A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently started a new job. One of my co-workers has been over the top nice to me, making jokes, and continuously touching my shoulder or back which makes me uncomfortable.Since I'm more shy, I find it difficult to look him in the eye, but he will stoop down to catch my gaze and I end up laughing in spite of myself, which makes him look pleased.Though I haven't given him any signs to encourage this, I get the feeling the more I laugh, the more he tries. For that reason, I've been trying hard to hold myself back. I'm worried it will end weirdly, since I have a boyfriend. Is he just being friendly, or do I make it known I'm just friend material/not interested?
View related questions:
co-worker, flirt, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 I believe on being direct and speaking up.
Next time he makes you uncomfortable, let him know!
When he touches you just say "Im sorry, I know you are just trying to make me laugh, but your touching me makes me uncomfortable, so I am going to ask you not to do it again please."
Best Wishes.
A
male
reader, krit  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 Some people are naturally touch-feely so they don't take the note of things but one thing is of sure that if YOU are new to THEM then its conscious decision to touch you on their part to touch you and they are fully aware of it and your every reaction.so if it its getting uncomfortable for you then start acting weird. He will take a note of it and stop doing it from next time. But if even after that also he doesn't stop then its disrespectful instead of being FUN. MAKE it clear in words that hes NOT allowed to invade your personal space.
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (23 June 2011):
 make sure you chat about your boyfriend to people at work. this may be enough to put him off you. some people are just super friendly and enjoy making people laugh, maybe he is trying to help you to settle into your new workplace and wants you to feel involved. put more physical space between you, if he ever steps toward you while talking, you take a step back. this will help prevent the touchy feely behaviour and it will send a body language message to him that you are not interested in him. also start telling him about your boyfriends and what you and your boyfriend are planning to do at weekends and stuff like that, general chit chat that will definitely let him know you are spoken for and happy in your relationship
x
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (23 June 2011):
 I am sorry to hear that you are feeling uncomfortable. It is hard to tell without knowing this man if he is just being friendly or if he wants more. But to save yourself embarrassed I wouldn't say anything to him just in case he is just being friendly. The best thing for you to do is just to keep your distance and if he does try to push things further and there are clear signs he wants something more well then just tell him you are not interested.
...............................
|
