A
female
age
,
*arju
writes:After 11 years of marriage I found out that my husband was completely diferent of the one I though he was.He always had female friends which he always helped,send some gifts...but since a while he was connecting a lot with them and I was feeling left out.I felt that we were spliting in a way. He was distant,working a lot, wanting to sleep in the tv room many nights,the sex life was getting bad because he was just thinking about himself. I found out that he was sending gifts to some of his ``friends``,and all the time talking about them.One night someone called his cellphone ( about 4 a m) and he didnt want to answer it. I spoke about divorce and a friend of us called me to be our mediator.We separated for some months when I went to stay in my aunts house.He called me sometimes and was trying to talk like nothing had happening. Now,I called and asked for the divorce and told him all that I was feeling,the loneness,that I was with him all the time,but he was working a lot,and now I am gonna have a meaning to my life.After he cried and told me he was sad,I told him that I didnt want the money and I had my own and I got a new job.He said that if I am happy,he is happy. Now he is completely another person! I just spoke with him,and looks like he is happy,working well...I feel terrible! I love him but I couldnt live like that anymore,so I feel bad about the divorce,but seems like he is fine.I cant beleive,is he feeling relief ?
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female
reader, Paula4u  +, writes (23 November 2013):
 Yes sadly I concur, you were setup babes. Some men are just nluke that. They even get caught my n purpose so you walk out. Good luck don't look back.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2013): He wanted you to go willingly and without a fight.
He purposely made life hell. He closed you out, ignored you, sex was just to please himself, and he was openly courting other women. He waited to see how long you'd put up with that, before you got a hint. He was already over and done with you.
What are you feeling bad about? He's a terrible man.
You deserve to be free of that cold-hearted monster. Your devotion was a waste of your time.
You just don't realize it yet. He had to be sure you were fed up and done with it; so he could just get you out of the way, but wouldn't fight for your share of his assets.
Live long and be happy! Many blessings will come to you.
The unjust will pay in the end.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (21 November 2013):
 I think SVC nailed it. He wanted YOU to be the one leaving, so HE wasn't the "bad" one.
Wish him happiness and focus in your life and YOUR happiness.
Why should marriage = misery? If it's not working anymore then walking away is not a BAD thing. I would consider walking away a lot smarter, then staying for all the wrong reasons.
You wouldn't try and glue a window back together over and over, you would replace it or simply discard it. I know a marriage isn't as simple as a window, but when something breaks down and you keep trying to fix it, at some point in time you have to accept it's NEVER going to work. And that is OK too.
You feeling a little terrible or sad for the end of a marriage is quite natural. You spend 11 years with the guy.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (21 November 2013):
 yep he did what my ex did.. set it up so you look like the bad guy.
clearly he wanted out but wanted you to ask...
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