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Is it ok to date my step-brother??

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2008) 27 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 18-21, anonymous writes:

i really like my step brother we are not blood releated just his mum got married to my dad do you think it is okay to date him?

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A female reader, chenell United States +, writes (26 April 2012):

i think it is okay as long as you both like or love each other because to be honest i date my step brother we been dating 8 months and our family is okay with it

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A female reader, nazzi1 United Kingdom +, writes (22 October 2011):

yes, infact i date mine.

there is nothing wrong with it and there is nothing illegal about it unless either of you is doing anything underage.

we met each other 4 years ago and liked each other but only started actually going out this year although we had kissed after 2 years. but anyway... it is legal to date as long as there is no blood relations even if your parents are married.

if you do date however you have to decide whether you are going to keep this a secret or not.

we told our parents after about 2 months of dating and his dad was ok with it but my mum was a little bit confused but we explained everything and i think she's ok with it but first before we told them we told my cousin who i am really close to and share secrets with so i could get her opinion on it all because i really helped and we also told my best friend and they where both totally fine with it anyway after we told our parents my cousin told her parents about us and theyre fine. everyone's only worry is what would happen if we where to break up.

but yeah if you are totally sure you want to and think you and your family can cope id say go for it :) hope i helped

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009):

im dating my step brother. we have been for 3 years and we are perfectly fine. we told our parents 2 years ago and are just now starting to tell everyone else in our family and extended family. everyone has been supportive of our relationship and thinks that we were made to be together. i hope things go well for you like us.

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A female reader, nicolebaby911 United States +, writes (5 August 2009):

personally i think its ok cuz im livin the same life

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2009):

My 18 year old son and my wife's 15 year old daughter started sleeping together behind our backs. Now they are apparently " IN Love". In my opinion, it's not a question of whether you can date your step brother, but whether you should. This is both their first realationship. Have they considered how their actions could affect the family? Where should our loyalties lie in the the event of a painfull break up that will likely eventually happen? As parents, how can yo NOT take sides? Of course you will. With all the pressures that occur in a family. Is it right or fair to subject yours to this kind of stress?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2009):

atm i have the same problem, i really like my kinda step bro, but my dad and his mom aint married.

anyway, i think he really likes me too, because whenever i look at him, i catch him looking back, and he laughs at my jokes, and if im honest, they suck!

i would say it's okay to date your step bro, if he loves you and you love him, whats stopping you? ino theres the deal with parents and that, but i think my father would be happier with me dating some one hes knows, and gets along with, then a complete stranger. ino ppl might find it sick, but it happens, and tbh you're not even blood related so its not insest, or breaking the law. but your dad and step mom are married, so it could be very akward!

i say, if you really love each other that much, go for it!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009):

My recent ex girlfriend dated her step brother before me and she kept it a secret from me. For almost 8 months she would never want me to meet her step brother and he was frequently texting her and calling her saying how he loved her and how sexy she was. She would spend weekends with him and not talk to me. She always made me out to be a bad person because I didn't trust her the whole while she is spending time with her ex boyfriend/ step brother. I say that it is not ok to date your step brother because when it doesn't work out because he cheats on you like her brother did to her or something like that and then you meet somebody that REALLY does Love You then how can you maintain the family relationship and be Truthful to one who loves you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008):

To all of you girls who like your stepbrother, there is nothing wrong with dating him. So go for it if you want. As long as you both are attracted to each other and enjoy being with and dating each other, that is OK. You are not related by blood, so there is nothing wrong with it. Are any of you girls here having sex with your stepbrother?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2008):

hi i was just reading through and i totally think its ok to dtae your step-brother theres no blood between you ... to be honest i date my step-brother - have been for a year now ...and its great my mum didnt take it to well at first but now shes used to the idea ... i hope your happy ... i dont think its wrong.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2008):

to be honest, I think it's in your best interest to disregard what most people have written here. No one else knows what kind of relationship you have with your mother and step-father, and it's only guess work to try and work out what their reaction would be. All that matters is if you truly love him and what your gut tells you to do.

It's not illegal either :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008):

Ignore any internet pal that will tell you it's morally wrong or illegal. They are ridiculous claims to make.

Even if you grew with him, he has no biological relation to you, and you. Anything that you find appealing about him now, you would still fell if you were brought up together. Think about the thousands of couples who knew each other for years before hooking up.

If anything, this should be the safest relationship you will ever enter, since you know what his like behind closed doors. No religion has a problem with step siblings who are attracted to one another. IF you and your brother got married, does that mean your parents shouldn't? Since when is "first come first serve" a rule in love?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2008):

I am in the same situation. my step brother and i had always known each other nd been friends and our parents got together 6 years ago... we do not live together but he and his brother come up at weekends. we have always had that 'special' bond and got on well, recently we have got closer to eachother nd weneva we have been out drinking we end up kissing. My mum has recently asked me about how well we get on.

it isnt wrong where the law is concerned, but my biggest worry is how family and friends will accept it.

i'd like to tell you to go for it and not worry as i wish i could......

