Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2011): It's common to have pain, and it can be very frustrating. My biggest suggestion is to make sure there is a lot of lubrication. Friction could be the cause of your pain. If you are having q big problem with it, do not be embarrassed to go to a gynecologist and ask for help. Even a nurse that you know would work. They are trained to deal with these situations, and you shouldn't be embarrassed. I am 15 years old and I go to an OB/GYN yearly for checkups. At first, it sucked. It seemed very wrong having someone around my private area without any sexual intent. As you become comfortable with your doctor, this will become easier, but remember, they are trained for this.
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female
reader, sammy1986  +, writes (8 July 2011):
your friends don,t have to know what your going to the doctors for or that your even going, and the doctor will not laugh at you they are there to help you and everyhing you tell them is 100% confidential
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 Why would your friends make fun of you? You don't have to tell them why you're going just tell them to bugger off if they pry or make something up.
I can't imagine any circumstance where a doctor would laugh at someone coming in for pain. They are professionals and see everything you can think of. They wouldn't even think twice about someone answering that they were a virgin. You don't have to tell them it hurts because you were masturbating, you can just say it hurts when you try to put in a tampon/clenches and that's why you were sticking fingers up in there. They know almost everyone masturbates, they're not going to judge you for it.
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (7 July 2011):
For a start, it doesn't matter what your friends think of you. Why would they know what you are going to the doctor for anyway? You can easily make up some sort of excuse if they have to know that you have a doctor's appt.
Secondly, the doctor will in no way think less of you if you go to see them with this problem. You can always ask to see a female doctor if you are worried. It is their job to help people and they won't have any reason to laugh at you whatsoever. The are professionals who are trained to deal with sensitive issues.
Make an appt to see a doctor and get to the bottom of the problem. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (7 July 2011):
For a start, it doesn't matter what your friends think of you. Why would they know what you are going to the doctor for anyway? You can easily make up some sort of excuse if they have to know that you have a doctor's appt.
Secondly, the doctor will in no way think less of you if you go to see them with this problem. You can always ask to see a female doctor if you are worried. It is their job to help people and they won't have any reason to laugh at you whatsoever. The are professionals who are trained to deal with sensitive issues.
Make an appt to see a doctor and get to the bottom of the problem. Good luck!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 July 2011):
 the doctor will not laugh. or make fun of you
time for a gyn exam and total honesty
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A
female
reader, ashleigh92 +, writes (7 July 2011):
ashleigh92 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys ... no i arnt use tampons carnt get them up ... also i did 'prep ' my self i wasn't dry and i dernt go to a doctor as i have no friends who know i'm a virgin or anything plus would the doctor think less of me or laugh ??? xx
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 July 2011):
Well normally I'd say that it does hurt if you just try to stick things in your vagina without any "prep." I think if most women just tried putting their fingers in it would burn a bit and feel pretty uncomfortable. You need to get turned on first by touching elsewhere (clitoris, breasts, etc...) and it helps a lot of people to fantasize. Then once you're fairly turned on you can put in your fingers, though the vast majority of women orgasm from clitoral stimulation not vaginal penetration.
However, this doesn't sound typical. There is a rare condition where a woman's vaginal muscles will clench up in an extremely painful way. Pain to the point of tears is not normal and you should go see a doctor.
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female
reader, Battista +, writes (7 July 2011):
I personally don't think this is normal. If you are in so much pain that you are in tears when trying to insert even half your own finger then I strongly suggest you see a doctor. They will be able to give you some proper qualified advice. Out of interest, do you ever use tampons?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): does it hurt when you use a tampon?
it could hurt because you're too dry. the friction causes pain. if you're sufficiently aroused then you'll be moist there, and then your finger (or his) will slide in easier.
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A
female
reader, sammy1986 +, writes (7 July 2011):
only have sex when you are completely ready it will be a lot easier when a man does it as you should be really relaxed with him make sure you kiss and cuddle a lot before he attempts to finger you and once you are not a virgin anymore your body will lubricate it self so you shouldnt have any problems anymore
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): Its normal because you are still a virgin . It hurts in the beginning so you have to take it slow but not so slow and its also better if your bf does it ,that way youfocus on ur self and on him instead of the pain .NOw if the pain is too unbearable then maybe u should consult a doctor because there have been cases where intercourse is painful for some girls. Good luck(:
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (7 July 2011):
 What happens when your boyfriend fingers you? Have you guys ever attempted to have sex yet? If so what was the outcome? Maybe you are just hitting the barrier of your hymen when you attempted to do it to yourself. Or maybe you were nervous and too dry. In which case you should be ok once you are no longer a virgin.
But if ever attempt to even insert a finger results in extreme pain then I would suggest that you consult an OB-GYN and have a physical to discover the problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): God im with you! im 16 and a virgin and ive tried fingering myself and i can only get 1 finger in! and it doesnt even feel good. im only sensitive to others touch. 2 fingers hurt ): Its normal 3
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