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Is our affair worth all this stress?

Tagged as: Cheating, Forbidden love, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 January 2010) 6 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2010)
A male Canada age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I have been having an affair with a married woman for the last 4 years. We know the relationship is never going to go anywhere due to our commitment to our respective partners. Over the last few months I have seen our affair is adding stress to my love and have suggested on several occasions that we should break things off. However, this seems to upset her even more. I know she is trying to fix her relationship with husband and I feel that I am adding to her problems. I just dont understand why she wishes to continue our relationship when it makes her so ill. I love her so much but want to set her free in a bid to make her happy. So the question is, should I keep pressing to end the relationship or just keep going to see what happens in the future, I long to be with her always but carnt bear to see her in such stressful state.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2010):

make sure that when you talk to your MISTRESS/LOVER your wife also gets to know what you two have been up to. wonder what her husband would say to his wife having a lover?????????? it you think stress is all you have experienced up to now, imagine the shit you and your lover will be facing when your deceit is uncovered. does her husband not mind that your semen is running down her leg when she comes from her coupling with you?? i always say this: if they do it with you, they will do it to you...watch this space!!!!!!!!!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010):

I wish to thank those who took the time to respond to my question. I think that all made very good points and will take more direct action. My marriage was washed up years ago and kept together for the sake of our child than love. I will have frank talk with my girlfriend to see if we should move to the next level or cut things off. Sometimes its best to make a fresh start rather than repair something that has fallen apart.

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (17 January 2010):

AuntyEm agony auntIts simple...cut all ties and never look back...it's the only way.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (17 January 2010):

End the affair and cut contact with her. If she really wants to fix her marriage, then you need to step out. And then look at your own marriage. Your wife still loves you, so try to fix it.

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A female reader, Angzw Zimbabwe +, writes (17 January 2010):

My advice is tell her your wife is on to you and that you should cool off for a while. After a few weeks just tell her that your wife is still suspicious and let's give it a few more weeks because you suspect that wife has hired a private investigator. You come up with a story each time and she will eventually get the hint and it will all whither away.

However, I have to add that what you are doing is just wrong and you have stolen so much from your wife that you have been giving this other woman. I hope you end this selfish behavior and work on your marriage.

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (17 January 2010):

Aunty BimBim agony auntIf she is still with you and gets stressed when you mention breaking up, she can't be too serious about "fixing" her relationship with her husband.

And your comment about longing to be with her always is a load of codswallop as well, if you long for it that much stand up and be honest with your wife and end your marriage.

Neither of you get much sympathy from me.

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