A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:While I was at work last night my ex girlfriend calls me to let me know that she found a babysitter for our child and was going out with some friends. We remain close friends so this is pretty normal. I told her to have fun.I haven't gotten over the relationship yet. She seemingly has. She suffers from depression and takes meds for it but very rarely sees a therapist. Since the break up I have begun to suspect she me bipolar. I have talked to her about this and she thinks it is possible too. She exhibits a number of the symptoms. She has yet to be officially diagnosed.After I got out of work, around 1am, I went home and did some research on how bipolar disorder affects relationships. I began to see so many similar situations. All of the times we had broken up or had she had threatened to, the fights over the littlest things, it was probably a result of this. I began to think that maybe she was going through an episode when she broke up with me. Maybe the reason she says she doesn't love my physically is because of the possible bipolar disorder.Needless to say I got my hopes up...then she called. She called me that night around 2:45 am. She was very drunk. She called because she simply wanted to know how my night had gone. We did some small talk and she told me that a guy had flirted with her at the dance club and it had made her feel sexy. I was actually happy for her because she had said she wasn't feeling good about herself lately. Trying to be a neutral friend I asked her if she flirted back with him. Well it turns out that not only did she flirt back, she made out with the guy. It also turns out that she made out with another guy at the same dance club that night. I would be lying if I said I wasn't crushed by that. Here I though that there was a window of opportunity and then she goes and does this.Am I wrong for believing that a massive depressive, possibly bipolar, recently off of a significant relationship, mom of a toddler shouldn't be doing these things? I never did the whole clubbing thing but is it normal for people to make out with more than one person during the same night. Maybe it is just me but I'm not the type of person who casually makes out with someone who just started flirting with me. I mean wtf? The first flirty guy leaves and then the next flirty guy that comes along she does the same thing with? Does she have no self respect. Is it her or is it her illness? It seems like she gains her self worth from the attention others give her.I just feel so lost and confused right now. I love her and want to be with her. I feel like I'm watching someone spiral out of control. Am I wrong to keep clinging to the hope of us getting together again?
View related questions:
at work, broke up, clubbing, crush, drunk, ex girlfriend, flirt, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 October 2008):
You are looking for a reason why it went wrong and why she is getting over you.
She kissed 2 guys when she was drunk!! It's not exactly like she's become a crack whore. I think you have to admit your jealousy is getting the best of you here.
She may be bi-polar, that may be the reason why she split up with you and it may be that he was on a high and got off with 2 guys and later regretted it.
Or it could be that she is bi-polar and went out and had fun. She can do what she wants... she's a grown woman.
I'm sorry you guys couldn't keep it together and it could be her illness that caused some of the problems. But you can't go hoping that you've cracked it and she'll come running back to you now.
Show her your research and then leave her to it. Go out and have fun yourself. Be a friend to her but don't keep hanging on for ever hoping she'll take you back.
Good Luck!! xx
|
