A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Does it mean a current boyfriend is cheating if he gets seductive text messages from an ex....He claims he's not cheating.....this was just something stupid that happened....I need help with this one....I trust him!!!!
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female
reader, sarah w  +, writes (20 July 2008):
 sorry but there is no smoke without fire,i wouldnt say its cheating but it is very disrespectfull.you should be comfortable in your relationship,i hope the texts are being ignored or even better change the number!
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 The guys are right - if he entertains, repsonds to or encourages the ex in any way then that would be cheating in my book, if he ignores her or puts boundaried in place then no.
How do you know of the texts? Is he being open with you about it? That would be a good sign. I do think that he should tell her in no uncertain words to stop - that he has a girlfriend and that he finds her texts inappropriate, put that boundary in place so she knows not to cross it again!
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 No, it is not considered cheating, however if he
1-does not tell you about it
or
2-does not tell the ex to stop
it is considered DISRESPECTFUL to your relationship.
Are you in an exclusive relationship, or are you both open to dating others? If it is exclusive and monogamous, he needs to be the one to put a stop to it.
-Frank B Kermit
www.frankadviceforwomen.com
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A
male
reader, Forgotten +, writes (19 July 2008):
 My friend, you and I should buy jackets, hats, offer membership cards and benefit packages!I am dating/or not a girl who has been a TERRIBLE source of discomfort for me. She dated him almost two years ago and recently became close friends with him again. While we were OFFICIALLY together she would hang out with him once in a while and adhere to a few requests; that she stay in contact with me during the time that she was with him, that i would know where they were and what the plans were and that I would never allow them to spend the night together even if she was too drunk to drive home from his house. It turns out that they rarely hung out at his house until we broke up/or remained together (still undecided). He recently graduated from a prestigious culinary school and she attended his graduation. During this time we were NOT officially together. She spent the entire day with him and his best friend (female) and his family, spent the night and consequently nearly every day for the following two weeks until he moved to Chicago for a job. She became more and more forgettful of me and found it easy for her to make me last priority while she only had a few days left with him. She accidentilly (yeah right) sent him a video (use your imagination) that was intended for me and also bought lingerie that was meant for me but was in her car in a bag with black high heal shoes and had been worn (one of the last nights he was in town), she claimed it was in her car because she was going to come to my house but I pissed her off. Now she is planning to go visit him in Chicago ALREADY in a month....oh yeah this all started out with him calling her babe and baby, I asked her to ask him to stop and he said he would but it continued...to this day! Keep tabs on that phone and follow your heart, your gut instinct is often the truest to follow. Don't be naive and a pushover like me. I trusted her too...
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 I think you need to consider the circumstances in which this is happening. Is she sending the texts, without his answering them, or responding to her provocations in any way? If this is the case, then it's not cheating. If she's sending him these texts because they have something going on, then it's cheating.
If you think he doesn't have anything, do you think you could ask whether he could change his number? Can he have her number blocked? Most importantly, do you think he would ask the ex to stop?
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