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Isn't this a little too serious a little too fast?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Long distance, Teenage, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 June 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 10 June 2011)
A age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My girlfriend freaks out every time someone comments on my photos on fb or writes on my wall. We've only been dating for about a week but whenever someone writes something on my wall or on a photo she panics and starts questioning me about it. She lives in Wales and I live in England so we're a LDR so I can understand a odd thought about 'what if she finds someone else' but one week is a bit early to be panicking that much isn't it? She keeps ending up in tears and I don't know why.

To make it worse my ex added her on fb and told her she was my ex but we're still friends so now she's been in tears all over again.

I'd like a serious relaitonship but isn't this a little too serious a little too fast? Any advice, comments or experiences would be greatly appreciated as always. Thanks guys

View related questions: my ex

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A female reader, AuntyAlexxmo United Kingdom +, writes (10 June 2011):

AuntyAlexxmo agony auntHave you talked to her about how you feel, or are you just going to end it because if so atleast tell her why so maybe she can not do it again with another relationship.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks guys, I really like her but I suppose you're right, she's too serious and isn't cut out for an LDR with me. Her lack of trust is a bit irritating and I understand that she has been cheated on before so I understand why she is worried but not letting me comment on my friends pictures is pushing it a bit too far. So thank you

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2011):

angelDlite agony auntooh, you are gonna have a tough time with this girl! she obviously has major trust issues and will constantly be looking for and demanding reassurance from you. its up to you if you want to sign up for that! she should be on her VERY BEST BEHAVIOUR right now, especially in the first week - NOT throwing histrionics every time a girl appears. this is the curse of facebook though - it just gives people another thing to worry about!

if this girl is so insecure i think its in her best interests to not have an LDR. she would be happier with a partner that she can see more (and keep an eye on)

not a good prognosis i think, sorry

x

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (9 June 2011):

angelDlite agony auntooh, you are gonna have a tough time with this girl! she obviously has major trust issues and will constantly be looking for and demanding reassurance from you. its up to you if you want to sign up for that! she should be on her VERY BEST BEHAVIOUR right now, especially in the first week - NOT throwing histrionics every time a girl appears. this is the curse of facebook though - it just gives people another thing to worry about!

if this girl is so insecure i think its in her best interests to not have an LDR. she would be happier with a boyfriend that she can see more (and keep an eye on)

not a good prognosis i think, sorry

x

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A female reader, adamantine Australia +, writes (8 June 2011):

adamantine agony auntYeah it is quite serious... I don't think you should be dating her. She doesn't seem ready to be in this type of relationship. Maybe be her friend and give her time, but don't be "official" until she can learn to grow up a little bit and build her trust in you.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (8 June 2011):

Honeypie agony auntAll that drama after 1 week? Holy Moly! Yeah, I think it's a tad nuts.

I don't see this getting any better.

However, I think it's a little un-cool of an ex to friend request her so soon.

She seems a little too "emotional" and just plain insecure.

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A male reader, Drew21 Canada +, writes (8 June 2011):

Drew21 agony auntYeah, i have to say there are some major red flags.

That sounds like someone with some emotional baggage. I would talk to her about it. Maybe she has been cheated on before?

I had a girlfriend like that. She was going through some issues with her parents divorcing, and anytime she came over to my place she would flip out on me, insisting she could smell another girl's perfume in my bed.

Talk to her about it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (8 June 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntyeah big red flags...

LDRs are hard. They are hard no matter what age you are I'm 51, we live 2 hours apart by car and see each other very very very often... it's still insanely HARD... AND to be a teenager and be in an LDR is doubly hard.

have you guys even met face to face??? if not, maybe it's just better to be friends and not label it boyfriend and girlfriend?

after a week you should still be LIFE is perfect... if she's going to be so insecure from day one, it will only get worse.

perhaps she is not cut out for an LDR and is too needy emotionally to be able to make it work.

You could talk to her about it...

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A female reader, AuntyAlexxmo United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2011):

AuntyAlexxmo agony auntThats a hell of a lot very fast darling.!

She clearly has some problems with trust and insecurity about being cheated on that were created along time before you came along.

You need to tell her that you are not going to cheat on her and she needs to let you live your life, talk to people and be able to know you arent cheating, if you talk to her and she does not change maybe you should rethink this relationship as if she is doing this after such a sort time it is likely only to get worse over time.

Remind her of the so true saying, paranoia will annoy her, and it is so true, she will end up pushing you away.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011):

Not too serious, too jealous and controlling. Escape now.

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