A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have an online friend that is 40 years old and i'm 15. We met in a game. He plays around 7 hours per day in this game. At the beginning he spent a lot of his time with me and all our conversations were game related. He usually made me feel like i was just a little kid to him. then we started talking on messenger. we had a little fight, because he kept saying things i don't like. then he showed me a pic of his ''wife and daughter''(i'm pretty sure he is not married at the moment) and asked me how i look like and i told him i'm beautiful so he wanted to see a pic of me. I refused sending him one. 2 weeks later, when i appeared online to him, we started talking again. slowly we became very close i can say. he usually calls me names that mostly a lover would. he tells me i'm so cute and it's very nice of me that i help him. i told him he should smile more often in photos because he seems too serious and he says that if i think so, then he'll take other pics of himself in which he'll smile more. he asked again to send him a pic with me. he told me twice that if i ever have problems at maths i should call him in real life. at one point i told him he made me cry that night when we fought and he apologised and told me i'm an extremely sweet girl. in the game he tells me pretty often things like ''be careful not to get killed! i really don't want to loose you!''or once when he died he told me ''i die for you baby!'' and once in the game we were in a party with many players. at one point a girl started speaking our language and he seemed so excited that she is from our country and talked too friendly with her. i felt a bit left out and didn't really talk with him and acted a bit distant. then he asked me ''why are you so cold with me??'' to me it sounded like ''are you jealous?'' my family and friends tell me to stop talking with him as he is interested in more than a friendship and doesn't see me as a kid at all.They tell me he'll want to meet me in real life sooner or later. i thought about this too. should i put an end to this? is he really that dangerous? or are they all overreacting? I thought he is just friendly and i got a bit attached to him. what should i do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): Dangerous. End all contact immediatly and tell a parent, guardian or teacher.
Do not tell him you're ending contact. Just leave the game and any other sites where he can contact you.
No matter what he says, DO NOT meet up with this creepy man.
It is not acceptable or normal for a 40 year old man to be talking to a 13 year old girl this way.
Sorry if that sounds tough but very worried for you.
Your family and friends are not overeacting.
You haven't done anything wrong. He is the one who is in the wrong because he is the adult and he's taking advantage of your young age. I agree with the others that this sounds like grooming.
Please please tell a safe adult, (parent or teacher), and end all contact. Stay safe sweetheart.
A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (5 December 2009):
 Can I get a collective "ewwwwww"??
This guy is not right and needs to get a life.
You should drop all contact.
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A
female
reader, jaggirl +, writes (5 December 2009):
Stop all contact with this man! A man of that age has no business at all with a teen age girl! No matter how nice he may seem he is trouble!
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A
male
reader, SV +, writes (5 December 2009):
This guy sounds like a total loser. What self respecting 40 year old can afford to play video games 7hrs a day?? Also seems to be a fantasist if he's calling you cute and saying that he'd die for you. He's manipulating you because girls your age love attention and are very easily led. Cut off all contact with him and whatever you do DON'T be tempted to meet up with him in real life because you have no idea who he is or what he's capable of. All the best :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): Where are your parents? They should have been aware of your online 40 year old friend long before now. They need to put a key logger on your computer so they know what you are up too.
You know better than to let some guy old enough to be your grandpa to say these kinds of things to you and get you attached to him by showing you some attention.
Get off the game and call your real grandfather and ask for some real attention from your family member. You are wasting your life away playing this STUPID game besides the fact that it is an avenue for online predators. Yes my dear, they really do exist! That is why the net is a dangerous place and you should be spending your free time out in the real world away from your computer screen. There are even some slime balls on this site, but lucky for you I am a 53 year old woman and don't happen to be one.
If I was your grandmother I would be mad and disappointed in you, too, for not having good sense to stay away from this kind of nonsense from someone that you don't know anything about, never met and never been approved by anyone important to you in your family.
Get off the computer and go exercise your dog, do something, join a club at school, get involved in sports, talk to your mom or your friends in person instead of texting....I am sure you get the idea.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): You've posted this question before
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2009): He might be teasing you a little and being friendly but it seems he leads a sad life if he has nothing better to do all day than play a game and befriend young girls like yourself. Id remove yourself from the game for a while and delete him from messenger. Put bluntly he hasnt alot to offer someone like you and should really have better things to do. Grooming comes to mind. I dont know if youve heard of it. Google grooming and see if anything aplies to you and him.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (5 December 2009):
you are being groomed which means he is pretending to be your friend so he can sleep with you later. I want you to please google "grooming a child for sex" and read true life stories of children your age and younger who all thought they had a harmless older buddy. Its up to you if you decide to throw your life away in this day and age when 90% of kids are aware of this older men pursuing young girls by pretending to be their friend. The rule of thumb is this: has he said things to you that he can't say to you in front of his wife or your parents? If so, then he is a child molester preparing you for sex with him in future. Lose the grandpa my dear.
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