A
female
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anonymous
writes:Recently my hubby got his renewed passport and when I went with him to get his travellers cheques I picked up his passport [while we were waiting for his stuff] and noticed that on the page that asks for next of kin that he had filled in his brothers details.Am I being silly about being upset? I mean we have been married for 27 years and like every marriage we have had our ups and downs but mostly are happy.Why would he put his brother as a contact?? I would have thought that I was his next of kin... And to top if all, I dont think his brother has even got my mobile number in the event of a problem!!!I am upset about this but dont know if I am over-reacting here... Reply to this Question
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reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Eh... unless he travels a lot alone, who would be beside him on a holiday when it would be needed to contact next of kin? His loving wife?
And... maybe, he prefers the police to go see his brother before they go to his house first? So the brother can tell you?
Just two highly valid reasons to put someone else but you down as next of kin.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): I agree with the last two posters - I don't have my wife as my next of kin in my passport because she's almost always with me when I travel - it may be as simple as that for your husband too
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reader, Lovely Sweet Laura  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 I agree with both the other post but also I can see where you may be concerned. Just talk to him about it. The only way to figuring out his reasoning is by him telling you. You can speculate all you want about why but he is the only one with the answer. Best of Luck!
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reader, baddogbj  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 I always put one of my sisters as next of kin when I'm travelling or on travel documents because my wife is often with me when I travel and my sisters almost never are. This is not a popularity contest merely a practical issue of finding a responsible close family member who is reasonably unlikely to die in the same plane crash as you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2009): Hi. I think it might just be a man thing. My partner put another member of his family on his next of kin form for an employer. I was most upset until i found he was under the impression next of kin had to be a BLOOD relative! Your hubby may think the same or think its best to have a 3rd party as next of kin if you two always travel together. That would make sense. I dont think theres any thing sinister going on unless he travels alone a lot and youre worried he doesnt want you showing up on his passport. Definately get him to change the details or swop numbers with his brother so you would be informed of any probs if he does travel alone.
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reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (1 December 2009):
I agree with the post below. You might want to ask him why he did it (though do it calmly, or he'll think you're really getting at him and he won#t open up) But men sometimes feel like they have to protect the woman in their life from bad things. He might just not want you to get hurt if something bad was to happen, or he might think that if he does get hurt, you'll be with him.
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reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (1 December 2009):
 have you asked him why he did this? Maybe he thought that you would be at his side whenever and where ever he travelled, and that if he was in strife so would you be.
Another possibility is that he doesnt want you to deal with any unpleasant events that may require a next of kin being contacted
or
he didnt think
or you could have a problem, why not ask him, stay calm, but tell him you are upset and would like to know why he did this
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