A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend whose adult son is having a lot of issues. Basically he is living on the streets and has troubles with his family, etc.My friend is sending her son money to help him out. I think it sounds like she's enabling his bad behavior, so I asked if she's been talking to a therapist or somebody herself. She said she's been talking to a friend who works in the mental health field.Don't you agree that talking to a friend is not the same as seeing a professional?Thanks.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 October 2012):
 IF her friend is a professional and is able to be detached and give the hard answers then it's fine.
And since we don't know why he's on the streets we don't know if sending him money is a wise idea or not...
I have a disabled adult child who would not be living in a group home if his parents did not help pay his bills... he's not a drug addict or a bad kid... but mental health services for adults in the USA are woefully scarce.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 October 2012):
 If that friend were Bob Newhart she'd be getting the best advice available - ANYWHERE.
HOWEVER, if it's not Bob.... then you are correct....
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (25 October 2012):
 Hi
There are few mums who would NOT help their children out like this, given the chance and his situation.So they know he isnt going hungry if nothing else.
You don't say what the issues are or why he cannot/won't actually live with his mum.Professional help is wise usually, a homeless charity seems the best place to begin,they will know which agencies to approach that can advise or help both her and her son.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 October 2012):
 Why is he living on the streets? Does he have mental issues? drug issues?
It may not be the same asking a friend for advice, as it would be talking to a counselor in certain points, on the other hand BOTH should be able to give her some common sense advice.
1. if the son has mental health issues (schizophrenia and not talking med for instance) she can't really do a whole lot for him, unless she has him committed, but even THAT can be hard.
2. if the son is on drugs, there isn't much she can do either - she can TRY and get him in rehab, but that is only useful for a person who WANTS help.
Either way, yes, sending him money is enabling him, but I think most mom who feel lost and unable to "fix" the problem will try anything to help their child.
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