A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok so this guy I was dating broke up with me a couple weeks ago. I was crushed because I did like him although I never thought of him as a marriage material. Our personalities were clashing and I think he just got fed up, which is why he chose to end it. It's been a couple weeks now and although I told him I didnt want to see him again as friends, he continues to text me and to initiate conversations on FB, which is not going very well as we still clash. In our last txt conversation, he kind of implied that he was still into me sexually and wanted to get together. I have to say I've had the same thoughts and missed this aspect of being with him.What should I do? Part of me wants to go for it because I am dying to kiss him, touch him and feel him close to me but another part is worried that he will think he can just do anything he wants with me (like break up but still have sex with me). Does going from dating to FB ever work out?
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female
reader, Sweety Pie  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 Not unless your prepared for just sex. At the time its brilliant but as soon as your apart you'll just be paranoid and worried that he's with someone else, which he's perfectly within his right to do. And it always ends up on the guys terms. Unfortunatly. And the longer your in it for the harder it is to get out.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2010): Yeah of course it works it out, all your differences will fade away, you'll fall truly in love and live happily ever after.
FWB's is perfect, it always leads to both parties being wholly satisfied with the arrangement because it means you can have sex with a person who you don't get on with, have no possible future in a relationship with, you can feel like someones sex toy, you don't need to go out find love in someone that's right for you and couldn't anyway because fwb status means you can't truly move on from a person you can't be with, you get to hold to that warm feeling of pointless hope that maybe things will work out as long as you can hold him and be together physically. You get just enough of him to kepp you hanging on even though it will never be enough for you. You will miss other opportunities with guys that might actually be good for you because you'll never feel ready as you won't be over this guy as long as remain physically connected to him. You get to put your love life on hold struggling with your feelings and constantly wondering if you made the right choice or not all the while, love, youth and true satisfaction are outside of your reach.
Yeah FWB relationships are awesome if you all of these things especially the part of being stuck in love with someone you can't be with but can't let go of either, that's the best! Even though technically it's a complete step backwards in terms of relationships at least you get kiss him right? It's awesome!
The only reason you shouldn't get into a relationship like this is if you don't want to feel any of those things. But that's just silly talk, everyone wants those things. Who the hell wants true love with someone you're compatible with when you can just hang off someone you're not, based solely on physicality but unable to emotionally connect with anyone else because you can't move on. It's great!
What kind of fool cuts of contact so they can move on from someone and make a fresh start with someone else? I mean come on, being stuck in a dead end, non compatible relationship growing ever more lonely by the day with someone is the greatest thing ever!!!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 Never .
At least if either one still has feelings .
You think that you'd be content with just the feeling kissing touching part because it's better than nothing, but it's not. Pretty soon you'd be tormented by jealousy , anger ,resentment and loss of self confidence.
It's gonna be ugly- spare yourself the trouble and move on.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (13 November 2010):
 No, it doesn't. You clearly still have feelings for him, but that may not be the case on his side. At this point he's looking to use you for his own benefit, but I'm guessing you want to sleep with him because you're still emotionally attached. A FWB arrangement is only going to keep you from moving on.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 November 2010):
 No it doesnt work out hun, because sex is really intimate and its never going to be just sex, maybe for him it will be but you will eventually want that closeness and it wont happen you will just feel used and it will upset you. It also sends out a message that he can have sex with you without any of the strings attached. dont let yourself be used because it will just cause you to go in to a depression if you start liking him again and he is using you it will make you feel like crap and it will rip you up inside and you wont let go of it because you will hope that in time he will want to get back with you but he wont because he is getting all that he wants. Go and look for a guy that wants a relationship with you.
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