A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay I've never done this before and don't know where to even begin. The other night I did something stupid and went through my boyfriends msgs on facebook. We've been together for just over 5 weeks. We have just started renting a property in both our names on contract. We moved in together because we both agreed.it felt natural and its strange. He says he loves me and would never hurt me. He also says he is the most honest guy I would ever meet. I'm meeting his parents for the first time in 4 days and were also going on holiday together in august. Anyway I found msgs to and from his ex on facebook. Saying he still loves her and that he will get her back whether its now or in 20yrs. Also calling her his fiance and asking what colour the bridesmaids dresses are going to be!!! What got me is she said "go f*@$ her, marry her, anything you want" (her being me) his reply was "I don't want to f@ and # her, marry her or anything else with anyone other than you" I cried my eyes out and it broke my heart. I truly love him and don't want to loose him. She is currently out the country but is returning shortly. They haven't spoken since 25th of this month. I can't confront him, I just can't. Please give me advice. I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, malletchick76  +, writes (3 August 2012):
 Kick him to the curb. You'll find someone else who isn't such a wimp to tell the truth and be a man of substance.
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (30 July 2012):
 You cannot trust this man. I don't care what excuse he gives you, or how much he says he loves you, he doesn't. If he did, he would not be communicating with anyone in this manner. Do not continue living with him. In fact, I would pack my bags today and find a different place to live. Even if it is with family or a friend until you can get your own place.
I understand how you feel, but do you honestly want to stay with someone who is trying to get back with his ex behind your back? He's using you.
Even if you do confront him, make sure you prepare yourself for a lot of excuses and lies...and don't get sucked back into the relationship. I can understand why this broke your heart, but you can't stick around for more.
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A
female
reader, Kittykatt988  +, writes (30 July 2012):
5 weeks is so short and he's already emotionally cheating I'd say cut your loses and leave him and find someone who loves you for you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2012): If you can't confront him then you need to cancel your holiday and to to the agents for he property and tell them you are leaving the home and the tenancy will be for him only. You can't begin a life with this man knowing all those things.
If he asks why you are leaving, everything is perfect blah blah blah then I think you should just tell him you know he loves his ex and you are not being with someone who has feelings for someone else. It's not good going through partners messages etc... but lucky for you it showed he is not the honest, great guy you though he was.
5 weeks is not enough time to fully know someone and committing to living with them in such a short space of time is never a great idea. For a small percentage of people these relationships work but not for everyone. I am sorry you have had to find these things out about him but isn't it better after 5 weeks instead of 5 months or even 5 years.
Protect yourself from even more pain and heartache by not being with him anymore. You deserve better than being someone he settles for while waiting for his ex xx
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