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Is he really making sense or am I downright stupid?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 July 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 19 July 2013)
A female Trinidad and Tobago age 36-40, *nna mills writes:

Ok so my Ex and i spoke about the problems we had, we also had sex he wants to take baby steps in getting back together i don't know why am starting to feel like its a game he's playing because he is still communicating with the girl that he cheated on me with knowing that she wants more am thinking if they are still talking then something will happen simply because she's trying to have him for herself.Now this young lady is pregnant they both claim that the child is not his brrrr?? what woman on earth would do such a devilish act of having sex while she's pregnant with someone else's baby ? number she knew that i also had recently made a baby for this guy and wants him to leave me and start a family with her and her baby AGAIN BRRRR?

and what kind of man is he to perform that sort of indecency how would he have felt if i did that to him while pregnant with his child ? and now want to take baby steps? am just asking if he really decided to forsake me and my child which he did sort of by sleeping with this woman,what she expects out of this whole ordeal? what should i do? i really love this man and sort of made up mind from the very start to make the relationship even if problems may arrive in the long run BUT i am not to willing anymore and i don't want to make the wrong decision, i think about my child not getting the opportunity of mummy and daddy together and enjoying a family oriented environment that's the only thing that makes me feel that i really want it to work but other that am confused.should i take the baby steps or this don't make sense to try at all?

View related questions: cheated on me, my ex

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2013):

thanks guys your responses helped alot you all were great i just wanted to be sure and not make the wrong decision but thank sooo much..there is a person of interest i think amma start all over

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A male reader, Xearo Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (19 July 2013):

A child would rather two happy parents who are not together than two parents who are together and are constantly in arguments.

While you do question many things here, the reality of the situation is that you were cheated on. He has also gotten himself into quite the mess and I think the best approach is to move very slowly with it. I think having sex was not a good idea while you are trying to be patient about the situation. I would really question his legitimacy in the long run. When your alarms are going off make sure you are the one in control of the situation and make sure you have things in place in case a future break up should happen. Depending on him might be the worse mistake you will ever make.

Too often I see Trini-wives taking back their cheating husbands. I really don't know how or why. I could never share the same living space if a woman ever did me that. Good luck to you. I don't think there is anything you can do about the other woman other than giving him an ultimatum of you or her. If you tell him you are ok with him talking to her he may not get the hint and may take your kindness for granted.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2013):

Ok i understand completly what you mean.

You want to have a family. Right? Not just a mother a child and a sperm donor. In order to make it work its going to have to be both of y'all trying to make it work.

Right now he just playing you. It is a game. To him. From the looks of it he just sat you down. Listened to whatever he had to...probably agreed with you...with the goal in mind to keep on manipulating you.

He said..."were gonna get back together but give me some time. For right now though i could use a little. YOU KNOW"! wink...wink.... And you know and i know that if he still talkin to that other (i could call her a heiffer..a homewrecker but im a stick with female) female that he out there with her to (probly sayin the same thing and talkin about you behind your back like the manipulator that he is). He aint makin sense hes trying to appear like he's making sense nome sayin like men are something else but i can tell you one thing.

If you keep tryin to make it work with him your just gonna break your heart even more. Your gonna become cold. Bitter....and the man worthy enough to be your husband is gonna have to pick up the pieces. I know it may seem like a long run but you can do bad by your dam= self. Your babys father is doing nothing but confusing you...Manipulating you and having his way.

Quit persuing him. Just stop out of nowhere and if he loves you and your child enough hell come to you. I know that with experience. Give him an altematum (idk how to spell that)but sometimes itll work itll be hard for you but make him choose.

If he has any values like you do hell come to his senses. If not do what you have to do not what you want to do. Hope this will help!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (18 July 2013):

Honeypie agony auntI would WALK away from this guy. He IS playing the both of you.

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