A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone. So I'm having a little trouble with my friend (lets call her X). She's 23, and she's always drunk. She always tries to start stuff with me ONLY when she's drunk, and she'll only "admit" things (like how stupid my boyfriend is, how she hates my boyfriend) and lots of other things that she would NEVER say sober. X and I are in a competitive gaming, not to mention she lives near by, so it's not like I can ignore her. Whenever I don't respond to text messages, she gets all bent out of shape and starts stuff. If I don't text her every other day, she gets even more bent out of shape. She's really controlling and a total b^^ch. She told a few people that my bf raped me...(which, btw NOT TRUE!!!) and she's always saying I'm on a leash and can't do this, that and the other. It's just annoying because she's constantly drinking and she takes everything personal. She gets mad if I appear offline (during our gaming sessions) and thinks its because of her... which, sometimes it is, but not all the time. She's 23 and I'm 20. She just always has something smart to say everytime I talk to her (not sober) but when she's sober she's fun to be around. I've never started anything with anyone in my life and I've never once got into so many arguments like I have her. Like while ago, I told her how my phone would keep saying resend text message and she's like "Mhm... just that leash you're on." I mean REALLY!? ugh, sorry for ranting and blabbling.. how can i get her to stop? Being nice, of course, I've tried ignoring her but it just doesn't work.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 And you call this a " friend " ?
Friends are people who are on your side. Of course they won't always agree with you, or with your choices, but they will tell you in a respectful way and their criticism will be constructive, not destructive.
If you have to dread the occasions to meet her because you know it is going to end in an argument, ( drunk fueled too ! ) I wonder why on earth are you still friends with her. We have the responsibility to chose well the people we admit into our life and closeness, we can't just let any riffraff come or stay into it and then moan that they make us miserable .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2012): First, it may be worth it to have a talk with her when she's sober. Tell her that her behavior when she's drunk, is unacceptable and makes you not want to be around her at all. tell her that if she continues to behave that way (whether because she's drunk or not doesn't matter), you're going to distance yourself from her because you just can't take it anymore. Tell her that if she is using alcohol as a means to escape from something or cope with life, that this isn't a good way because it drives people away and you will have to distance yourself if she stays like this.
if she takes note and reduces her drinking and belligerence then fine. If she doesn't, then start putting more distance between yourself and her, and so what if she gets bent out of shape for you doing that? You're getting bent out of shape by her behavior in the first place.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 She sounds very insecure and is taking that out on you by putting you down and teasing. She's dealing with her issues by drinking. This woman clearly has problems and I'll be the first to adamantly state alcohol is no damn solution, not even to your average shitty week at work. She needs to grow up. She seems to have little or no benefit to being in your life and that to me spells it could be wise to break off the friendship.
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