A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok am 20 and he is my teacher he is 42 so what do you think this will end up
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): I have a similar situation. I am 21 and the guy I am seeing is 47. I dont think there is a problem with it right now. He is very cautious about taking me around people. Hes worried about what they will say. What if I change my mind in the future? Will I have wasted all this time for nothing? Its already been 6 months. Its hard to tell if this is right.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (6 February 2008):
 When you are 35, in the prime of your life, he will be pushing 60. Please add this to the list of things that Irish talked about...
You are young and infatuated, this is the time of your life to be having fun with other young people - not an old fogey! I bet he can't even get into the clubs that you can! He probably doesn't even dance! And even if he still dances, no one wants to see him dance! C'est la Vie!
Child, go out and have fun! There's a saying - "You're only young once!" and guess what - It's true! What do you want to do for the foreseeable future? Marry and spend your twenties raising children? I think you do know that this is just a crush.
If I can't convince you, think about trying to bring him home to meet your parents... They won't like him because he's too old for you. They won't trust him because he was your teacher and he broke his code of trust between teacher/student ethics. They won't like him because he will rob you of your youth and die when you are still young, leaving you alone and leaving their grandchildren alone. They would prefer that you marry a guy who is younger and more trustworthy. They only want you to be happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Change the following statement please:
"Teachers, and others in position of direct control and authority over your education and grades, directly"
to
"Teachers,and others in a position of control, have authority over your education and grades, directly"
Thx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): Are you dating him? Is he married with a family? Or is this simply a one-sided infatuation on your part? We need more details. In some areas, dating an person in a position of trust and power like an educator, is looked down upon. Even in in colleges and universities. Why? Teachers, and others in position of direct control and authority over your education and grades, directly... and that makes any love relationship with you, his student--off balance because you'd be very underpowered here. He'd have some control over you...always. And that is unfair and not equal nor a balanced, healthy relationship. There are boundaries and his superiors or bosses would not like this and could view this, of some "initiated" inappropriate behavior on his part, and he could lose a good career.
And adding to that, there are notable emotional and maturity differences between a 20-year-old and a 43-year-old. But having said all that, you are 20, an adult. And you can date a man any age ,you want. Just be cautious when dating a person who teaches you. If he's single and available..can you not date him when he is no longer your teacher?
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