A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 23 years old,Whenever I'v liked or been attracted to someone,that person has always asked me out..I'm an attractive girl and these men compliment me a lot,but I don't know why it never leads to relationships! Its just a date and then I feel its leading to nowhere I don't call or text or keep in touch,I feel they find me boring!or may be because I'm a private person, I don't talk much..!how do I get myself to be a bit more out there?I want the date to lead to something now,I want a relationship!
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (26 February 2013):
 I agree with Cerberus, it sounds like you're so private and non-talkative, that you may be coming off as kind of cold. It sounds like you need to relax and learn to have a bit more fun on your dates. I know, that's a lot more easier said than done.
Everybody is an interesting person. If you're not feeling talkative, then ask questions, listen to their stories - but don't chalk your own life or stories as boring. You are interesting too!
Approach one date at a time. Don't overwhelm yourself with expectations of the future. That puts added pressure on the whole situation and certainly is not helping you and your date relax. Not to mention, desperation is not the most becoming trait... just let things grow in a more organic and natural way. I do think that going out with somebody who you're genuinely interested in will help you relax. Remember - meeting a really great person should not add onto the pressure. Great people, let them allow you to relax more. If he's the right person, he should get to know you and like you just as you are. So tell him about yourself! Let him see the real you, underneath the privacy and reservations. Best of luck!! :)
A
male
reader, Glacier  +, writes (26 February 2013):
Do you have any hobbies? Hobbies you are enthusiastic about?
This would be something you can talk about.
It surely helps if you meet someone who has the same hobby.
This can quickly lead to a very nice conversation. That's how I met a girl once in the music store who also loved the band I'm a fan of. We hit it of quickly.
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A
female
reader, sneha09  +, writes (26 February 2013):
 i had gone through the same phase until i really found whats wrong with myself.i lacked feelings and caring for that particular person and though i was communicating verbally, i was unable to communicate by mind.i could not understand that person's discomfort and interest.I cud go on dating with this,its no harm but no1 can enter a relationship with it.
So try to look into this first.If dis is not d case,give a break.Don't take it seriously, go with 1 whom u don't like much,who knows whom you are refusing are the 1s with more potential.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2013): First off get rid of this "I want a relationship".
The best goal to have is to just date. Walk before you run.
OP you say you don't call, text and are quiet on dates and don't talk much. It sounds like you come across as disinterested and bored.
Would you keep trying with a person you felt was completely disinterested? I wouldn't.
Next time you have a date if you get that feeling that nothing is happening try just asking questions and let him talk. By far the best sign of interest is to ask someone about themselves and listen to them. Also after the date, send them a thank you text the next day and ask them how their day is going and ask them if they'd like to meet up again sometime next week.
Again though OP, date for dating's sake, don't be out there looking for a man for a relationship, you just put too much pressure on yourself and them. Make your goal to have a fun date with someone you like, after that make your goal seeing them again and keep going that way and let things evolve naturally.
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A
female
reader, jasmineee  +, writes (26 February 2013):
put yourself out there a bit more i know its hard but you have to try. If you really like this guy go for it, be the to cal him and ask for a second date casue in that case you would know if he also wants to take it to the next level
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