A
female
age
30-35,
*arcode12
writes:I had an abortion last year march (please do not jugde me). It was a tough decision. As my boyfriend and I came from a strict family, besides I have just ended by diploma, I was jobless and my boyfriend was in the army serving the nation. There was no way that we can raise up a child. I have always felt insecured that he's gonna leave me until we finally got engaged this May.Ever since the abortion I changed so much. I’m always temperamental. I very short-tempered and dominant. I lost all my friends because of that. Even now I seem to treat my fiancé like crap. I keep venting all my anger on him and say that I’ll change for the better but I never did. I’m also this way to my parents and siblings. I feel so shitty :(I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I seem to push away everyone in my life. I have nobody in my life now. I wonder why did I change so much? Was it the abortion? How do I get rid of this angry and dominant me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2013): You need to see a therapist, they will help you identify and resolve your anger. You do need support for your abortion but your bf isn't able to give you that support. That's why you need to see a therapist. They will give you the support you need. You may also need to join a support group. Please look for abortion support groups either online or in your area. You need to reach out to others for help and emotional support, not your boyfriend since he has shown he cant give you that now (he may be going through his own issues by himself). You did good by coming here for advice. Now you need more specific tailored help in the form of seeing a therapist. Please see a therapist before you drive away your boyfriend, it's only a matter of time before he mentally breaks up with you even if he hasn't actually done it in person yet. Every time you lash out at someone you are killing your relationship with them a little bit at a time. It accumulates until they have had enough and distance themselves from you like your friends. Your bf will do this too if you keep on like this. Or he may just find another woman who doesn't attack him. Don't wait another day. Get help now.
A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit  +, writes (12 September 2013):
 Your fiancé's attitude isn't wrong and it's not that he doesn't care about you and love you.
You have depression and unless you seek help, it will systematically destroy you and your relationship.
Please go and see your GP immediately and get help now!
You will start to feel better and life will go back to normality but you have some work to do first.
Please seek help.
AB x
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A
female
reader, barcode12 +, writes (12 September 2013):
barcode12 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I tried opening up to my fiancé countless times and he don't want to talk about it. He wants me to move on from it. The only one who said he wants to be there for me no matter what doesn't want to face it with me. I feel so alone. I'm so tired... I wish I can sleep forever.. :(
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (12 September 2013):
 I think its the guilt you feel and you are taking it out on everyone around you. You ask us not to judge you and you go to detail to explain the abortion. If you continue this way you will drive your fiancé away. I suggest you get counselling. The positive side is you have identified your problem and you want to change it, work on it. Try talking also to your fiancé and let you emotions out as you may have bottled up too much and your temper is the outlet.
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A
female
reader, Aunty Babbit +, writes (11 September 2013):
I'm not going to judge you, you made a brave decision that was right for you at that time.
I have supported many women through termination and I think you have unresolved guilt about your termination. They should have offered you counselling, have you had any?
You do not have to justify your reasons for having a termination to anyone but you're feeling the need to do so and I think this is because you're still trying to convince yourself that you did the right thing and that you are not a bad person.
Does your fiancé know about the termination? Did he support you?
I don't need the answers but you really do need to talk to someone about this and I would suggest a professional counsellor.
And for the record, my darling, you're not a bad person and you did what you had to do for your own sake and the future welfare of the child.
Please talk to someone and please, please forgive yourself.
I hope this helps AB x
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