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Is me sending my boyfriend pictures of me in my sports bra okay?

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 September 2014) 10 Answers - (Newest, 10 September 2014)
A female Malaysia age 22-25, anonymous writes:

Hi :) I'm 15 going to be 16 soon. I am not exactly sure but like I've sent a number of pics of me in my sports bra to my boyfriend.... It sounds kinda stupid of me... But it also got me questioning if it's okay to actually do that?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2014):

As someone who has sent naked pictures to her boyfriend in the past let me tell you it could come back to haunt you. If it dose get out don't worry it's not the end of the world people make mistakes I would just advice not to do that again.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2014):

Jesus Christ, do not ever send a picture to someone, boyfriend, friend, anyone (!!!!) that you wouldn't be ashamed for your mum/dad/grandparents to see. Plus your future husband, employer...

It's not grown up, it's not by any means cool. This guy could screw you over and if not him then one day a boyfriend in the future could. How would you feel to one day wake up and that image has been shared to ALL your fb friends and potentially further afield.

Yeah it's just a sports bra now, but you want to end this habit before you're older and sending god knows what to a guy just because he's your boyfriend. Anything you wouldn't share publically I wouldn't advise sharing over a text or the internet. A decent, mind man would respect you and not just want pictures of your body to creep over. Respect yourself, you are worth so much more than sending pictures of your body. If a guy likes you then don't give yourself away so easily, if he's not prepared to respect you then wait for someone who will xxxx

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (9 September 2014):

YouWish agony auntYou're 15! That's child pornography if he's caught with your pictures. Never send pictures. Ever. Not ever.

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A female reader, Behavioural Analysis United Kingdom +, writes (9 September 2014):

Behavioural Analysis agony auntIt's never a good idea to do it, but it's even worse when either a) you're under 18 or b) your boyfriend is under 18 - which he should be because you are - but both situations put together make it a nightmare.

You need to make sure he deletes EVERY copy, BEFORE he has any excuse to decide to spread it around. I do meant to scare you a little because he will probably still keep a copy or two and hide it from you - just in case he wants them later.

Hun, it's not good. We see plenty of young women, a few years older than you, who are worried because their formerly trustworthy girlfriend/boyfriend/ex is threatening to show people their nude/semi-nude photos and/or spread them online.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (9 September 2014):

Ciar agony auntDon't send any pictures you wouldn't want the world to see.

If this guy had any character and really wanted to impress you, he wouldn't want to scare you off by asking for such pictures.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (9 September 2014):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntWUTizzit about sending provocative - and, maybe, not appropriate - pictures to guys that has you girls acting as if your brain has taken a vacation???????

NO....don't send provocative pictures to this guy... OR, anyone else!!!!!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (9 September 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntIf you would not want mom dad or your grandparents to see something then never send it.

Are you ok with grandma seeing you in your sports bra?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2014):

Remember this. What you send out into cyberspace, you no longer have control over. Once you put it in his hands, it becomes his property to do with it whatever he wants. He can show it to whomever he wants, and send it wherever he wants. Pictures last forever; boyfriends don't.

If you get mad at him, or he gets mad at you; he still can do whatever he pleases with those pics, and you can't take them back.

You are too young (and at any age it may be traumatic) to be sending out pics to anyone of yourself in your underwear or unclothed.

You are not old enough to deal with the trauma that results from the abuse or misuse; and public display of something too personal. You have to be very careful so no one knows it's you, but your boyfriend. Make sure you can't be identified in the picture; because showing your face is what will really upset you, if the pics are seen by anyone other than the one you want to see them.

Here are rules to go by. If you can deny it is you, and no one can prove it is you. It's okay. People know you by birthmarks, your size, and shape. Facial features like your nose and lips. The room you're in, or tattoos. They know the color of your hair or your jewelry. So if they can match anything from the pic to you, it is not okay.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (9 September 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntHow old is your boyfriend?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntIs it OK to do? Since you are a MINOR it might NOT be OK. Even if you are NOT nude it might NOT be OK.

What happens when you and your BF break up? Then he HAS pictures of you that you might NOT want others to see, you really think you can trust a guy to now show them to goodness knows why?

Have a little common sense.

IF you are going to send pictures (and I would suggest you DON'T do that again) make sure at least to keep your face out of the pictures.

Has HE sent YOU any picture of that "variety"? or have you been the only one to "supply with "entertainment"? Again, IF he hasn't sent any semi nudes to you, YOU are then the entertainment. And guess what? He might want to SHOW you off to friends... Would that be OK ? No, it wouldn't. When you take "naughty" shots and send them to people you open yourself up to a whole lot of potential trouble. So for now, send pictures that you wouldn't feel bad about being shown to your parents.....

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