A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm getting married later on this year; abroad in Switzerland (my partner is from there).Now I have a couple of my friends coming over for the wedding from the UK- which I'm happy about with the exception of 1 person... Basically this friend of mine can't seem to understand that whilst we are abroad I'll be too busy sorting out my wedding to find the time to take her out.I’m finding her to be a bit clingy and it's irritating me! I'm flying out a week before and when she found out she seemed put out as she assumed we'd fly over together. She is unable to come a week before due to work so is flying out at a later date.She then kept saying how she wanted me to take her sight-seeing and shopping etc...and I have explained to her that I won't have time to do that but as a couple of other girls (who she knows) are coming from the uk she can go with them. But in the evenings I will be more than happy for us all to go out.My family and I will be staying in an empty house, owned by my fiancé's family. It just about fits us all in but now my friend assumed she was going to stay there to. There is no room to accommodate her. I clearly stated in the invites and have discussed with her previously that she and my other friends would need to make their own arrangements in a hotel nearby- I even printed out the hotel info and gave it to them!Then today was the final straw... She said she wants me to do her hair for the wedding!I'm not a hairdresser but she likes how I style her hair when we go out but how on earth will I be able to do her hair when I’m going to be a nervous wreck and will need time for myself?? I appreciate she is coming overland will be with me on the day but how can she not realise that organising a wedding is stressful enough (she is married herself) without her demanding things from me? I actually don't want her to come.I’ve been polite to her and it didn't work and then I was direct and she still isn't backing off!! Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2013): This is a very childish behavour of her. If you already told her and she still doesn't get it, I don't know what else you can do, just keep saying , no, to her
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 April 2013):
 Honestly, and you can call me mean I would uninvite her if she can't comprehend that YOUR wedding is about YOU and your new husband - NOT her going on holiday.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 April 2013):
 She is completely unreasonable and it is time you put your foot down. This is YOUR special day. She cannot stay at your home. She will need to book a hairdresser herself. In the two weeks before the wedding you will be utterly busy. You do not and will not have time to nursemaid her.
In the four weeks after the wedding there is the honeymoon time with your husband and settling into your new home.
If she cannot handle that then best she reconsider whether she wants to come to YOUR wedding or not.
You will need to be firm with her and you will need to make sure that she does not try to manipulate the situation. If she gets offended then so be it. If she becomes unreasonable finish the conversation and let her know you are busy. Too busy to run after her.
And trust me in the last seven days before the wedding you will really need your beauty sleep each night so that you sparkle on the wedding day and so that you look fresh and glowing on your SPECIAL day that is YOUR day.
I don't think I've ever heard of a more unreasonable guest where she is seeking to monopolise your time at a time where you should be supported, not undermined.
She is an adult like you. If coming to your wedding and amusing herself in the time before and after the wedding is too much for her then perhaps it would be better if she did not attend the wedding. You do not need to be surrounded by tantrums like this.
And she is married herself? Goodness where is her empathy? With friends like her who needs a enemy? You will need to be very firm with her and if she acts up as a result and tries to ruin your day you would be within your rights to be as distant as possible on the day. Surely her own husband could escourt her around the sights? Or is he staying behind at home and looking forward to a break from her very demanding nature?
A wedding day is all about the COUPLE getting married and showing them support for their future together.
It is not about nurse-maiding a far too demanding guest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2013): She is insecure and is testing you to determine her "worth"
It could be she's scared of losing you.
Either way, her behavior is unacceptable. Tell her you need help and not more work, responsibility and drama. If she is so "thick" and doesn't understand plain English, then perhaps you can ask a common friend for help. If that doesn't work perhaps speak with her husband?
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