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Is our relationship doomed? He, (45) verbally abused me (19) when I queried his actions.

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Teenage, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 November 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 28 November 2012)
A male United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I found out my partner has been lying to me.

It's been going on for months until last week when I asked him why he has been lying to me (iv'e been honest, not cheated nor played around)

Instead of him explaining he just verbally abused me and put all the blame on me for his lying and we've not spoke since.

I dont know what to do anymore. Im 19 hes 45 ive known him for 5 years. We've been together since last year.

Do you think this relationship is doomed?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2012):

gal am in the same situation as yours,but the guy was 10years older, the fact that i trusted him and the fact that we're distanced, because I am at varsity, makes him put all the blames on me...

but you know what i did friend,i just had to tell him to go to hell because he isn't good for me.

So just delete that crab in your life and I am telling you it's for the best

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (27 November 2012):

Honeypie agony auntSo you were with a 40 year old when you were 14?

Or is the relationship new but you have known him for 5?

He sounds like an immature dickwad - trying to pull the IT ALL YOUR fault! instead of owning up to his own lies and mistakes.

My question is this, what are you doing with this dude?

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (26 November 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYes. the relationship is, indeed, "doomed".... AND it's all for the better.

Remember this wise advice that I got from my Father, many years ago: "When someone isn't talking to you... DON'T INTERRUPT THEM!!!!!" Apply that to your situation, here.

Good luck....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012):

You've been groomed by this man since you were 14? This sounds extremely unhealthy and quite likely illegal.

He probably isn't man enough to deal with a mature woman so he has to find really young women, actually in your case at the beginning, GIRLS who don't know enough about life.

He's a creep.

Get rid of him.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (26 November 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntAGE h as NOTHING to do with this. He's a liar.

You called him on it (rightfully so) and he like most liars that got caught tried to turn it around and place the blame on you... scummby thing to do....

He has been grooming you since you were 14 to be his plaything and now that you are developing a sense of right and wrong and self and he can't control you and use your for his needs, he's not happy.

I think you need to end the relationship. Find a man who treats you well, who does not lie to you, who does not verbally abuse you, who does not place blame on you for his bad behavior.

This is not about age other than he's not mature. MATURE men of 45 do not want to be bothered with girls of 19 unless it's to stroke their egos and other body parts.

He's a liar, he's abusive and I'm betting he's a cheat.

I bet at 19 he was all of the above as well.

END it.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2012):

Yeah unfortunately it is. He's a liar and abusive? You're 19 OP, not some doe eyed little boy, you do not stand for that. This 45 year old should know better than to treat a person that way, he has a hell of a lot of explaining, grovelling apologising to do and even then you'd be a fool to take him back.

Either this relationship is doomed or you are if you stay in it. I don't need to explain how much of a deal breaker his actions are do I? You're a grown man OP, you never accept this kind of treatment from anyone.

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