A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright so a couple nights ago, my boyfriend invited me to stay with him and visit a university together. We are actually a relatively new couple but we are dating exclusively. We partied both nights we were down there, and I have not had that much experience with alcohol, or drinking. The first night was extremely fun, but the next night he saw his friend and I kiss when we were getting more bourbon. The rest of the night he wouldn't talk to me or hold my hand or even help walk me back to the apartment. He said I was flirting with everyone (which I was not, I was crying half the time) and he would barely talk to me the next day. I have tried to talk about it with him but he just shies away from the subject in person. He recently said that he doesn't know what he is going to do now, and that this changes everything. The kiss just happened, it isn't like I have feelings for another guy and he knows that I am not used to drinking. How can I redeem myself in his eyes? I was thinking that I could plan a really special date or something to show him that I care about him.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Even if he does come back the problem is anytime you go out with friends and have a few drinks he is going to wonder if your up to the same thing. If you really like him you did yourself a huge diservice to yourself and your integrity. Your on thin ice at best.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Stay far away from alcohol, or it will get you into even more trouble. Kissing another guy in front of your BF is unforgiveable. You stabbed him in the heart. If alcohol makes you do that, I'd suggest cutting it out, or you will either break other hearts or gain a bad reputation.
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A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (25 April 2011):
 Watch your drinking first. Do not let the drinking and partying take over a big part of your life. Keep that in check first. Also keep your behavior in check. Be classy about your interactions around people especially at parties.
I would not do something special for you bf, it will give him control. Tell him you are sorry and that you are more upset with your behavior than he is. Why? because in the end it is only YOU who has to answer to you. If he changes his mind about you, so be it, but don't feel guilty, it is his choice.
Your choices are your own, take responsibility to yourself first. This is a small incident in your life, proceed with no remorse and the will to do better in your own actions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Doing something for him might help, try and show him how much he means to you and how much you love him. Make sure you reassure him that nothing like it will ever happen again- loads! I was in a similar situation and reminding him of great times we had together helped us (he forgave me in the end). Good luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2011): Unfortunately, it's all in his hands now hun. Whatever he chooses to do is his right. You cheated on him. Sugarcoat it how you want, but you did it in FRONT of him. If he forgives you, that's great. If he doesn't, you should understand his reasoning and take this as a lesson not to drink anymore.
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