A
male
age
36-40,
*rOveranalysing
writes:Is it weird to arrange a date and invite friends along. Someone I met online invited his friend along once, I had no objection, and thought what a great idea. It totally took the edge off the meeting and made it much more relaxed and fun. But I get the impression that most people would find it weird and intense to invite a friend a long. Though the benefits are great, you meet two people, see them in a more relaxed context.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (12 December 2013):
 I'm in the "then it's not a date" category.
A DATE means a person (usually the boy) asks another person (usually a girl) to attend some activity at a specified later date with the express purpose of getting to know each other and see if they want to have more dates.
GETTING to know someone well enough to know if you want to continue to date them is pretty intimate stuff... having a third wheel around would cramp that social intercourse.
I do think that a double date for a blind date is a great idea however.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 December 2013):
 Yes but then it's not a date. Not even a quasi-date in my book. Having a third wheel the first time you meet ? it is so non datey.It's just ...three people having drinks or a meal together, and shooting the breeze, joking around... I don't doubt it can be fun and relaxing, but ...does not count as a date,if you are more than 16-17 .
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2013): Yeah I've done it a few times and it can be hassle. Maybe for homosexual men it's different or maybe it's the type of guy I am but I really don't like the whole two of them going off to the bathroom to chat every once in a while, having two women to impress knowing that every little thing I do will be analysed by two sets of eyes.
I end up feeling fake, doing the nonsense chivalry customs I usually don't to score points and having two women to pay for is also a lot of hassle.
That said I did end up taking a liking more to the friend than my original one time and we ended up sleeping together after my original date had fallen asleep so that was kind of cool, and I've also had the brought along with specific intention of the three of us having some fun time in that way too. So I guess it depends on the situation.
While it's not ideal I would go along with it for safety reasons, anything that makes your date feel more comfortable is always a plus.
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 December 2013):
 What's a quasi-date??
I'm in the one-on-one camp here too. You're SUPPOSED to be nervous on a first date! The "edge" is wonderful, because the payoff is if you two click and the ice is broken. I had a couple of first dates where it ended up us talking for hours as the time flew by. Of course, I had some that were complete bombs too, but most were somewhere in the spectrum.
I may feel this way because I wasn't allowed to formally date until I was 16 (my parents were extremely strict), so everything I did was with friends added and in groups. Doing the one-on-one was wonderful by comparison in my opinion.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2013): Meeting someone you met online for the first time is risky.You should always meet in a public place; and have your own transportation.I think the guy bringing a friend along was a good idea. In fact; I have recommended it to OP's; particularly women.Don't bring a flirt, they will only see it as an opportunity to steal a date. Just a neutral friend you trust, and will not turn the meeting into their own hookup.In your case, it turned out to be fun, and took the stress off. I would suggest that you inform them if you are bringing someone along. You should not make a person feel ambushed or ganged up on. You don't know a stranger's intentions, and risk is increased by numbers. So there is also a downside. You've learned something. So here is some advice relevant to your question.From now on, when you set up a meeting with someone you've met online, ask if they're coming alone. If they suggest bringing a friend, ask if it's okay for you to do the same.Stay on equal footing with strangers. If you wish to meet them alone, say so. You should set some guidelines, so that you aren't caught off-guard or by surprise. Remember, you don't know someone until you've met them a few times. Exchanging e-mails, Skype, and text messages don't substitute for an in-person interaction. Meeting in-person increases risk by exposure to a person who can do you physical harm. You stand a better chance of self-defense when one-on-one. So be prepared to even up the group, if a stranger brings a friend unexpectedly. Especially, if alcohol consumption is involved. Coffee, tea, or lunch, or if it's daylight; risk is reduced.It gets weird when it becomes a habit. If you are caught off-guard, and they try to bring someone after saying they were coming alone; call a friend to meet up with you later.Even things up. If you have too much to drink, or something is slipped into your drink, there will be an extra backup to keep an eye on you.Once it is established that you're dating or friends, you can ease off with dragging along a third-wheel.
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female
reader, crushcrushcrush +, writes (10 December 2013):
I don't think it's weird at all, I actually went with a friend on my first 'quasi-date' with a guy and we ended up dating after that (okay, it might have been a little weird for my friend, but she sure had fun telling my friends about how awkward my goodnight hug with the guy was). Having a friend along definitely makes the date more relaxed, and plus, if you turn out not liking the guy that much, you could just say it was a fun outing with some friends.
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 December 2013):
 It can work sometimes, such as a blind double date, but it also depends upon where you're going, the people involved, what contact, if any they've had beforehand and their expectations.
I would prefer my first date with someone to be one on one, but I remembered that I did go on a blind double date once many years ago. My friend set me up with her husband's friend and the four of us went out to dinner. We had a good time, but nothing came of it until several months later. Long story short...I married him.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (10 December 2013):
 I would not do this. If I were going on a first date with someone I was just meeting I would want it to just be us. But that's just me. Others may feel different.
I like one on one time to see if the chemistry is there. and I also think bringing friends along gives the impression it's not a date - rather than just friends getting together.
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