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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Is it normal for your BF to check out other women's behinds? Whether you are around or not?Do all/most men check out other women's behinds even if they are in a happy, committed relationship with their wives/girlfriends? And even if their wives/girlfriends are very attractive and have a pretty good behind themselves??Do guys look at an ass if it is right in front of them? Just because? Is their eye drawn there by nature? Even if their girl is present?Should we women take it with a grain of salt and let it pass or should it upset us? Women tend to feel insecure when their men look at other women for the most part. Right or wrong, we just do.Men, I am especially interested in your opinions.WHY do guys do this?Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2016): I dont just think its the nature of men, i think it is the nature of all people in general. with that being said, consider it like this. i am a straight female. no interest in being with a female. but, if a girl walks into the place with a nice body or face, ill stare at her more then i will the incredibly hot guy across from her. i do not think of her as a good fit for me, or as someone who has everything together because she looks good, but i still look at her. im inspired by her sometimes. but i know that if my relationship is healthy and we are happy, there is no one i would rather be with then the person i have beside me whom i invest in and love. i assume you also find yourself looking at these pretty girls moreso than guys, or that your eyes equally pay them mind as they do your spouse when youre out in public. whats most important is how good of a fit you and your spouse are in general and how good of a girlfriend you feel altogether. it doesnt matter how wonderful your boyfriend is and how happy you are, youre still going to look at that girls butt over there. so is he. an honest guy will tell you that females are the prettiest things in the whole world. it really is not about finding someone who doesnt think that, though there are a slight few guys who have such low self esteem that they think the prettier the shallower in every case and purposely ignore them, if a guy is all about having a relationship then what you bring to the table goes beyond appearance and leans more towards compatibility and how you make him feel as a person, something a lot of women need to remember and focus on watering. it helps to gather clues your guy gives you during random conversations. ive had boyfriends tell me before that they dont want me wearing that outfit that shows too much, or that they prefer my makeup toned down etc. ive had boyfriends tell me im being too friendly with the barkeeper or that im begging for likes online with a few innocent selfies. these are things to consider when trying to understand what he really thinks when he cant help but notice the girl in mcdonalds with her butt hanging out and every guy galking at her. yes, guys notice, but just like us women, its not always a postive thought that goes with it. this adds to the importance of compatibility with your partner.
A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (9 August 2016):
Sorry...I had to jump back in....So_Very_Confused...Nailed it.... That kind of woman...That confidence...Oh yeah :))))
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (8 August 2016):
 oh heck even I check out a good behind... if hubby is distracted i might even point her out... no crime in looking.
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (8 August 2016):
 I don't look for hot women but when a hot woman is in front of me I do look at her. Since I do it, I surmise that all men do it. When I do it, it does not mean that my woman is of lesser value, or that I'm ready to dump her for the other one... It's just you can't help yourself when faced with the beauty. Beauty is beautiful and Nem love to look at gorgeous stuff. Women go out of their ways to look beautiful, so it follows that they do it to illicit such looks.
Where I draw the line is what you do with that visual information. It's one thing to enjoy beauty and another thing to lust over it, risk your relationship or wreck it because another woman happens to look good. Are there men who do that? Yes. Are they justified? No. Do they need to be dumped? Yes.
Another issue is the apparentness of the staring. It does not take a man but a split second to determine that a woman is hot. It's nearly instantaneous, it's recorded in the brain, processed quickly... so what's the point of staring back afyerwards... Many men are too stupid to control their visual affection and don't know how to glance after they've just saw beauty. So if it ogling, frantic and stupid looking, hypnotized such that you see at strip clubs, those men have a problem.
Then there are women who go out of their way to notice these things so much so that one stray look, perhaps at the structure behind the short skirted woman got his attention ... and there she goes, off, fuming, and fretting endlessly that she isn't loved enough. Ridiculous.
I don't know which paragraph above you belong in, but in a nutshell, yes, men check you out, evaluate you. That's just how they are born.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (8 August 2016):
 If my husband didn’t notice a beautiful woman I’d check to make sure he wasn’t unconscious. He doesn’t stare at them or in any other way act inappropriately, but he does look. Why shouldn’t he? Men are wired to get a little ‘zing’ of pleasure when they see something attractive.
Are you worried about this simple act of appreciating a nice behind? What’s happening in the relationship that causes you to write this question in this way?
Let me rewrite this question to make it individual to your situation, then you can follow up with the background.
“My boyfriend checks out other women’s behinds, even when I’m around. Is this normal?
“We are in a happy, committed relationship, I’m very attractive and have a pretty good behind myself!
“My guy looks at an ass if it is right in front of him, and I’m wondering why. Is it “just because”? Is his eye drawn there by his nature? Even if I’m there?
“Should I take it with a grain of salt and let it pass or should it upset me?
“I feel insecure when he looks at other women. Right or wrong, I just do.
“Men, what is your opinion on my particular situation.
“Why do you look at other women’s behinds?”
I think the answer is super simple. Men like to look at attractive women.
There’s no problem or crime in that. It’s only when other things happen alongside that simple act of looking that would cause a problem.
One is if the woman in question has reason to doubt the man’s fidelity.
But if you are in a happy, committed relationship with a great guy whom you have picked to be your partner, what’s the worry there? There should be none!
Unless there’s some back story you haven’t shared with the aunts.
He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t like your backside, and the rest of you as well. Right?
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (8 August 2016):
Honeypie is right...
All men and ALL women check out other people.
You notice it more with your BF because you are insecure about yourself and what you have to offer.
If you know to yourself that you can rock any man's world, your BF could stare all day...no matter to you, because you know the moment he steps out of line, YOU can have him replaced with two shakes of your boobs...and done. :)
Staring and wanting are two different things.
Stop paying attention to what he looks at, and give him something to look at. He likes butts...well?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (8 August 2016):
 No one goes blind whether they have a partner or not.
We ALL notice attractive people. A nice set of legs, face, chest or butts. The "trick" is to USE your common sense and not ogle, not stare and be classy about it. Which means when you partner is around you either don't check out others or you are discreet.
NOTICING attractive people doesn't mean YOUR partner isn't AS attractive, or that you are looking to replace your partner.
I, personally DO NOT feel insecure if you husband notices a pretty woman. He is pretty subtle.
I think when you have a partner who OGLES - who makes it CLEAR to everyone around that they are LUSTING after every lovely lady they come across that is when there is an issue. Or if they HAVE to comment on every passing by lovely lady. At least it would be for me. Not because I'd feel insecure, but because it's not classy, it's tacky, crude, boorish.
I think it's unrealistic to presume that when you are with someone they will look at the ground or ONLY you for the rest of their lives.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (8 August 2016):
 Nature. It shouldn't be an issue unless they stare or keep glancing.Not all men do it, but most do (to some extent) - it's the same with women, though.It doesn't mean they value their partner less, so it shouldn't be made a big deal of, unless they're being rude or inappropriate (staring or making several glances).
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