A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I am so much in trouble that i don't know what to do. I am 26 years old woman married to a man who has now broke my heart.We have been married for 3 and half years and have 2 kids together.Everything has been ok for us, he has always been a good father and husband.We were a happy family. Now as i am on maternity leave(baby is 6month now) we decided to stay in his country for some time(we live in a different country). It is just now when he told me his secret that he kept for 3 and half years.That he has a three year old son here and he wants to give him some fatherly love and educate him..He was born three months into our marriage.He explained it this way.The girl got pregnant and he wanted her to abort it, but she refused to do so.She wanted to marry him. She thought that if she keeps the baby, my husband will definately marry her, but he also refused to marry her because he loved me and wanted to marry me.It was a big issue between the 2 families as well. My husband's parents never forced him to marry the other girl. They decided to leave everything the way it was. Well i don't even know that part that much. The thing is that i feel so hurt that i want to scream.The pain is not going away. i am in in this country now all on my own.Ok i have my lovely kids but nobody to talk to about this. The whole family has deceived me. They all kept it from me.It is just too much for me to take.Please i want to hear some advice.I am so depressed that it is getting harder to take care of my own children.Sometimes i scream at them for no good reason which is not good.I think my husband has done such an unfair thing on me.Please help me. P.S.He is going to do DNA test in the nearest future.
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female
reader, Ginalolabridga + ♥, writes (20 October 2009):
 He was out of line he was having sex with another before you two got married, and the result of that is this child he has kept a secret since?
I think that was despicable of him and the reason he never told you was because he feared losing you! Yes i know hard to believe but he was not man enough to come clean and came into this marriage with this secret which was utterly wrong.
The fact is he has to pay for the maintenance of this child and will most probably want to be in his life but that is a big shock for you to take on board out of the blue like this.
You both have two kids of your own also and that has to be taking into consideration when you talk this over and talk you must, if this child is to come into your life it is better to feel no hatred towards that child because it is not his fault, but the fault of it's parents.
You both have some serious talking to do to come to terms with this, and my heart goes out to you cause i know this can not be easy for you to take.
One day at a time as they say and that is what you do, embrace the good and hope the bad will quickly pass!
I would insist the DNA gets done now and not in the future, the reason he wants it done is to be sure and if i was taking in another person's child i would want to make sure it was his!
Good Luck to you both.
Gina
A
female
reader, boo22 +, writes (19 October 2009):
 Hi there, hope you're ok hun, The reason he didn't tell you is cos he thought if he did you wouldn't marry him. He acted in a cowardly and selfish way.
The families have all been deceiving you as well. I'd feel sick in your shoes, and i think you're coping really well.
What's done is done now, so there's nothing you can do except make your husband realise the damage and upset he's done to you and try and make it better.
Would you have married him if you had known about this other child? If the answers no then you can decide if you want to stay together.
If the answers yes then he's got a lot of work to do, getting you to trust him again. good luck xx
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
 Eheh, he loved you, he loved you so much that six months before the marriage, he was fucking another girl.
How is the weather in the state of denial?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy + ♥, writes (19 October 2009):
He has been unfair to you. He really should have told you about this before he married you. You need to talk to him and ask him why he didn't tell you about all this. Hopefully, he'll listen to you. I'm sorry this happened and hope it works out for you. Speak to him about how you feel.
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