A
female
age
26-29,
*ikayla5170
writes:I've posted about my issue a while ago, but, now I'm just having a difficult time facing the situation. I've met this guy months ago, everything was going smoothly and perfectly fine. We would talk for hours, he would flirt and he did told me that he likes me. He asked me to be his homecoming date, and I said yes. But after a while, we had a huge argument (which I did post about it a while ago in this site), and I did apologized to him and talked to him a couple times and checked on him if he was okay, but he never talked to me after the argument, it's been almost a month since he didnot even both to talk to me. I already know that he's really busy with his work and studies but it doesn't make any since that he has no time to just check on me.. and im not sure what to do at the homecoming party, because it will be so awkward.. and my feelings are telling me that he will ignore me at the party. I'm just really confused. I know that i did hurt him a lot during that argument. And i did apologize. But he's giving me the silent treatment i guess, or maybe he just moved on and doesnt want me anymore. im really lost and i have no idea what to do, I don't want to look desperate or needy
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2016): You are in an age-group that can change your feelings at the drop of a hat. He may like you, but if you're not really in an established relationship; disagreements may end any fondness he was developing for you. He is not a committed boyfriend; so he doesn't have to forgive you or let bygones be bygones. You may have gone too far; especially if you are aware that you hurt his feelings.
He cannot face you because his pride is hurt, and he has now formed a different impression of you. I think you should go to the party regardless. Enjoy yourself. It was a mistake. You know in your heart you're truly sorry.
Be civil and always give him a glance with a facial expression that is saying you're sorry. I don't think you should say it again. Once was enough. It's up to him to be mature enough to accept it. He doesn't have to.
Depending on what you said, the time it takes to get over it really up to him. So you'll have to forgive yourself and move on. You'll still have to move on, whether he forgives you or not. If he's being over-sensitive and making an effort to drown you in your guilt; it would be best you see it for what it is. He's not the last boy on earth.
Be careful about the things you say to people in anger.
Words can cut deeper than you realize. If you got personal and made some cutting remarks you knew would embarrass him or destroy his self-esteem; you put him in the position to avoid you. He has no other choice. It is for the sake of his own dignity and pride. We all have feelings. We go into self-protective mode, and it's best to avoid things and people that hurt us.
It hasn't been that long, and he may be a very sensitive guy. Be cordial and polite from now on. He may come-around; but that doesn't mean he will like you in the same way. Sorry doesn't fix anything. It is how you behave from the point you make a mistake that establishes with the person you hurt, that you are making the effort to make amends.
That's enough. If they make you plead for forgiveness, they really don't want to forgive you.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (3 June 2016):
 I agree with nonny up to a point,
If going to his homecoming involves you getting a dress/ticket/anything like that, you NEED to know if you are going or not.
However, I would presume he is done with you. A month of not talking? Yes, I would take that as a he is done and has moved on. I would PRESUME that you are no longer going WITH him to that homecoming. And why would you? Who wants to go to a party with a guy who doesn't want to talk to you? Who is still mad at you? That sounds like a WASTED night out and no fun at all.
And there is a LESSON in this mess for you. Apologizing doesn't always FIX an issue. You say you KNOW you hurt him during that argument, so maybe he decided that YOU are just not the kind of person he wants to date/be around - which in turn explains the silence.
I don't think he is doing silent treatment, I think he "ghosted" you. Which is, he "dumped" you as a potential GF/friend.
You do not OWE him to go. AND you CAN NOT change his mind if he is done with you, by showing up.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2016): If i was you i would just come straight out with the question , Are we going to this homecoming together or not if i dont hear from you by such a day ( give him at least 3 days as he could be very busy ) then i will take that as a no and i will go with someone else. That way your giving him a chance to respond in good time and your not dithering about waiting
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