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Is he playing games? How can I heal and also hurt him?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Crushes, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 May 2018) 2 Answers - (Newest, 13 May 2018)
A female India age 16-17, anonymous writes:

Guys I seriously need help.please read whole. I need help.

I know this guy since the past 1.5 years, we started off as friends but then three four months into the frndship he told me he liked me. I had another friend (female) who had a crush on him so I was naturally trying to play the wing woman till he told me this. Later, he shrugged it off like a joke. But. Flirting increased, stares increased. Our conversations went on for like 2 hours. He even told me couple Lotta times that he liked me... Or enquired. On my perfect guy. We even had a fight about him trying to stay away from me cause he claimed he was distracted.

Moving on, suddenly he abruptly cut. Contact with me. Started ignoring me. I had by that time... Grown attached too. So naturally I felt horrible. I was at a point where I was confused about my feelings for Him. We didn't talk for three months just because he had cut contact solution abruptly. He used to ignore me at school. Maybe a glance or two here and there but still. After three months... Which I had horribly undergone.. I called him. The conversation lasted for a long while. He told me that apparently he didn't know it bothered me this much. I was shocked. I mean... For those three months my friends still tell me they thought I was depressed. Me and him started taking again. And things rose to a point where he used to confess he liked me and then say he was kidding. Seeing him talkinh to other girls had also made me uncomfortable. I had (still do) a crush on him. His reactions have always been mixed. He used to cut of for fifteen days and then come back the next day all nice and Friendly. I hava lost any sense of power I had. I can't deny what he says.

Now he's been again drifting away and I can't bear this on and off. I mean, even our friend ship is not stable. He's been talking lot in particular to the girl I mentioned in the beginning. He was totally ignoring her for the past 1minth when he was normal with me. Now he's like over friendly with her ND ignoring me.

And the worst part is that I feel like. His opinion makes all the difference. I'd he calls me fat, I doubt my self worth. I hate him having this sort of control on me. I mean... If he's shuffling like this it means he really doesn't care... But the fact that he comes by again and again should mean that he cares. I'm confused. And who does he tell me again and again that he likes me adores me and then says it was a joke. Yet when I talk to other guys I see him turning away.

Recently he's been cut off again and I can't bear it. Seriously, it's been three days and this time my friends also forced me to not call him cause they feel he's toxic for me. Earlier me and him used to talk like everyday. And I hate tat I'm getting so burnt up when he's talking to other girls.

Yet he's giving me mixed signals though currently he's on the ignore again mode.

What do I do guys . I really really like him. Like I end up being too nice everytime. Is he playing with me? I'd he is how to heal myself and hurt him? I just can't bring myself close to the idea if hurting him it feels like doing that will affect me more.

Please help

View related questions: crush, depressed, flirt

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2018):

I don't know just how to ignore him. And everytime he's back he makes me feel so much better. So wanted. Like he actually cares. What if he's misunderstood? That is the only thing I think. How can I stop caring. It breaks me.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (12 May 2018):

Honeypie agony auntYes, you should listen to your friends, the guy is an immature turd who is playing mind games. He is toxic.

And no, you shouldn't try and hurt him back.

TWO wrongs NEVER make a right.

You should instead CUT him off completely. BLOCK and DELETE him number and let him go. Think of him as a guy who isn't really ready to be with someone. He is playing these games with you because the affection was one-sided for a while and because YOU didn't immediately like him back he wanted to "punish" you for it. that IS NOT what people do when they CARE for someone.

Look at it from a more realistic viewpoint. You have known him for a year and a half and nothing GOOD has come of it. So why waste any more time?

He doesn't come by because he likes you, he does it to control you. He says he adores you, not because it's true but to PREVENT you from moving on and meeting other guys.

Words are cheap OP.

Telling someone - I like you and then 5 minutes later say it was just a joke is someone who is VERY insecure and immature. NOT someone you should want to be with.

So let him go. If you run into him you can be polite (if you wish) but otherwise DO NOT engage in long conversation or waste ANY more energy on him.

Nothing you describes makes me think he is a "catch" at all. He sounds like a little selfish turd.

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