A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, this is not really a personal question but I'd like to hear some opinions. It is regarding the recent celebrity nude pictures scandal. After seeing the pics I find myself questioning what is normal and acceptable in relationships(I've never had a boyfriend). There are pics of a famous actress (who is considered a nice, decent girl) with her face covered in semen. Not only did she allow a man to do that to her, but she also allowed him to take a picture and she chose to keep the picture. It makes me wonder, do all women do that? I used to think it was something only the nastiest porn stars would do. But now I don't know what to think any more. Are all the people who seem decent and good, really that nasty in the privacy of their own home? I would never, ever let a guy do that to me, I find it degrading and humiliating. Does being in a loving, happy relationship also mean having a guy ejaculate on your face? If it does, I'd rather be alone forever.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2014): I think the nasty porn you are thinking of is called bukkakae,in those films multiple men ejaculate over the woman and no,not many everyday people do that,only the kinkiest types who are into swinging and all that.However many couples do finish their lovemaking with a "facial".It is very common for guys to ask and quite a few girls do allow it from what I've heard but it's less common than girls who simply allow blowjobs.It does seem to be more common than anal sex though.I think most girls give blowjobs these days,most of my friends admit to it anyway and it does seem to be getting less taboo.That said,You absolutely will not have to do "facials" in order to keep a boyfriend,most men will not expect you to,even if they ask.Plenty of girls do find it disrespectful or just gross.Then again,what you are comfortable with may change as you get older and more experienced anyway.I personally do allow my boyfriend to do that to me.I did used to find it degrading though-previous boyfriends asked me and I wouldn't let them and the first time he did it he just pulled out and did it without warning and I actually cried!He wondered what I was making such a fuss about and he hugged me and told me that he does respect me and it's just sex lol so from then I used to let him do it occasionally and eventually got used to it.I find it's a great way to hurry him up when he's taking too long and making me sore.If I say some variation of oh baby I want you to cum on my tits/face he will come within five minutes without me having to kill the mood by saying he's taking too long.When I give him a BJ to completion I let him do it because I prefer him to do it on my face rather than in my mouth,the taste of it makes me feel sick.I do find it slightly gross but it's not a big deal,afterwards I quickly go and wash my face.Even When I first found out what the word blowjob meant as a young girl I was sickened and thought I'd never do it but now I don't mind at all as long as my bf has a quick wash first.To be honest when you're in love with someone and want to please them sexually it's not that big a deal to do stuff you're not that keen on if you know they get massively turned on by it.That said if something is a hard limit you should never do it.My boyfriend enjoys certain activities that I could never bring myself to do and he's fine with that and to my knowledge it hasn't caused him to cheat either
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 September 2014):
 Just noticed your age. Sorry for going hard on you, you being your age makes your ignorance understandable. Just don't judge from here on and out.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (5 September 2014):
Your a very judgmental person, aren't you? What people do in the privacy of their own home is THEIR business, not yours. If some have sex in this or that position, with or without semen on their face... How is that supposed to make them NASTY?
What people choose to do is up to them, the only NASTY thing in this post is the way you judge someone. Having sex in any way (which is legal!) does NOT make anyone nasty. And having semen on your face is NOT degrading. But sure, if YOU don't like it, then don't do it. I, unlike you, wont judge you for it if you don't want to do some things and do other things instead. Its your life. Do, or don't do, whatever you please. I advise you to let OTHERS lead their lives the way THEY want to as well. Unless you want people to moralize you in return, and shove their opinions down your throat. So much fun.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (4 September 2014):
 Just because she has a face full of semen does NOT mean she is not decent and/or nice.
NO not all women want "facials"
Not all women want oral or want to give oral
NOT all men want or need blow jobs
SEX is very private and you would be amazed at how often what you think of a person in public is the complete opposite of their private life.
For example SOME (not all) men who are in HIGH POWER jobs (like CEO of a company) and have a LOT of power in their day to day life, like to practice BDSM (bondage domination sado-masochisim) and surprisingly enough they PREFER to be dominated vs being the one doing the domination.
SHE may not find it degrading or humiliating. IN fact, most sexual acts between loving committed partners can seem rather odd to folks who have not yet experienced it.
