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Is my boyfriend’s brother hitting on me?

Tagged as: Dating, Family, Social Media, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 November 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 8 November 2017)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months and we are very much in love. My boyfriend is very close to his brother, and we spend time with him a lot. His brother also has a girlfriend.

The problem is, my boyfriend’s brother keeps liking photos on my Instagram- but only photos of me in swimsuits or really tight clothes. I feel like he’s trying to subtlety tell me he’s attracted to me.

I would never risk my relationship with my boyfriend for anything, so I would never act on any attraction to his brother, but what should I do about this? Right now I’m just ignoring it, but what if he starts messaging me or something? Should I confront him, or tell my boyfriend?

(My boyfriend has had ex’s who have told him they are more attracted to his brother and it’s a really sensitive spot for him)

View related questions: has a girlfriend

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (8 November 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntDo you like his brother? For some reason it sounds to me like you want the attention that his brother is giving you. If you don't want boys liking photos off you with tight clothing on or swim wear then maybe keep them photos private and don't post them on the internet.

Is it just the photos or does he do anything to make you feel uncomfortable? If it is your boyfriend you really like and not his brother then you have nothing to worry about unless he does do something wrong, but liking photos is pretty harmless.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2017):

I think you should do exactly as HoneyPie says. No need to cause a rift between the two over his liking of your photos.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (7 November 2017):

Honeypie agony auntIf you post pictures of you in tight clothes and swimsuits on Instagram, my guess is you WANT people to see them and "like" them. I don't get it. You PUT these pictures out there for ALL to see... and when a guy (who happens to be your BF's brother) "likes" then you feel awkward? WHO cares WHY he is liking the "sexier" pictures. Maybe he is trying to get under your skin and apparently it's working.

Or if you only want CERTAIN people to see them you would limit who can see them, right?

So KICK the brother off your Instagram. There is no need for him to be trolling your pictures. OR change the setting in what he can see (if that is an option on Instagram).

I don't see how else you can make the brother stop. Your BF is NOT his keeper. YOU, on the other hand, can control EXACTLY what you put out on the Internet and WHO can get access. So USE that.

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (7 November 2017):

femmenoir agony auntYou should speak to your bf regarding the fact that his brother always "likes" your images of you in swimsuits and tight clothes.

Always be totally open and transparent with your bf, especially if you truly love him and value your relationship with him.

By the way, no disrespect intended, but why the need to post images of yourself in swimsuits and tight clothes?

I hear and see that many women these days, are doing this and then when they receive unwanted attention, they get very upset.

The same goes for women who send nude images of themselves to guys via their mobile phs.

It's a very bad idea and when things turn really sour, you can't really blame the guy, but yourself, because of your own naive actions.

STOP what you're currently doing and STOP drawing unnecessary attention unto yourself.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (7 November 2017):

Denizen agony auntAsk your boyfriend to tell his brother that his actions are inappropriate, unwanted, and should cease forthwith. Tell him you don't like it, and it should stop right away. he doesn't have to be heavy. His brother just needs to back off.

And stop posting pics of yourself in tight clothes and swimsuits. If someone else is doing it. then get them to stop. These pics hang around forever on the internet.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2017):

Are you attracted to his brother ? As being honest your post certainly for me, and I don’t know if the other aunts and uncles will agree - it more than indicates that you are .. as why worry or bother what his brother likes on your page ?

Here a question to ask yourself .. is your bf brother dating any of his previous gfs ?? - if no .. then the likely hood of him dating you is nil .. there could be this - competitiveness- and his brother likes to take away his new toy and then bin it as he never wanted it in the first instances . I would let my bf his bro is liking my page . I would also stop postin bikini or swimsuit photos . I mean that’s just sorry attention seeking - and no I’m not chubby or fat .. but I would never post those pics .. as being honest it’s just sorry plain sad for those who do . Then say Oo my god - this guy likes my tight clothes and bikini pic . Honestly come on . Your with someone . If the pic is a holiday snap one of yes . But if you putting it out there - guys will look and they will like ( or not ) and if this is to gander attention then your job done .. isn’t it

You shouldn’t stay with someone when you are attracted more to his own flesh and blood that’s just morally wrong .. sorry .

Let’s hope your bf not looking at your sister or niece or cousin with such relish wondering ooo I would never act in my attraction ..

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