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008):

Yes, I have known my step brother for 3 years. At first we hated each other, our family used to joke and say we were secretly in love, but at the time it didn't seem that way. I never spoke to him but in the past 6 or so months we got closer, nothing major has happened, just kissing and that, and now I love him and he loves me but there nothing we can do because we don't want to tell incase it breaks the family up so we have decided to end it. So far its not going very well and I can't stop thinking about him and I cry all the time over it. But i suppose that it will be too hard to try and make it work. Maybe, in a few years when we are older(hes 18 and im 16) we can think about it. but for now I think its best we forget about it. Good luck, if youre family are ok about it then good for you. xx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008):

it is okay to date or love your step brother, if you do not live together, and there is no blood relation at all. It is okay, if it is the will of God.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

heya the girl below who awnserd my q's have you got msn or something so i can get some more advise of u be really helpfull if ya did because i could help u 2 thanks

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008):

I'm having the same problem. I'm 17 and my step brother is too we both just met each other and there is definitely a strong attraction. I don't know how to block it cause everything about him seems perfect. I just think that if our relationship grows really strong then we are gonna have to tell our parents or else just move on. Which I don't see possible. Possibly could be the toughest heartache of my life.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2008):

I actually married my step-brother! His Dad married my mom after I turned 18. He was in the navy and I barley knew him. Once I got to know him, we fell in love. I do on the other hand, believe it would have been very different if we would have grown up together in the same house. But I NEVER had a brotherly relationship with him. Just because our parents married each other does NOT mean he is my brother.

Every situation is different, If it turns into something longterm, I would really consider how it could effect your family....if it doesn't work out-you still have to spend Christmas together so, it needs to be a major understanding between the 2 of you. Good Luck :)

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A female reader, xxbaybeegal United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2008):

xxbaybeegal agony auntwell, its up 2 u really init. its not illegal but it will or can cause confusion later on with ur mum and stepdad

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A female reader, AJ jess ^..^ United Kingdom +, writes (6 January 2008):

AJ jess ^..^ agony aunti dont think this is a good idea as it may cause rifts in your family life, however if you and him both feel the same its up to you good luck with your decision x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2008):

The fact that you are asking means you actually know that it is not ok - but you are looking for other people to possibly support you so you can get away with it. Why don't you throw the net a little wider and find someone who is not 'family'?

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A female reader, bleh222 United States +, writes (6 January 2008):

bleh222 agony auntuhhm, it's really up to you. like it depends how you two get along. if you get along like really really good and you think that you guys have no reason to break up, then go for it. but if not and there's going to be problems, then it's going to be awkward having an ex as your step brother always have to see him. but yeah i've always wanted to date my step brothers and iwould but their older. i don't see a problem with this. but your parents probably would have a problem with it. it just all depends. good luckkkkk!

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A male reader, BadVoice United States +, writes (6 January 2008):

The answer is NO! Legally and technically, you are not related by blood.....BUT.....you are related by marriage of your parents and this should make your relationship with your step brother..."morally" wrong. DO NOT DATE YOUR STEP BROTHER! Just my advice and my opinion

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A female reader, brooke5426 United Kingdom +, writes (5 January 2008):

brooke5426 agony aunttechinically yes it is ok. by that i mean its not illegal. i went to school with a girl who had been with her boyfriend for almost 2 years and then her mum started dating his dad, making them step brother-sister. but it was thought of as ok because they were together first. i mean on paper, you're not doing anything wrong.

But i would avoid it if possible. It cant end well, your parents will most certainly flip and it will cause a lot of awkwardness and problems within the family if it all goes wrong.

so technically you're not doing anything wrong but i would really advise against it because its asking for a messy situation

brooke

x

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A male reader, Uraz Greece +, writes (5 January 2008):

Uraz agony auntLegally, ethically, morally it is perfectly OK.

there is no law, no tradition, nothing to prevent you two dasting, sleeping (although it is early) and in the future marrying each other.

It may or may not work out which depends on many many factors one of which is how your parents will consider it.

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A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (5 January 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntHmmm. You may not be blood-related, but you ARE related by marriage. What would happen if you had a really bad break-up and you still have to see each other constantly? SO, No, I don't think that there is even the remotest possibility that this could ever work out. I learned early in my life that it is much easier to date total strangers (that you have checked out and gotten to know) than to date anyone related to you - or your friends - or anyone else's ex's (cardinal rule, never date friend's ex's). Life is too short for all of the complications. It's also easier to marry an orphan...

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A male reader, El Dente United Kingdom +, writes (5 January 2008):

El Dente agony auntI'm just guessing here but not that your parents are married I don't think you're legally allowed to have a relationship with him.I have a friend in a similar position but their parents aren't married but if him and his girlfriend wanted to marry, they would have to marry before their parents married. (I hope that makes sense). Even if I'm wrong about the law I dont think it would do your relationship with your dad and your step-mum any good, it could potentially tear the family apart.

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A male reader, Dr Vendetta United Kingdom +, writes (5 January 2008):

Dr Vendetta agony auntUm.. no.

Thats probably the worst idea i've heard since Germany invaded Poland.

it will cause alot of problems within your family if anything like this happend.

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