another man, which you seem to assume, but the arousal could be that he maybe in the role of a guy who gives it to the wife... that is, he maybe getting off on the idea that some dude is soliciting him to do his wife and that could have myriad of triggers such as she picked him, lottery pick, husband picked him, was purchased... so arousal triggers in these scenarios can be numerous.

Sure that some men are specific where they fantasize days on end of pawning off his wife to another man so he can either take part or just watch. Some of these want to go through these fantasizes and often post here with delusions that they will forever be happy if they try it.

Therefore, it is impossible to say what exactly does that porn type say about your husband because possibilities are many. You may want to ask him.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2017):

It is just a fantasy and these porn films are made in such a way to feed on to it. Don't read too much into it.

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A female reader, YouWish United States + , writes (10 November 2017):

YouWish agony auntWhile fantasy is just fantasy and not necessarily what they want in real life, "cheating wife" 95% of the time is a "cuckold" fantasy. Just look on any major city's Craigslist, and you'll see many couples requesting someone to have sex with the wife while the husband watches. I don't have a clue why cuckold fantasies are so common, but they are.

But I'm with Honeypie -- the definitive answer will come from none other than your husband.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (10 November 2017):

Honeypie agony auntCould be either - but... that doesn't mean he wants to play it out in reality. Maybe it's more in the line of a VERY "naughty" wife?

However, if you want to know... ASK him?

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