A
male
age
41-50,
*andagold
writes:HelloI recently met up with an old friend that I hadn't seen for many years. We met on Facebook and decided to catch up. She came an dvisited me for a couple of days as I now live in a different city. We hit it off..as friends..and really enjoyed each others company. I felt more than that though and after speaking on the phone a few times at a later date, I realised that I had very strong feelings for this woman. I told her how I felt and she said she felt the same way, but because she is engaged she musn't think of me as anything other than a friend. Although sas, I accepted this but since then, we have visited each other and speak a couple of times every week along with emails, texts etc. It is now very clear we like each other...but of course I haven't done anything else about it since I told her a while back. I really do love this woman and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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male
reader, pandagold +, writes (11 December 2009):
pandagold is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your wise words guys. It has helped. I'm just going to keep more of a distance, without losing the friendship. If she asks why, I'll just be truthful....I'm sure she'll understand.
Thanks again
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (10 December 2009):
 Thanks for the clarification :) Always good to know.
Sometimes it is easier to fall back into a certain way of communication ( you two have a past as friends) and that can seem fascination and new. But once you put your emotions out there you can not take them back.
Just consider, HOW you would feel if she was YOUR fiancee and she spend as much time communicating with another man.It might seem fairly innocent, but really, shouldn't she focus on his with these thoughts and emotions?
Honest, I would not be comfortable with it. Which in turn might mean that "my fiancee" would start to lie about how much we talked, the subjects ETC..
Like I said, if you don't watch out, something will catch fire.
I strongly believe that men and women can be friends. Granted, it makes it 100% easier if none of the two are attracted to the other. Most of my life I have had more male friends then female - but never have I nor any of my guy friends over stepped "that barrier" which in turn have made life long friends, some 25+ years.
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A
male
reader, pandagold +, writes (10 December 2009):
pandagold is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHello 'Honeypie'. Thanks for your reply...much appreciated. Just want to make it clear that the texts and chats have not included anything that her partner should be worried about. Since I told her how I felt...absolutely nothing has happened, apart from I suppose that the frequency of calls and emails are much more than a normal friendship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 December 2009):
I would back of in the "courtship" department and "just" be her friend. Don't keep talking about your attraction. IF you are the guy for her ( and not her fiancee) she needs to figure that out for herself.
To be frank here, I think what she is doing is wrong. She is leading you on yet, telling you she can't be more then friends... Can't really have it both ways.
How do you think her fiancee would feel if he saw your texts to each other? How would you feel if YOU were the fiancee?
You are playing with fire.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (10 December 2009):
 It sounds like the woman does want your friendship, but that she is devoted to marry her fiance. It would be good for you to maintain the friendship, but let go of your amorous ambitions, at least for now. Step away from the situation and see what happens, yet keep in touch and pursue any other possible romance in your life.
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