A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if it's over or not. She's 35. We met about a month ago and hit it off really well on our first date, so we've been seeing each other regularly since then. She recently invited me to see her at a dance competition. I met her friends there as well. However, a day after the show she wasn't as chatty through texts, and then cancelled our date the day of claiming she felt sick. She texted in a playful tone a day later when I asked how she was feeling and on Friday sent me a funny image saying she thought of me, I responded and said I've been thinking of her too and asked her what she was up to. She didn't respond all of Friday or Saturday. I gave her a call earlier today (Sunday) and she didn't answer. She still hasn't contacted me either through text or a call. I kind of want to send some sort of text asking if she's ok or if there's something wrong or maybe even play it off and ask a normal question as if nothing is out of the ordinary, but part of me feels like her silence means she doesn't want to see me anymore. She used to text multiple times a day. Should I text her something? Try calling again? Or not contact her anymore and assume whatever we had is over. We did sleep together for the first time a week prior to her performance, so we're (or I guess we were) pretty close. Thank you for your advice, I hope you have a fantastic day/evening.
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female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (13 January 2017):
 So in short, she is not into you.
I'd wish her well, block her, delete her number and remove her from any and all social media and MOVE on. Why waste any more time on this one?
You now know that she felt the age difference is a big thing, no matter what she LATER said. She seems to "waffle" a lot in what she wants, doesn't want.
If she seems DISINTERESTED, YOU make the choice that you are done. Don't wait for her to stop being a flake and be honest.
Be done, move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I caved and called her a week later.
She answered, we had a nice conversation, I asked her out and she gladly agreed.
2 days later she cancelled on me, wrote a 4 paragraph long text message explaining why she ghosted me and why she thinks we shouldn't see each other any longer (she felt the 6 year age difference is too much and thought her life goals were very different)....but then called me so we talked for about 2 hours on the phone. She said she'd be open to seeing me again after the holidays (we were going to our respective hometowns)
So I returned, and she hasn't been very friendly with the texting, taking hours to respond. I'm seriously considering just giving up on her but part of me really enjoys her company.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 December 2016):
 Something seems to be distracting her. She seems to have lost interest for some reason. I would just call her up and ask her is she okay if she says yes plan another date if she lets you down then drop all contact.
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A
female
reader, Flabby Thighs  +, writes (5 December 2016):
She wants to dump you. Let her make contact next, otherwise move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2016): She has discontinued contact. So dump her. If people become distant after sex, the rule is...just let go. They will reattempt contact afterwards, once all their other interests and options have subsided or run-out. Then you will become plan B. Maintain dignity and your self-respect.
You deserve better. Don't attach your feelings because she's pretty and the sex was good. Even if she's very busy, you deserve at least a message to let you know she is well and thinking of you.
People who are truly fond of you do everything they can to let you know they want you; because you are valued. You're not a second-thought. Busy is no excuse. She wasn't too busy to f*ck you. The fact is, people who really care for you wouldn't want you to wander off and be found by somebody else. They will go out of their way, as you would, to keep you interested.
Cut your losses, my friend. It's not real unless you get back what you give. You'll be enchanted by her beauty, and sex will cloud your reason. You deserve respect, kindness, consideration, and to receive in return whatever you give.
No, do not contact her anymore. When she contacts you, let her know that you really feel better when people are considerate, and you don't want to get in the way of her dream. Find a lady who can fit you into her life and reciprocates your feelings.
If she's 35, that's a very late start on a dancing career; unless she lies about her age. Do not send her any text messages scolding her; because you have as many options as she has. So remember you're a man, not a spoiled pissed-off bratty little boy. Vindictive behavior reflects on you, and shows how immature and weak in character you are as a man.
Maybe it was just a fling for her. That doesn't make her a bad person. Sex doesn't make it a commitment, it was only sex.
So take your balls back, wish her well, and move on.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (5 December 2016):
If you think there might be something about her you really like, I'd call her and ask what's up.
If she doesn't pick up your call or claims "nothing" is wrong, then see if she is up for another date. If she declines, she probably isn't as into you as you were into her.
I don't know what it is with people dating today, but it seems like "ghosting" or ignoring people is the easy way out a lot of people like to choose.
So IF she doesn't seem KEEN on the phone to having another date then just make the call short and sweet and don't contact her any further because it would be a waste of your time.
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