A
female
age
26-29,
*issy-97
writes:Hi, im 18 a virgin ,by choice, but i met this guy im thinking of loosing it to, but he doesn't want to be in a relationship but stills wants to have sex. on one hand im thinking to do it because i know the sex would be AMAZING so i would have a really good first time, but then im thinking i shouldn't because i might get emotionally attached which i cant get because we wouldn't be in a relationship therefore he could be with other girls and vice versa. Also hes 7 years older than me.My options are, to go for pure physical attraction and hope i don't get emotionally attached or just wait for someone i genuinely liked but risk the sex being shit. PLEASE HELP!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, missy-97 +, writes (29 October 2015):
missy-97 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThat's very true! I've decided I'm definitely not going to have sex just yet and wait for a time were i wont have to even question whether to or not. Thank you all, so very much!!!!
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (28 October 2015):
 I forgot to add that most of the advice given to people who are questioning whether or not they should lose their virginity is this: if you have to ask, you aren't ready.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (28 October 2015):
You were ready to have intercourse for the first time but haven't done anything but kissing? You felt so turned on that you were ready to proceed with a guy who doesn't want a relationship.
Why did you stop, if you were so ready to have sex for the first time? What stopped you from proceeding?
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A
female
reader, missy-97 +, writes (28 October 2015):
missy-97 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your responses!just to answer Tisha-1's questions im a virgin, have been kissed but never done anything with a penis and i think that the sex would be good because last time i met him i nearly had it with him, but i stopped myself.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2015): I repeat.
"There is no such thing as casual sex."
Do a search on it.
Believe it.
Don't do it.
Someone will get screwed (hurt).
Don't let it be you.
If you learn this at your age it will be the best thing that you ever did…
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 October 2015):
Oh, and P.S., for your first time, if you are with a guy that you know really well and your relationship is based on mutual attraction and love and the possibility of a future? The first time sex may be awkward, but it won't be "shit" as you put it. It'll be amazing just because you are with someone you really connect with.
My guess is 25 year old dude talks a big talk but can't keep up with any woman of quality so has to keep dipping into the pool of inexperienced women. He'll wind up being that 40 year old guy trying to hit on women half his age at the clubs.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 October 2015):
Are you a "never been kissed" virgin? Or an "everything but penis in vagina intercourse" virgin? Or somewhere in between?
I ask because you seem to believe this 25 year old guy will be amazing, based on, what? His talk? Discussions with other women he has sex with?
Why not wait for a guy who does want to be in a relationship with you and then you won't have to ask if you'll get emotionally attached?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 October 2015):
 I think he has you conned pretty good into thinking that HE can make your first time amazing! just because he is older and perhaps more experienced doesn't MEAN he is a good lover, a good teacher or even a decent guy.
I had my first time with my first BF and it was pretty good, but it got MUCH better over time. It felt comfortable, fun, it felt right. It was REALLY worth waiting for. How do I know? Well I have talked to MANY of my female friend about sex and about that first time and a couple of them did have sex with a guy who "kinda" convinced them that they "might as well" lose their virginity to him and both of them regretted it afterwards. I think in a group of maybe 12 women 2 of us didn't regret waiting for " the right" person to have sex the first time. The other 10? ALL said, I wish I had waited. Oddly enough the two of us who DID wait were both much older first time than the other 10.
You are "good enough" to (well, let's be blunt) screw, but you are NOT good enough for him to CARE about or DATE.
What does that tell you?
This guy wants to USE you. FOR sex.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 October 2015):
 I would NOT recommend it.
sex can be purely pleasure and you don't have to be involved with someone to enjoy it but NOT to lose your virginity...
I promise you that waiting for the right person will be worth it.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (27 October 2015):
How do you know the sex will be amazing? First times are often far from amazing: they can be awkward, painful and cause considerable anxiety. Why don’t you browse the archive of sex and virginity questions and see for yourself? That’s why it’s best to take it at your own speed with some-one willing to wait until you’re ready, not pressurise you and who will put you at your ease and take things at your own pace. That has to be some-one you trust and can count on to support and reassure you. You can lose your virginity simply by having sex, but if the only thing that matters is the sexual act the pressure will be very intense and the experience probably will be horrible. You can only give your virginity to some-one once, so you can only give a man this special honour only once. Even if you don’t get emotionally attached there’s every chance you’ll regret giving it away to some-one who cares so little for you and sees you as nothing more than an object for his sexual gratification. Is this a man who deserves you? I really urge you to forget about him. There’s no rush to lose your virginity, just as there’s no reason to hang on to it when you’re absolutely sure you’ve found the right one: the right one will be some-one who loves and cherishes you.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2015): I think you are hoping to hear that screwing the manwhore is a good idea. Sorry but it's not. It is a very bad one. I think you already have feelings for him now, let alone after you sleep with him.Screwing a manwhore is also a great way to find bad sex (no matter what he tells you to the contrary.) Even if he tries to make it "good" it will lack the emotion you want in the experience. Manwhores have lots of practice having selfish sex with too many women to learn very much from any one of them.If you really want good sex then look for a man who has had a few relationships that lasted a while each. Or you could stop holding an unfair double standard about sexual experience and go find an inexperienced guy who is BF material and willing to learn with you. There are lots of them around.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (27 October 2015):
 I think you are a mug if you let yourself be deflowered by an older man who offers you nothing in return except perhaps an STD.
Get your head on straight and find someone who loves you.
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