A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has moved in with our mutual friend, who is a girl. They are also living with two of his guy friends.They have been getting really close. They are extremely flirty. In fact, they are closer at this point than I am with him.They are constantly facebooking each other and tagging each other in silly photos (I'm talking almost 50)He accidentally called me her name when I tickled him while we were lying on the couch together and didn't even notice that he did that.They text each other much more often than I text with him.At a restaurant they were at with all the roommates, the waitress thought they were dating and he thought it was funny so he pretended to be her boyfriend for the night, blowing kisses and stuff.On top of that, he wouldn't shut up about her while i was lying in bed with him. He just keeps bringing her up, even complaining that she gives the other roommates more respect.I don't want to say anything because I don't want to be perceived as jealous but the back and forth in my head is started to make me worried. Is he falling in love with this girl? He is certainly her best friend at this point. But I'm just worried that I'm not that maybe he is just more interested in her than in me. I'm feeling kind of disrespected and left out. I almost feel like a third wheel.If this drives me too insane should I break it off or tell him what?I don't think he would cheat, especially with a roommate, but I think there is more than one way to cheat (i.e. falling in love with emotionally).
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 September 2009):
 I think your right to be upset at this situation. I also think you're right that he's not physically cheating. Reason being, I don't know to many guys that will bring up and talk about the girl they're cheating with to their girlfriend as he has been doing. That'd be almost as bad as bringing a video tape, "look what I did" lol.
I does sound like he's developed a close friendship with this girl. Although it may be nothing more, that fact that you're uncomfortable should be addressed. I'd bring it up to him and see what you two can resolve before deciding to call it quits.
A
male
reader, OzBloke  +, writes (25 September 2009):
You should never feel like a third wheel in your relationships. I think you should discuss how you feel with him. He may not be aware of the situation.
When I was a teen, I played a lot of pool in my local pubs. I had a pool partner whom I played with frequently and together we won almost any game we played. He had a sister around our age and she spent a fair bit of time with us. I was in love with my partner and paid her no attention.
My partner talked to me one day about this other girl. She said she felt the other girl was flirty with me and too close to me. My partner was uncomfortable with the other girl spending more time with me than she was able too. Until that point I had not for a moment thought anything of it. Once my partner told me how she felt about the situation I was only to happy to appease her.
Maybe your boyfriend just hasn't put 2 & 2 together? I think you should (in your heart) feel like you're the closest woman to him and if you don't then you should say something.
If he thinks you're overreacting or has no interest to make you feel like you're the most important woman, then at least you know where you stand. And how you deal with that is up to you.
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A
female
reader, obsticalfree +, writes (25 September 2009):
This is a bit awkward If he were would you be able to do anything about it? Not a good idea of single women and men to live together . Long ago I had a similar situation he was farther away so I didn't see the interaction as you do but I had a hint from a couple of people and he basically told me he had with the offer to end it if I moved in with him! I said BYE. But it sounds like you really care for this guy if is the one, the one you want to be with I suggest you tell him that you would rather he not live with a woman just as he would not like you living with a guy and spending all that time with him. I doubt anything has happened but you know what you are feeling and that isn't a good feeling.
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