A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:What do you think about my situation with the guy I am dating and his friend?. I'll call the guy I am dating C, and i'll call his friend J. J winks at me a lot, and I knew him before C, as I saw him in a bar once and he kept looking at me then. On Saturday, I was out with C, and we saw J in the bar. C kept asking me to leave the bar, as he felt left out, as he felt that J was only talking to me, and not him too. I went to another bar with C, and he told me that J told him that he likes me (in an attracted way). J has told me before that he thinks I am good looking. J came into that bar too and sat him us. C said quietly to me, "if i saw one of my friends sat with a woman, I wouldn't go and sit with them". When C was away from the table at one point, and was sat on my own with J, J said something like if he was the same age as me, he would go out with me. I can't remember his exact words. C also got in a mood recently when we were out, and he left the bar we were in, so I was left on my own. J was there then too, and so were some of his other friends. J told me that a few people had commented on how C had left me on my own in the bar, and they said it wasn't right that he did that. He also told C that what he did wasn't right. C came back to the bar a short while after he left.J also told me that he would never leave me on my own. It might sound strange, but I feel like I am starting to get a crush on J. J also thinks that C is good for me in some ways though, and he thinks I am good for him. A lot of C's friends have said they think I'm beautiful and a nice person, and they have told him to look after me. He and J are both a lot older than me (like, old enough to be my dad). C also sometimes gets angry when i don't text him straight away, say, if I'm busy with something, which, I guess that can be seen as controlling in a way.I'm not sure whether to still date C or not, and I don't know what to do about J. What do you think?. I don't want to be criticized on liking men a lot older than myself. I have dated guys my own age, but it didn't work out with them.
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male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (18 April 2011):
 J sure talks a good game. He knows how to badmouth C without seeming like he's doing it. A lot of what you describe I've read here: http://www.girlfriendstealer.com/
Do you like C? He knows that J is into you, so when you pay more attention to J while you're with C, that's basically telling C you're more interested in J as well. It's one thing for him to get jealous over nothing, but this isn't nothing, this is someone trying to steal you away.
If you're not sure you still want to date C, then that's really your answer. Don't think J will live up to all his talk though. His actions scream PLAYER.
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