I'm a decent, nice, law abiding federal employee with two grown children. I could make your hair stand on end with what I like in the bedroom. Of course to you I would look like your mom and you would think that all I do is lay there and "close my eyes and think of England".
I do not like "facials" but not because it's degrading or disgusting, rather it's MESSY and I can't be bothered to deal with the mess.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (4 September 2014):
 Some women enjoy a man ejaculating on their face, and don't find it in any way degrading or nasty. Some women don't enjoy it at all and some wouldn't even consider trying it. It is very much a case of some couples do some things that others do not.
Whether a couple engage in such an act is very separate to the issue of whether they love each other or have a happy relationship.
Im all for intercourse to be "lovemaking" rather than, for the want of a better word, "Shagging" or "screwing" BUT breaking down sexual acts as either one or the other is impossible. What one couple feel is degrading and disgusting, another couple will find a fun, exciting way to spice up their love making.
Most couples do not want their sex life to consist of sex in the missionary position, with the lights out while making no noise and politely waiting to finish. For most that gets pretty boring and routine after a short while, especially as one gets to an age and experience level where sex is pretty much a normal part of adult life that we are comfortable with. Yet most couples do not want a sex life that consists of heavy bondage, whips, chains, pain, drawing blood, introducing animals or choking a partner at the moment of orgasm either. Most couples find a happy medium somewhere between those two extremes with some more towards one end of the spectrum, others more conservative.
You ask whether all the people who are publically considered sweet and decent perform such degrading, humiliating acts behind closed doors...well you need to bare in mind not all women find having a man ejaculate upon their face degrading in any way. Some women find it exciting, intimate and sexy. That doesn't make them any less decent or any less innocent and nice.
Most couples have sex for pleasure far more often than they do to conceive a child. Although couples in a relationship use sex as a way to be close both physically and emotionally and use love making as an expression of their love for each other, equally the want it to be fun and exciting too.
Whenever the details of a person sex life becomes public there will always be people who disapprove or are even disgusted by what they discover. For instance, if it was revealed a famous celebrity had slept with another person within a relationship but were not married, some people would find it distasteful, even appalling, that a person they admired and respected had not waited until marriage before engaging in intercourse.
What if it was publically revealed, for example, a famous clean cut, cheesy nice celebrity shouted out swear words while at the height of passion and excitement? What if they got turned on by a bit of spanking or dressing up as a fireman? Some people would find that amusing, others couldn't care less or would see it as a bit of fun, some would think it was degrading and humiliating!
Personally, although I can understand a woman not wanting semen in hers eye or mouth, I don't get what is so humiliating or degrading about facial ejaculation when many women are happy to allow a man to ejaculate onto their breasts, back, stomach and of course inside them.
You have to accept that some couple do things you don't like. You don't have to do them, but don't judge others for it either.
Mark
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (4 September 2014):
 EVERYONE have their own kinks.
MANY women do NOT like getting a "semen facial", but some do. Some women like to get spanked or spank their husband/BF/lover, some likes anal, some don't, Some swallows, some spit, some like it "vanilla" and some like it more ... adventurous. I could go on, but I'm sure you get the gist... IT all comes down to the INDIVIDUAL.
Most porn is based on what MEN likes. "Facials" is definitely more of a male preference than female. BUT there are women who will do things they get NO sexual ENJOYMENT out of (like getting semen on your face) to give PLEASURE to their partner, because GIVING pleasure can BE a pleasure.
Being a GOOD person ( privately and/or publically) has nothing to do with what a person likes SEXUALLY. And someone ENJOYING things you don't think you would enjoy, doesn't make them "bad" or less decent (unless it's violence, hurting kids/animal/people)
IF you find a "facial" personally degrading, then don't do it. Make sure your partner knows your limitations. This is why finding someone compatible (sexually as well as personality wise) is important.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (4 September 2014):
No honey, everybody is different. Some of us do enjoy being kinky, when I do kinky things with my husband I do not find them degrading, or nasty, or gross. Sexual preferences run a wide range in both men and women, there are plenty of loving couples who only do it missionary style with all the lights out if that's your thing. Personally I'd rather be alone than in a relationship like THAT, but that's just me.
You should only do what you're comfortable with, but try not to judge people for enjoying things that you personally find distasteful.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (4 September 2014):
 Different people like different things. Some might like that kind of thing, others hate it.
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