A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About two years ago I was going through Great Depression and I cheated on my husband twice and had a 6 week affair. We were in different locations at the time. I fell pregnant and had an abortion because he wanted me to. So I did. We moved into a new house afterwards because housing was hard that's why we were apart. I fell pregnant for him afterwards and everything was good.Then we started fighting a lot again. Very badly as to where I broke my wrist punching him in the head :-/ ... I was so depressed and hormonal I moved to my mums house 2000km away. I found out 2 weeks after our baby was born that he had been going out with someone for over a month. So obviously they were in contact before. I cried and went skitzo over the phone. Like a crazy stalker/abuser. But as often as I could. They have both blocked me on Facebook but with my new account I can see their pictures and blah blah. I told him crying one night that I could see her Facebook page and everything they were doing together. He never took me anywhere, never met any of his friends and never put my photo's on his Facebook or nothing. He's saying he loves her on Facebook and he is doing everything with her that he didn't do for me.Anyhow my birthday was yesterday and he writes me a message saying "I'm the last and not the welcome one, I wish you a happy birthday, have a great time!" .... And on his and her Facebook they've put new photos up of them looking happy and what not just before my birthday. Just wondering what the fuck he's trying to do??? I think he wants me to feel as though ruining our family is the biggest mistake of my life maybe. I dunno or does he just not care one bit??
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 June 2013):
 he's trying to keep a civil relationship with the mother of his children.
he's not teasing you or asking you back
there is no reason you two can't be civil and friendly in raising your kids together.
A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (15 June 2013):
 You're both much better off without each other. You had an affair, got pregnant by someone else, had an abortion and blamed all that on being depressed. A LOT of people suffer from horrible, crippling depression and don't do any of those things. You need to take responsibility for your own actions.
You were violent to your husband. You hit him so hard in the head that you broke a bone, presumably while you were pregnant. That wasn't the depression, that was because you were/are a violent person who couldn't control herself. It's not OK to hit a guy, just like it wouldn't be OK for him to hit you. It doesn't matter if he wound you up, you shouldn't have done that.
Then, when you break up and he gets together with someone else, you won't leave him alone and give him abuse over the phone. You have to stop with the Facebook stalking, too. They both blocked you, either out of respect for you or because they are tired of your psycho behaviour. Stop creating new accounts just so you can torture yourself by looking at pictures of them together. Maybe he's in a stable, happy relationship now. I know that's hard to accept when your relationship with him was such a mess but hopefully one day you will be happy for him.
You really need to get a grip and sort your life out, if not for yourself then for your son and the people around you. First of all, you need to take steps to divorce your husband and sort out access as far as your son is concerned. Moving your son 2000km away from his father probably wasn't a great idea, but you're at your mum's now and hopefully she can give you both some stability in your lives.
Block your ex husband and his new girlfriend on Facebook. That is never going to help you or make you feel better. Stop ringing him. The relationship is over, now you need to make it official. You will never move on as long as you are obsessing about what he is doing with his new girlfriend.
Make an appointment to see a counsellor. I really think you should talk to a professional because you seem to have some serious problems, not just with your ex, but in your life in general. You need to work on yourself, and once you begin that work, you will start to feel better.
The birthday message is pretty irrelevant. It's hard to tell from a Facebook post what someone is trying to say. Maybe he's a little bit bitter about everything that happened. Or maybe he has moved on emotionally and he was genuinely wishing you all the best for your birthday. It doesn't really matter because from now on you need to concentrate on yourself and your son, not what your ex is doing.
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